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Pity Party- Table for 1

tarheelbyproxytarheelbyproxy member
Knottie Warrior 10 Comments 5 Love Its
in Chit Chat
I just need to vent, and this feels like a "safe" place...meaning I'm afraid that I don't get this off my chest this way I'll say something hurtful to my FI :(
We've been talking wedding dates, and we finally narrowed it down to the perfect and meaningful date, in a perfect and meaningful location. We decided to have it at my family's house on the night of July 3rd with a cocktail and dessert reception. Then we'd spend the 4th of July on the lake (the 4th is like Christmas for me), boating, playing games, cooking out... it was going to be fantastic. Then watch fireworks while making s'mores to end the night! It was going to be an amazing weekend. 
But as my FI was telling his friend about the plan, his friend reminded him of a prior commitment for that whole weekend that he agreed to over a year ago.
I am beyond disappointed. I know that no matter when and how we get married, that day will still be special. But this was going to be perfect because he is such an introvert, this would have allowed him to actually enjoy that time. And I am so frustrated with my FI that 1.) he NEVER plans ahead, and the one time he does he didm' t remember so I got my hopes up for nothing! and 2.) He knows that the 4th of July is the one day of the year that I look forward to the most. It's hurtful that he would even make a commitment for that weekend since he knows that we always go visit my family at the lake then. And I can't ask my FI to have our wedding then anyays because then he'd breaking a commitment to a dear friend, and that dear friend wouldn't be able to come to the wedding. 
Honestly, I'm just throwing a temper tantrum right now. I get that. I know I need to buck up and that in the grand scheme of things, this is nothing. And I know that we'll think of another plan that turns out to be just as special and that I'll be excited about. But right now,  I feel like I won't be as excited about anything else. 
Boo hoo. Poor me ;)
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Re: Pity Party- Table for 1

  • SenecafSenecaf member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I'm sorry. It sucks you got your hopes up.
    If your own FI has decline your date a lot of your guest probably would too. Holidays are tough for weddings. So at least you won't have that future disappointment.
    Enjoy that weekend as 4th of July and make another weekend special too. I'm sure you guys will find another good date.
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'd be disappointed , too! How long have you been together? What kind of plans do they have?




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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited September 2014
    I am sorry you are disappointed.
    I think you are focusing way too much on the date.  You can have the wedding you describe on another date, minus the fireworks.  I was married in late June.  My new husband and I drove my car from Iowa to Maryland where we would live.  We spent July 4, 1976, at the mall in Washington, DC, watching the fireworks over the Washington monument on the 200th anniversary of Independence Day!  What about doing something like this?
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  • tarheelbyproxytarheelbyproxy member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    sarahbear31 said:
    I'd be disappointed , too! How long have you been together? What kind of plans do they have?
    We've been together 3 years (just got engaged a few weeks ago). He committed to going to his oldest and best friend's family reunion (and playing some sort of part in it, like emceeing it. But true to form, he can't remember). I love him, but his lack of attention to detail drives me nuts sometimes. But hey- that's why balance each out so well :)
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  • tarheelbyproxytarheelbyproxy member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    CMGragain said:
    I am sorry you are disappointed.
    I think you are focusing way too much on the date.  You can have the wedding you describe on another date, minus the fireworks.  I was married in late June.  My new husband and I drove my car from Iowa to Maryland where we would live.  We spent July 4, 1976, at the mall in Washington, DC, watching the fireworks over the Washington monument on the 200th anniversary of Independence Day!  What about doing something like this?

    It's funny you said that- we actually live in DC :) It's a family tradition in my family to gather at our lake house for 4th of July festivities. It's the one time a year that we are all in the same place at the same time. We are a close family, and the lake house has always been a gathering place for us growing up. Now that we're all adults, the 4th of July is the one time we can do that. So regardless of my fiancé's plans that weekend, I'll be up at the lake.
    I do agree that I am focusing on the date too much. Honestly, I know myself well enough that I knew it would be these tiny details that drive me nuts when planning on wedding. That's why we originally agreed to eloping. But you are right, we can still have a great wedding weekend on another date.
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  • esstee33esstee33 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I remember you posting about this on another board. Sorry the 4th didn't work out -- I know you were really excited.

    I'm vaguely remembering you saying something about the lake house being your happy place, right? Is it possible to have it there another weekend? Whatever date you choose will still be special!
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  • tarheelbyproxytarheelbyproxy member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments 5 Love Its
    esstee33 said:
    I remember you posting about this on another board. Sorry the 4th didn't work out -- I know you were really excited. I'm vaguely remembering you saying something about the lake house being your happy place, right? Is it possible to have it there another weekend? Whatever date you choose will still be special!
    Yes, it is definitely my happy place. Fortunately, my fiancé loves it, too! I'm super bummed that the 4th didn't work out, but I'm getting over it. Part of the challenge is that lake house is not occupied all the time, and it doesn't belong to me. It belongs to my grandfather who no longer lives there (lives with my family out of town), but they decided to keep the house as a haven for us. So it takes a lot more work to have a wedding there when it is unoccupied (that may seem backwards, but it's true).
    All the same, it will all work out. At the end of the day, we'll get married somewhere and I am going to spend the rest of my life with my best friend. That's what matters.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    If you have your wedding at the lake house another weekend, you'll have two happy weekends to celebrate every summer.
                       
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