Wedding Etiquette Forum

Weird Address Question

Two of our friends recently got married. The husband is Russian and his wife took his last name. In the Russian culture, the wife feminizes (???) her laat name. So for example his name is Alex Petrov, so she marries him and becomes Jane Petrova. How do I address mail to them? I think the obvious answer would be to write out both names in full right? But what if I wanted to write out Mr. and Mrs. P? Would it be incorrect to write it out as Mr. and Mrs. Alex Petrov?



Re: Weird Address Question

  • I think technically the family name is still Petrov so that you would be correct writing joint correspondence to Mr. and Mrs. Alex Petrov. They aren't different last names so much as a masculine and feminine version of one name, with the default group name being the masculine. However, I think if you are super worried about offending, you could ask how they would like their joint and individual correspondence addressed. I think there's a point which personal preference takes precedence over the rules.
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  • I would just ask them how they prefer to be formally addressed. I did this for our wedding - I have a friend who is a chiropractor and is no longer practicing. So I asked her how she and her husband prefer to receive formal mail.
  • JaxInBlue said:
    I think technically the family name is still Petrov so that you would be correct writing joint correspondence to Mr. and Mrs. Alex Petrov. They aren't different last names so much as a masculine and feminine version of one name, with the default group name being the masculine. However, I think if you are super worried about offending, you could ask how they would like their joint and individual correspondence addressed. I think there's a point which personal preference takes precedence over the rules.
    This. My sister feminizes her Russian married name but correspondence going to both of them is address to Mr. and Mrs. MasculineForm. Definitely ask if you're really not sure, though.
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