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Invites and Paper

Wedding Weekend Wording

We are having an informal ceremony on a Friday night (7 pm) with drinks and dessert to follow at a house on a lake. But then we plan to invite everyone back on Saturday for a day of boating, games, a cookout, etc. We are tentatively thinking we might go to a brewery with our guests who may be able to come in a day early on Thursday night (we're getting married in July and know a lot of teachers who won't have to take time off work), and maybe a send-off breakfast on Sunday morning. 
I want to be able to tell people this, but our wedding invitation would be a book if I wrote everything. Is it sufficient just to send the invitation for the wedding and tell them to refer to our wedding website for more information so they will know about the weekend plans? Should I word the invitation as a "wedding weekend" instead of exchanging vows or other more traditional wording for a wedding?

Re: Wedding Weekend Wording

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We are having an informal ceremony on a Friday night (7 pm) with drinks and dessert to follow at a house on a lake. But then we plan to invite everyone back on Saturday for a day of boating, games, a cookout, etc. We are tentatively thinking we might go to a brewery with our guests who may be able to come in a day early on Thursday night (we're getting married in July and know a lot of teachers who won't have to take time off work), and maybe a send-off breakfast on Sunday morning. 
    I want to be able to tell people this, but our wedding invitation would be a book if I wrote everything. Is it sufficient just to send the invitation for the wedding and tell them to refer to our wedding website for more information so they will know about the weekend plans? Should I word the invitation as a "wedding weekend" instead of exchanging vows or other more traditional wording for a wedding?
    You should send an invitation to the actual wedding.  If it's at 7:00, you need to serve dinner.  You can push it back to 8:30 if you only want to serve dessert.

    If you're hosting the other events, you can mention them in an insert or on the website.  If you're expecting people to foot their own bill for these things, spread them by word of mouth.
    CMGragainSTARMOON44weddingcactus
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited September 2014
    You get one day - not a whole weekend.  Many of your guests might decide to attend your wedding on Friday, and then leave. 
    I would send a traditional invitation for Friday.  MyNameIsNot is correct.  If your wedding is at 7:00PM, you should serve dinner, even if it is only hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill.
    Where are your guests supposed to spend the night?  If you are hosting (paying for) other activities, you could enclose an insert, but these other activities are not part of your wedding.  You could call it a family gathering.  If you are not hosting Saturday's activities, then you shouldn't be the person who is inviting people to them.  Perhaps your parents could issue these invitations separately.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    You get one day - not a whole weekend.  Many of your guests might decide to attend your wedding on Friday, and then leave. 
    I would send a traditional invitation for Friday.  MyNameIsNot is correct.  If your wedding is at 7:00PM, you should serve dinner, even if it is only hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill.
    Where are your guests supposed to spend the night?  If you are hosting (paying for) other activities, you could enclose an insert, but these other activities are not part of your wedding.  You could call it a family gathering.  If you are not hosting Saturday's activities, then you shouldn't be the person who is inviting people to them.  Perhaps your parents could issue these invitations separately.
    You are correct. These activities are not part of my wedding, and we have no intention for them to be. 
    Neither one of us want a whole weekend (or an entire evening, even) of attention and we do not intend to make it a "part" of our wedding. Half the guests will be traveling, and we want a very brief and casual ceremony. But to make it "worth their trip" and, more importantly, because we want to spend quality time with our closest friends and family WITHOUT it being "our" day, we just want to invite people over for a day on the lake to hang out. Nothing fancy, just some good quality time together.
    We are hosting all events for the weekend. My parents have both passed away and his parents are elderly and not able to help financially. It will be my fiancé and I footing the bill for everything. We have no intention of making any event other than the actual wedding about us; we want to be able to spend time with the people we don't see that often and those that are most important to us. And we know they'll be traveling, and we don't want to make them foot the bill for anything other than their accommodations (which will be in a hotel a few miles down the road). 
    Thanks for your input.
  • We are having an informal ceremony on a Friday night (7 pm) with drinks and dessert to follow at a house on a lake. But then we plan to invite everyone back on Saturday for a day of boating, games, a cookout, etc. We are tentatively thinking we might go to a brewery with our guests who may be able to come in a day early on Thursday night (we're getting married in July and know a lot of teachers who won't have to take time off work), and maybe a send-off breakfast on Sunday morning. 
    I want to be able to tell people this, but our wedding invitation would be a book if I wrote everything. Is it sufficient just to send the invitation for the wedding and tell them to refer to our wedding website for more information so they will know about the weekend plans? Should I word the invitation as a "wedding weekend" instead of exchanging vows or other more traditional wording for a wedding?
    You should send an invitation to the actual wedding.  If it's at 7:00, you need to serve dinner.  You can push it back to 8:30 if you only want to serve dessert.

