Crazy wants. (Apparently this is a rant, haha....)

hellosweetie1015 · September 2014

I'm coming up quickly on my "Yay one year til the wedding!" date. Which is awesome, because we started out with 17 months and I have no idea where the other five months have gone. But even though I know those five months have flown by, and I know the other 12 will go just as fast if not faster, I keep thinking how nice it would be to just go ahead and get married. Like, not TOMORROW, but... I dunno, November or early December.

Which is crazy. I mean, if I cut my plan time down from a year to 1-2 months, I would very quickly end up in the loony bin with Bugs and Daffy. And *I* was the one who said fall of 15 - in March, FI asked when I would like to be married, and I said fall was my favorite season, but that fall 2014 felt WAY too soon for me. And it does still feel soon, but even so it's like, why are we waiting?

So I guess I just feel really a little off my rocker thanks to my confuddlement.

Did any of y'all have feelings like that? I mean, I know the "I'm ready to get this over with" thoughts happen, but it's not even that. I mean, I'm not even actively planning yet (although I probably should be).

larrygaga · September 2014

I had a two year engagement that i cut down 7 months because I was sick of waiting. It's busy but it gives me peace of mind to not dwell on everything. If that makes sense.

Inkdancer · September 2014

Even with a 2.5 year engagement, I still found myself running around at the last minute. Take your time, it will be okay.

birdybride2014 · September 2014

Once we're married we'll have been engaged for a year and a half. Those first 6 months were the worst, once we hit the year mark and I really started getting in the grind of planning I realized how grateful I was for the extra time I had.

I can't imagine planning a wedding in less than a year, obviously I believe other people CAN do it, but for me it helped having the extra time.

ashley8918 · September 2014

I only had (will have had) a 7 month engagement, and some days I desperately wish that I would have extended it a bit. I have 3 weeks to go and I am LOSING IT.

falsara · September 2014

Op, I totally understand there are definitely days where I think: I could move it up to this coming May. But we've also been engaged since March of 2013 I just want to be married already. I honestly only started planning recently, and only this far out because I'm OOT from the wedding by 5 hours, and with school and work I have to really plan ahead for my planning.

steph861 · September 2014

The only time I seriously considered it was when my grandmother was in the hospital last year. My thinking was that if for some reason she took a turn for the worse, I would seriously consider getting married in her hospital room just so she could be there for it. Unfortunately, her condition deteriorated too quickly for that to even be a possibility.

l9i · September 2014

I wish I could have cut our engagment down drastically. We were engaged almost two years. I however needed to finish school first due to the fact I'd lose free tuition if I got married because then I'd no longer be classified as a dependent. If it weren't for that we would have done an engagement less than a year.

hellosweetie1015 · September 2014

See, the length of our engagement isn't a thing for me. I wanted a long engagement because the trappings take so much time. My thing is, I just don't see why we're waiting to pull the trappings together.

Neither of us want a huge ceremony. Our parents, my grandmothers, my siblings, our two best friends, his best friend's parents, and the main part of his extended family comes to about 25 people total including plus ones, and that's the only people we really have to have there. My extended family is a bunch of drama llamas and I don't want them there.

And since we're having such a small ceremony, a full dinner/dancing/blowout reception really doesn't make any sense, which is when all the big major trappings really come into play. I mean, a DJ, full bar service, photo booth, flowers, lots of decorations, favors, all of that stuff - full-blown reception stuff, which feels like it would just be wasted money on something the size we're looking at.

I dunno, it's like, I know what I want, and can put my finger right on it, but I can't really explain it. I thought about a beach wedding and then at-home celebration thing - except drama llama crap with my mom's family popped up with something very similar a couple of weeks ago, so that idea is now COMPLETELY off the table. The tailgate idea sounds great - except the tiered reception concept popped up in my head and I don't want to hurt people's feelings, so I'm second guessing. If I get married here where my family is from, family politics come into play about "well, why weren't we invited?" and I'm not subjecting my mom to that shit. (Well. Frankly that's likely anyway but IDGAF.)

And, I mean, at the end of the day we could do a courthouse ceremony and then have a party at one of our parents' house with barbecue or pizza next week if the extended family could make it (well... and if we could get our outdoor living area put together). It would be simple, yes, but it could be easily done and quite pretty. But I feel like that would disappoint our parents. None of them would say anything, but FI is an only child. His mom only gets this one wedding. I feel like if we don't do something more interesting than a courthouse ceremony, she'll be missing out.

