Vow Renewals

Guest List and General Concept

My husband and I are having vow renewals on our one year anniversary.  I know most people wait for a major anniversary to renew their vows but I was incredibly sick for our wedding.  I was in the hospital for days leading up to the wedding and missed the rehearsal and groom's dinner.  I was released on the day of our wedding with the plan of checking back in as soon as possible after the wedding, which is what happened.  I made it to the wedding but most definitely still should have been in the hospital.  Unfortunately, I don't remember my vows, all I remember is pain and the haze and confusion of the pain killers.  I made it through the grand entrance of our wedding but missed the rest of the reception.  Since I don't remember our vows, I want to do a vow renewal.  My husband wants to have a HUGE party (500+) and invite everyone he couldn't invite to our wedding due to size restrictions at our venue (we moved back to his hometown so he has a ton of people he wants to invite; all of my guests have to travel).  I think that we should limit our vow renewal guest list to people we invited to our actual wedding because it's so close to our wedding.  I would actually like to limit it more than our original guest list because I'm picturing having it in our backyard.  He's picturing a potluck in the park (which truth be told, the potluck part is off-putting to me).   We can't afford a second wedding but we can afford either of the scenarios we envisioned.  We're really butting heads on the general concept and the guest list so any advice or suggestions for compromises would help.

Re: Guest List and General Concept

  • edited September 2014

    I am so sorry about the circumstances around your wedding day. Awful that you were so sick but good for you on having another event now that you will remember!

    As for your plans, I don't have any solid advice on how to compromise but 500+ people sounds so overwhelming to me! The lack of intimacy seems like it would have the opposite effect of what you want that you missed the first time- a chance to really enjoy time with those closest to you and celebrate your marriage. I don't even know how I would feel if I were on your guest list now but not a year prior. I say stick with your original list... or smaller. :)

    I love the backyard idea. The potluck, not so much. A vow renewal can be as casual as you like but I personally feel it should still be "hosted" entirely, in that you feed your guests.

    Best of luck!

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm sorry that you were so sick on your wedding day! That is terrible! As a guest at your original wedding, I wouldn't be put off by the vow renewal at 1 year with the same guest list. But I would extremely side-eye a 500 person vow renewal. ____________________________________________________________________________ I like the backyard idea as well. Do not do a potluck, that is tacky. If you are inviting guests to any event, you should fully host it. Dry is fine, but don't do BYOB either. _____________________________________________________________________________ Have you thought about going on a great vacation with the money you would use for your large vow renewal and just renewing your vows privately while on vacation? That could be extremely romantic and will most assuredly outshine your wedding! Just hire an officiant and photographer!
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You are both going to have to compromise and get on the same page. Definitely no potluck. I'm sorry you were so sick on your wedding day!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • Oh, my.  So sorry you were sick on your wedding day!  I wasn't sick on mine, but it was so stressful that I don't remember much about the ceremony, either.  Lots of brides blank out at their ceremonies.

    Have a great celebration party, but no potluck.  My sister had a pig roast for her wedding reception with potato salad and coleslaw from the grocery store.  Delicious!  You might check with barbecue restaurants and caterers if you like this idea. Get sheet cake from the grocery store or Costco.

    500 guests?  I think your DH should get a grip! 

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