Best Planning Advice

loveislouder · September 2014

Okay ladies and gents, My girlfriend is getting married (YAY!) and she was asking me what's the best piece of wedding planning advice I ever received. I told her all the normal ones - don't plan an event you can't afford, don't go into debt for a wedding, etc. I told her the best advice I ever received was to actually READ your contracts and know that they aren't always set in stone, so if you're not comfortable with something, ask about changing it before you sign. What's the best piece of wedding planning advice you ever received?

sarawifenow · September 2014

Although it sounds harsh, the best advice I received was that nobody cares about my wedding as much as I do. It really helped remind me to do my best to not make every convo wedding related and helped me keep me down to earth.

wandajune6 · September 2014

I was told to remember that the wedding isn't as important as the marriage. It's not about planning per se, but it is a great perspective check.

esstee33 · September 2014

Yup -- exactly what @wandajune6 said. It doesn't matter how fancy your dinner and decor are, or what your dress looks like if your relationship is busted. Plan your marriage, THEN the celebration of it.

Also, just from personal experience, try to keep in mind that literally nothing is as major as it seems during planning so long as the end result is that you're married. You're going to have SO MANY crazy, stupid stressful situations, and people are going to be epic pains in the ass, and you just need to let it roll off your back or you'll drive yourself crazy.

Cookie Pusher · September 2014

The best advice I got was to not talk about the wedding planning with anyone whose opinion I didn't want. Because everyone has an opinion, and it's almost always contrary to yours and irrelevant (unless they're paying, that is).

Jells2dot0 · September 2014

For me, it was to not let people guilt me into things. You can't make everyone happy with these types of things, but as long as you are respectful of others involved (like if someone else is paying) and within etiquette, you should do what makes the both of you happy.

I eliminated this issue the second time when I eloped and left everyone out of it

Inkdancer · September 2014

As long as you have your marriage license and your husband-to-be, you have everything you need. That was what I kept reminding myself when I was about to have a meltdown over something.

LadyMillil · September 2014

As long as you're married by the end of the day, everything else is just bonus.

And the standard, make a budget that you can afford and stick to it!

holyguacamole79 · September 2014

Our priest gave us good advice - "remember to have fun! "

larrygaga · September 2014

Nothing will be perfect, so lower your expectations and you will have a great time!

Maggie0829 · September 2014

Put the comfort of your guests first. You may want to spend $6K on linens and chivari chairs but your guests can't eat linens or drink chairs. So worry about what your guests will actually care about first (food, booze and music) and then figure out your decor.

beethery · September 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

The best advice I got was to not talk about the wedding planning with anyone whose opinion I didn't want. Because everyone has an opinion, and it's almost always contrary to yours and irrelevant (unless they're paying, that is).

This is THE BEST ADVICE. I watched my FSIL get railroaded by other (non-paying) people's demands about her wedding, and really her LIFE, because she'd mention things and that made them think she wanted her input. So they'd say, "I don't like the plan you have for X, you should do this because I'd like that better." and she'd fucking do it!

Don't be a doormat for no-damn-body unless they're paying, and even then don't fuck around with that until their money is in your hand.

You better believe I saw all that happen and when anyone asks me about anything, I say it's all locked down, so excited about it, and what'd you think about the weather this weekend? Can you believe how warm it got out of nowhere? So weird right? Bet winter is going to be a damn mess.

The other best advice is get real good at changing the subject. Become a subject-changing ninja.

jdluvr06 · September 2014

My mom gave me the best advice. She told me not to stress about stupid wedding shit because in the end it is just one day.

smalfrie19 · September 2014

For me it was just keeping in mind "what are people really going to remember in a year from now" so when it came to the centerpieces or small details.. are people really going to remember that? or will they remember being hosted properly and having a good time?

theartistformerlyknownas · September 2014

Put your focus on the things that will last. Your relationship with your SO first and foremost - don't fight over petty things or jeopardize your financial future. Relationships with friends and family - don't treat anyone like shit just because you're the bride; you're not a damn princess. The memories you give your guests - people will remember the way they were treated long after they forget what your centerpieces looked like. And for me, lasting mementos via photography were a relatively high priority after the other things were checked off. Chair aesthetic, themed favors, whether anybody's dress had the right hem length, what color your FMIL wears, fancy aisle runners, whether your roses were violet or plum... literally zero bearing on the rest of your life.

bekt14 · September 2014

During my first couple months of planning I was so stressed and overwhelmed because I felt pressured to "impress" everyone with an amazing, beautiful, unique wedding. I would hear people say "I can't wait to go to your wedding, it's going to be amazing!" and instead of feeling encouraged- I would get even more stressed out because I felt so much pressure to live up to their expectations.

My advice would be- F*** everyone's expectations and assumptions!!! This isn't their wedding! They can plan their own damn wedding if they want. Chances are they won't even notice/remember all the tiny little details you worked so hard to perfect. This is about your relationship with your loved one, and that's all that matters! You don't have to please anyone with your wedding- especially if you pay for it yourself (which I would recommend).

stephjordan89 · October 2014

When looking up wedding ideas (decor, dresses, hair styles, etc.) Decide on something and move on. Don't keep looking. You're always going to find something better. It just gets really confusing and overwhelming.

OH - and enjoy every moment! IT GOES BY SO FAST!

Shelby92 · October 2014

Buy a wedding checklist. I bought one for $7 @ Barnes and noble and it has been a life saver!

paulsenwedding2016 · October 2014

Best advice received SO FAR is that when people ask/offer/imply/question the things you are doing for your wedding, give them blanket answers if you don't really want their input. If someone tells you a particular venue is so expensive you might not be able to afford it? (Which happened to me) Just say, well I'm really just looking for ideas and such. This doesn't give them much of a chance to add anything else and since I'm not a very blunt person I would rather just skim right over these comments rather than address them directly. At the end of the day you and your FH need to be happy with your decisions, this only happens once. Everyone else can have their opinion saved for their own wedding.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · October 2014

At the end of the day, no one is going to know or care that you had monogrammed napkins. Don't sweat the small stuff.

vulpiepop · October 2014

The best advice I got was to stop letting people veto my ideas and stand my ground. I'm never going to make everyone happy and it should be the wedding FI and I will be happy with.

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