I guess I really just feel like this:

because I don't see the point in waiting, for us, but I know we have to for everyone else.

ETA sorry that turned into more than I thought it would. I guess I should relabel this as a useless rant, haha....

DanikaMarie0227 · September 2014

I feel pretty much the exact same way! Friday will be our one-year-until-we-get-married date! Part of me thinks: "One year...that's so long!" and the other part thinks "Good thing you've still got a year to get stuff done." I think I just want to hurry up and be married because I get excited whenever I think about it actually happening. Although, there's also the fact that we need to pay for it - so the year is a bit necessary. LOL

flyingfoxes · September 2014

16 months will be our overall engagement. Right now I think we're about 6.5 months out, and I totally just want the day to get here! We still have a few big things to iron out (um - food and booze), but I really just want the day to get here already.

Kauris · September 2014

We did the opposite, we were planning our wedding for Mar. 2014, but FI wanted more time since his father had just passed away.

smgold6 · September 2014

We will have a 21 month engagement by the time we get married on Saturday and I am so thankful for the extra time we gave ourselves as I haven't been very stressed at all.

ShellD13 · September 2014

We had a 11 month engagement but the venue we wanted for our outdoor ceremony didn't open their calendar for bookings until January 1 of the year of your event. So we were really limited in how much we could do before we submitted our reservation request and it was approved (the following week) so it would be more realistic to say our engagement was only 6 months long. But we also had a very small ceremony with only 12 of our closest family members so there wasn't a lot to do anyways.

erinlin25 · September 2014

every one is different. I had a 10 month engagement and it was perfect--for me. At first I thought "am I crazy for doing this so fast," but I set a timeline, did one thing at a time, and a lot of times I found myself with nothing to do. I took advantage of the down time and made sure I did not overwhelm myself with decisions and tasks. I enjoyed the whole process and could not imagine having to wait any longer.

This can all depend on where you are in life though. We waited to get engaged until we were in the place to plan a wedding. We knew we were going to get engaged a least a year prior, but having just started a business at the time we knew we were not financially ready to even plan a wedding, so H waited to propose. Plus starting the business meant me moving 4 hours away to be with him (we were living together in my hometown, where we met. He relocated back to his hometown when the business opportunity came his way). We knew a lot could change in that year and am glad I did not move and become a business partner just "because we were engaged." I was able to move and be sure I liked the new life and career choice. I moved knowing if this works, we will get engaged, and luckily everything fell into place. The day he proposed I knew I would marry him tomorrow if I could, so waiting 10 more months was torture!

IrishPirate60 · September 2014

@CaitTDid23‌ you know, with as small a group as you have, you could exchange your vows in the banquet room of a nice restaurant with a local JOP and treat everyone to dinner. Nice and cozy, everyone has room and time to talk--what's not to like?

anjemon · September 2014

I had this very issue. Originally, I wanted to wait 15 months to get married, because I thought a Halloween wedding would be super fun. But it wasn't very long before I decided that I couldn't deal with waiting that long.

FI and I are ready to start our lives together, so I moved my date up (before I had booked anything). Now I have a lot more planning to deal with much more quickly. And sometimes I wish I wasn't so pressed for time, but overall I'm glad with our choice of date.

raissyrais · September 2014

We got engaged in September 2012 and won't be married until January 2015. I have no idea where the time went. Don't worry it's gonna go by so fast. Take that time to save extra money for a super honeymoon or whatever lavish things you'd like for the wedding. Once married you'll have forever

But enjoy those few engagement months that you have left. It'll roll down the hill without you even realising.

hellosweetie1015 · September 2014

IrishPirate60 said:

@CaitTDid23‌ you know, with as small a group as you have, you could exchange your vows in the banquet room of a nice restaurant with a local JOP and treat everyone to dinner. Nice and cozy, everyone has room and time to talk--what's not to like?

This is something we've actually thought and talked about. The issue is that FI doesn't want to get married where he works, which I can TOTALLY understand except he works in the only nice restaurant in our area, haha. I'm putting money back to go to the nearest big city for his bday in November, though, and maybe we'll find somewhere awesome.

Crazy wants. (Apparently this is a rant, haha....)

Re: Crazy wants. (Apparently this is a rant, haha....)

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