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Can someone remind me how to respond?

ElcaBElcaB member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We received our first RSVP listing an additional guest we did not invite. Can someone remind me the proper response? I've been trying to find the threads that discuss this forever and haven't had any luck. 
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Re: Can someone remind me how to respond?

  • AprilH81AprilH81 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Something along the lines of "I'm so sorry, the invitation was for you and spouse.  We won't be able to accommodate the kids/lover/babysitter.  I hope you will still be able to make it!" 
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  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Contact the person who was invited. Say "we are looking forward to seeing you at the wedding. We can't accommodate freeloader, though. " Keep it short and sweet, and you don't need to give reasons why the other person wasn't invited.




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  • Liatris2010Liatris2010 mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    "I'm sorry the invitation wasn't clear, it was only for [people invited]. We hope you will be able to attend without [rude write-in], we are looking forward to having you there."
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  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Out of curiosity, who are they trying to bring?
    I did have someone write-in someone and I found out it was a girlfriend that I didn't know he had (my bad).
    But if you're sure it's definitely not a SO, yup, what PPs said.
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  • acaton5acaton5 member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments
    Shut it down. JK. But really, what PP said. We had this happen to us just a couple weeks ago (a couple added their 2 adult children and a grandchild). Whoever's invite this is (your FI or yours) needs to contact them via the phone and just state the facts. "The invitation was only for X and Y, we cannot accomodate Z. We hope you'll still join us." Don't give reasons because they will try to outsmart your reasons.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    aurianna said:
    Out of curiosity, who are they trying to bring?
    I did have someone write-in someone and I found out it was a girlfriend that I didn't know he had (my bad).
    But if you're sure it's definitely not a SO, yup, what PPs said.
    This. I'd make sure it's not an SO first. If you already know it's not then everything PPs said.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    "I'm sorry, but there seems to be some confusion.  The invitation was for you and SO.  We unfortunately can't accommodate anyone not listed.  That said, we're looking forward to seeing you and SO at the wedding."
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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    aurianna said:
    Out of curiosity, who are they trying to bring?
    I did have someone write-in someone and I found out it was a girlfriend that I didn't know he had (my bad).
    But if you're sure it's definitely not a SO, yup, what PPs said.
    @Aurianna, the invite is for FI's & my mutual friend "A." We invited her without a plus one because she is dating "T," another one of our mutual friends who is also invited to the wedding. She RSVP'd for herself and her female friend. She is not a lesbian and knows T is also invited to the wedding, so I'm not comfortable with her inviting some rando chick to be her wedding date. 
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  • Wegl13Wegl13 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    In retrospect you probably should have only sent A and T one invitation, to one of their addresses, with their names one on top of the other (if they aren't living together). That's water under the bridge now but I think it would have helped indicate to this person that they are invited as a unit so you can't bring someone else to be your "unit."

    However what's done is done so I agree with PPs. Call up, state the facts, get the hello off the phone, and leave it. After that if rando friend still shows up, she's the asshole. And it'll be fine.

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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Wegl13 said:
    In retrospect you probably should have only sent A and T one invitation, to one of their addresses, with their names one on top of the other (if they aren't living together). That's water under the bridge now but I think it would have helped indicate to this person that they are invited as a unit so you can't bring someone else to be your "unit."

    However what's done is done so I agree with PPs. Call up, state the facts, get the hello off the phone, and leave it. After that if rando friend still shows up, she's the asshole. And it'll be fine.

    Hmmm, I didn't think of that. A & T knew the other would be invited, so it didn't cross my mind. Oh well. I'm sure things will work out just fine. 
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