    If you're hosting the other events, you can mention them in an insert or on the website.  If you're expecting people to foot their own bill for these things, spread them by word of mouth.
    Would a 7:30 or 8:00 ceremony be okay for a drinks and dessert reception? I'd love for my 84 year old grandfather to be involved in the ceremony, but he goes to bed at about 8:30 :) 
  • OP, why not have your wedding on Saturday, and combine it with the day on the lake?
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    STARMOON44
  • CMGragain said:
    OP, why not have your wedding on Saturday, and combine it with the day on the lake?
    By having our wedding on Saturday and then combining it with the day on the lake, wouldn't that make the entire day about us? Wouldn't that make the entire day our wedding? We'd both really hate that. We don't want the weekend to be about us. We want it to be about celebrating love and friendship. We are just using the excuse of a wedding ceremony to get everyone together, I suppose ;)
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    OP, why not have your wedding on Saturday, and combine it with the day on the lake?
    By having our wedding on Saturday and then combining it with the day on the lake, wouldn't that make the entire day about us? Wouldn't that make the entire day our wedding? We'd both really hate that. We don't want the weekend to be about us. We want it to be about celebrating love and friendship. We are just using the excuse of a wedding ceremony to get everyone together, I suppose ;)

    I don't get this. You don't want to make it about you, but you want a whole weekend of festivities?
    STARMOON44
  • CMGragain said:
    OP, why not have your wedding on Saturday, and combine it with the day on the lake?
    By having our wedding on Saturday and then combining it with the day on the lake, wouldn't that make the entire day about us? Wouldn't that make the entire day our wedding? We'd both really hate that. We don't want the weekend to be about us. We want it to be about celebrating love and friendship. We are just using the excuse of a wedding ceremony to get everyone together, I suppose ;)

    I don't get this. You don't want to make it about you, but you want a whole weekend of festivities?
    A whole weekend of festivities that aren't about us, yes. Honestly, we were just going to elope until I realized I would regret not having these people there to celebrate with. 
    Have you ever had a dinner party? Ever invited a bunch of people over for a game night? You don't do it because you want that evening to about you, you do it because you want to spend time with those people. If the lake weren't 8 hours away from most of the guests, I'd invite them over all the time to just hang out and catch up :) But since that's not feasible, we wanted to invite them to stay longer over the weekend and spend time in a beautiful place having tons of fun. I just want to be spend quality time with the people that are most important to us, and not have it be our wedding. But this event may be the only time- ever- that we will all be in the same place like that. 
    biggrouch
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:
    You get one day - not a whole weekend.  Many of your guests might decide to attend your wedding on Friday, and then leave. 
    I would send a traditional invitation for Friday.  MyNameIsNot is correct.  If your wedding is at 7:00PM, you should serve dinner, even if it is only hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill.
    Where are your guests supposed to spend the night?  If you are hosting (paying for) other activities, you could enclose an insert, but these other activities are not part of your wedding.  You could call it a family gathering.  If you are not hosting Saturday's activities, then you shouldn't be the person who is inviting people to them.  Perhaps your parents could issue these invitations separately.
    You are correct. These activities are not part of my wedding, and we have no intention for them to be. 
    Neither one of us want a whole weekend (or an entire evening, even) of attention and we do not intend to make it a "part" of our wedding. Half the guests will be traveling, and we want a very brief and casual ceremony. But to make it "worth their trip" and, more importantly, because we want to spend quality time with our closest friends and family WITHOUT it being "our" day, we just want to invite people over for a day on the lake to hang out. Nothing fancy, just some good quality time together.
    We are hosting all events for the weekend. My parents have both passed away and his parents are elderly and not able to help financially. It will be my fiancé and I footing the bill for everything. We have no intention of making any event other than the actual wedding about us; we want to be able to spend time with the people we don't see that often and those that are most important to us. And we know they'll be traveling, and we don't want to make them foot the bill for anything other than their accommodations (which will be in a hotel a few miles down the road). 
    Thanks for your input.
    Whether or not parents help financially is none of the guests' business and doesn't factor into how invitations are worded.

    Beyond that, I'd send one invitation to the wedding and put the other information on an insert.
  • Half the guests will be traveling, and we want a very brief and casual ceremony. But to make it "worth their trip" and, more importantly, because we want to spend quality time with our closest friends and family WITHOUT it being "our" day, we just want to invite people over for a day on the lake to hang out. Nothing fancy, just some good quality time together.
    We are hosting all events for the weekend.



    For what it's worth, I love the idea (whether or not it's proper etiquette).  Due to some job developments, we decided to move our wedding up 6 months to the weekend before Christmas. It put a crimp in the holiday plans of our family attending and we made arrangements to cover many of the hotel rooms (it's a small crowd lol), provide guests with activities the next day (if they desire) and a "bon voyage" breakfast when everyone is leaving later that week.  The breakfast started out as "thank you for whoever watches my son while we honeymoon for a few days" and now about half the folks are staying to attend. Since we're all military and spread out all over the country this is such a rare treat!

    I think it's wonderful that you will be able to host everyone for a fun day on the lake (though I, personally, would rather be off alone w/my man and let THEM party on the lake haha) and I certainly wouldn't want to have a big lake bash combined with my wedding day.  I'd want to be fresh and cute and, besides, if my girlfriends have to choose between their turn at skiing and my wedding I might lose (j/k). I hope all goes well for you.

