Second Weddings

Remarrying...My Ex-Husband

So this will our second marriage....to each other! When we got married the first go round, we were straight out of college and had been dating since 10th grade.  Long story short, we got married, divorced a year later, and here we are a couple years down the road, engaged again.  The only reason we want to have another wedding is because we have a different group of friends now.  We rarely talk to anyone who was in/went to the first wedding, excluding family.  These are obvious life-long friends, and we both really want them by our sides for this. But there are so many things questioned when re-marrying your ex.  <?xml:namespace prefix = "o" ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 

Our first wedding was the big, traditional blow-out of a wedding.  Catholic church, 300 guests, the whole shebang.  We want just a small, cheap wedding this go round. Which brings us to the guest list issue this time.  We are not sure where/how to draw the line. I have it around 150, but we really want it at about half of that.  This list includes friends, immediate aunts/uncles, and cousins.  Eliminating the cousins would get us to the number we want, but there are a few we want there.  Is it rude to invite some cousins and not others? We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings in this process, but we are on a tight budget, and we want who we want there.

 

Other questions brought up…do you get walked down the aisle again? Do you still do all the traditional reception things…cake cutting, father/daughter dance, first dance, garter/bouquet toss, etc?! I want it to be like a normal, semi-traditional wedding, but I also don’t want it to seem weird since we have already been married and divorced. The only “shower” we want is a honeydo “whiskey and wine” party…basically just a get together of friends to hang out and drink.  And we would like another bachelorette/bachelor party, since none of our friends were there for the last one. 

 

I know this is a long post, and I appreciate any advice yall can give! This is not a situation you hear of often!

TeamAwesomeJ&J

Re: Remarrying...My Ex-Husband

  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    mod
    NatSprat said:

    So this will our second marriage....to each other! When we got married the first go round, we were straight out of college and had been dating since 10th grade.  Long story short, we got married, divorced a year later, and here we are a couple years down the road, engaged again.  The only reason we want to have another wedding is because we have a different group of friends now.  We rarely talk to anyone who was in/went to the first wedding, excluding family.  These are obvious life-long friends, and we both really want them by our sides for this. But there are so many things questioned when re-marrying your ex. 

     

    Our first wedding was the big, traditional blow-out of a wedding.  Catholic church, 300 guests, the whole shebang.  We want just a small, cheap wedding this go round. Which brings us to the guest list issue this time.  We are not sure where/how to draw the line. I have it around 150, but we really want it at about half of that.  This list includes friends, immediate aunts/uncles, and cousins.  Eliminating the cousins would get us to the number we want, but there are a few we want there.  Is it rude to invite some cousins and not others? We don't want to hurt anyone's feelings in this process, but we are on a tight budget, and we want who we want there.

     

    Other questions brought up…do you get walked down the aisle again? Do you still do all the traditional reception things…cake cutting, father/daughter dance, first dance, garter/bouquet toss, etc?! I want it to be like a normal, semi-traditional wedding, but I also don’t want it to seem weird since we have already been married and divorced. The only “shower” we want is a honeydo “whiskey and wine” party…basically just a get together of friends to hang out and drink.  And we would like another bachelorette/bachelor party, since none of our friends were there for the last one. 

     

    I know this is a long post, and I appreciate any advice yall can give! This is not a situation you hear of often!

    It is best to invite in circles, so I would vote for all the cousins or none. It will hurt feeling if you pick and choose which cousins get to go and which don't.

    It is a wedding, since you got divorced, so you can can be walked downy he aisle again, cut the cake, dance, etc.

    You need to talk to your priest, unless you got an annulment you may have some issues with the ceremony. If you didn't get an annulment you are still married to each in the eyes of the Catholic church.

    I don't know what a honey do “whiskey and wine” party...can you offer more info so we can tell you if it's appropriate, please? It is rude to host your own showers or parties in your honor. 

    If someone offers to throw you are bachelor/bachelorette party, bc it is rude to host your own, then it is fine to have these parties.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Welcome!!!!

    Congrats on finding love with each other again. As you mentioned, it rare!

    I agree with what @photokitty said above. You should invite in circles. The only way inviting some of the cousins and not all would be if you had 2-3 that are a part of your every day life, almost like a sibiling, and the others were cousins you haven't seen since your first wedding, 

    I also agree with the comment about the church. It sounds like maybe you aren't looking to do a church wedding this time around, but if you are, I recommend looking into the annulment process ASAP. It can take a year to get them through the wickets and you may run into some issues because you are re-marrying the same person. 

    We'll definitely need a bit more info about the parties. It's considered a breach of etiquette to host your own pre-wedding parties and you should only invite those you will be inviting to the wedding. If you want others there that aren't getting a wedding invite, then the party has to be just that- a party, with no mention of anything wedding related at all. 

     







  • Yes, we are definitely not looking at a church wedding this time around.  We are thinking a laid back, outdoors type wedding. Thanks for the advice on the cousins.  I guess we will cut them all off the list, and the couple we talk to the most will just have to understand.  Because our friends take up 40 spots on the list, and they weren't at the first one so they are the most important to us (along with parents, aunts, and uncles!)

    As far as the parties go, my MOH has already said she wanted to host a shower and bachelorette.  I told her I would rather it just be like a gathering of friends. Since we did the whole registry thing last time and still have all the nice things, there is really nothing we need.  So we decided to do a them of "Whiskey and Wine" because that is what he and I drink.  So if people feel like they want to bring something, they can bring whiskey or wine!

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