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Etiquette

Who pays for a destination bachelorette party?

My bridesmaids and I have talked about going to Vegas for my bachelorette party next year.... and I'm wondering if I should be paying for myself to go (i.e. hotel/airfare)? It's obviously a much bigger expense than one night out on the town, but I just don't know the etiquette for this! Help!
Swiss05

Re: Who pays for a destination bachelorette party?

  • You should absolutely offer. If they are planning to cover your expenses, that's great for them, but you're right, that's a lot of money!
  • I would offer - that is crazy expensive for them to take on.  Whose idea was it to go to Vegas?
  • Generally, the  GOH is treated to the party but since it's a destination party, it would certainly be alright for you to offer to cover your share.
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  • I would offer, and if they offer to cover a couple things for you, then that's great. 
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  • Honestly, if it were my party I would insist on at least paaying my airfare.  That's a huge expense, and I wouldn't want my part to be on my BMs.
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  • I would definitely offer to cover your share of the costs.
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    Anniversary
  • I'm having a semi-destination b-party (driveable but we're renting a beach house for the weekend) so I offered to pay my share of the house, but my BMs said my food/drinks would be covered. I think offering if very polite and if they decline and cover it all, then so be it. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_pays-destination-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e6489ebe-23c6-4da9-a1e4-d69b514fc96fPost:69cd6e45-4950-4c23-9f21-2d642c7b3126">Re: Who pays for a destination bachelorette party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly, if it were my party I would insist on at least paaying my airfare.  That's a huge expense, and I wouldn't want my part to be on my BMs.
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    Ditto.  I would not offer, I'd insist.  Unless your friends are all really well off, that's a huge expense and while very nice of them, to me it would be too much to take.    I'd feel like them paying for themselves and taking the time to go is MORE than enough for them to pay.  I'd just feel very uncomfortable otherwise.
  • annakb8annakb8 member
    2500 Comments
    You should 100% offer. I think I'm in the minority on this, but the idea of the bride getting a free ride for her bachelorette party has always made me uneasy, especially if she has anything to do with choosing where the party is and what kind of activities are going to be included. I think you should definitely expect to pay your airfare and share of the hotel room, and if I were you I would probably expect to pay for at least part of your food, drinks, and tickets to any shows you see in Vegas. Food and drink is expensive there, and after paying for their own airfare and hotel I wouldn't want my bridal party to have to fork out for my food and entertainment as well.
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I'm with you Anna.

    Night on the town is one thing.  3 days in Vegas is completely different.   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I also agree with the above, its good to offer. But then it also depends on your relationship with your BM's and MOH. I was an MOH last year and we took the bride, covering all expenses, the only issue was not all BM's may be wanting to pay so that some will end up covering it all. It depends on them, how they agree to arrange it but if they do, then so it is :) Enjoy!
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  • I did Vegas just a month ago for my party, and I paid my airfare and hotel.  And for me that was non-negotiable.  Chances are some of the people going to Vegas will be some of the same people in your wedding, and that is a LOT of added expense.  It's obviously different in every group of friends, but I wasn't going to put that expense on anyone else.   
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  • For my destination bach party, they would only let me pay airfare, but I definitely offered to help with everything. After they refused to let me chip in further, I picked up dinner on Saturday night (but I had to be tricky to get past them). It's nice that they offered to pay, but I felt bad with all the expenses.
  • You may want to offer, at least for airfare. Traditionally the bachelorette parties I've been to everyone chips in to cover the costs for the bride. However, we've never had to fly anywhere before, so definitely offer to cover that cost. At the very least your girls will see that you are aware of the effort they are putting into for this. Have fun!
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