    As to the original question: as to what I've read on this site it seems like the most accepted route is to invite people to the wedding itself on the invitation and then include an insert with activities you are hosting.  I think your website can include even more info.  Best to you!
    image
    weddingcactus
  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2014


    CMGragain said:

    OP, why not have your wedding on Saturday, and combine it with the day on the lake?

    By having our wedding on Saturday and then combining it with the day on the lake, wouldn't that make the entire day about us? Wouldn't that make the entire day our wedding? We'd both really hate that. We don't want the weekend to be about us. We want it to be about celebrating love and friendship. We are just using the excuse of a wedding ceremony to get everyone together, I suppose ;)

    Oh get a grip! A whole weekend celebration of love and friendship? Srsly?!? Everyone there will consider this a weekend long wedding. Have your ceremony Sat at 11:30, followed by your reception, to include a cook out, boating, and whatever else people want to do at the lake. Completely fine, let's grandpa attend, appropriately hosted.

    This is the wedding you're insisting on having on July 4th because it's your favorite day even though it means taking over everyone's holiday and half your guest list will have to travel right? May as well at least have it during the day you want. Friday night is going to mean they all need to leave their homes even earlier and if you have it at 7 you must serve a meal.
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We have people over all the time. But when you do something like that in conjunction with your wedding, it can off that way. I have some very dear friends who live in another state. They extended their weekend and came over to our house the day after the wedding for a Super Bowl party (we got married Super Bowl weekend). We aren't going to try to say that the Super Bowl party wasn't a continuation of the wedding festivities, because it was. We didn't make invitations to the Super Bowl party, nor did we include it in the wedding invite. We just communicated it via Facebook.
    STARMOON44
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited September 2014
    CMGragain said:
    OP, why not have your wedding on Saturday, and combine it with the day on the lake?
    By having our wedding on Saturday and then combining it with the day on the lake, wouldn't that make the entire day about us? Wouldn't that make the entire day our wedding? We'd both really hate that. We don't want the weekend to be about us. We want it to be about celebrating love and friendship. We are just using the excuse of a wedding ceremony to get everyone together, I suppose ;)

    No matter what kind of wedding you have, the ceremony is about you and your groom, the reception is about showing hospitality to your guests. I know the wedding industry has convinced brides of today that the whole day is about them, but the reason for having a reception is to thank your guests for coming.

    CMGragain's suggestion makes perfect sense. Have your casual wedding and afternoon bbq and cookout on the lake on Saturday. Grandpa gets to enjoy the day visiting with family and you don't have to worry about getting him to bed for 8:30 : ) You could go to the brewery the night before for a relaxing evening with those who arrive early. No one will have to rush around Friday to make your ceremony.

    Of course, that was just a suggestion. Whatever you decide to do, send an invitation for the ceremony and reception. Enclose a card referring everyone to your website for information on the weekend activities. If you have a lot of older relatives that don't have access to the internet, you should have simple inserts made with time and location of your other activities.


                       
    CMGragain
  • There is nothing wrong with having a Saturday morning ceremony followed by an afternoon reception at the lake.  This is no different than having a ceremony followed by a traditional, indoor reception.  You could change out of your wedding clothes and have a great time at the lake with your guests.  You provide the food and drink, of course.
    My sister was married in a city park shelter.  They had a pig roast, potato salad and coleslaw on picnic tables with beer and sodas in a cooler.  The kids ran around and played in the park.  They guys played softball.  The wedding cake was a sheet cake from the grocery store.  People still talk about how much fun they had at that wedding.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    There is nothing wrong with having a Saturday morning ceremony followed by an afternoon reception at the lake.  This is no different than having a ceremony followed by a traditional, indoor reception.  You could change out of your wedding clothes and have a great time at the lake with your guests.  You provide the food and drink, of course.
    My sister was married in a city park shelter.  They had a pig roast, potato salad and coleslaw on picnic tables with beer and sodas in a cooler.  The kids ran around and played in the park.  They guys played softball.  The wedding cake was a sheet cake from the grocery store.  People still talk about how much fun they had at that wedding.
    I'll keep that in mind. Thanks!
    CMGragain
  • CMGragain said:
    OP, why not have your wedding on Saturday, and combine it with the day on the lake?
    By having our wedding on Saturday and then combining it with the day on the lake, wouldn't that make the entire day about us? Wouldn't that make the entire day our wedding? We'd both really hate that. We don't want the weekend to be about us. We want it to be about celebrating love and friendship. We are just using the excuse of a wedding ceremony to get everyone together, I suppose ;)
    Oh get a grip! A whole weekend celebration of love and friendship? Srsly?!? Everyone there will consider this a weekend long wedding. Have your ceremony Sat at 11:30, followed by your reception, to include a cook out, boating, and whatever else people want to do at the lake. Completely fine, let's grandpa attend, appropriately hosted. This is the wedding you're insisting on having on July 4th because it's your favorite day even though it means taking over everyone's holiday and half your guest list will have to travel right? May as well at least have it during the day you want. Friday night is going to mean they all need to leave their homes even earlier and if you have it at 7 you must serve a meal.
    Oh, Starmoon. I'm not surprised :) Honestly, I don't understand the snark and rudeness. It's so unnecessary and, to be frank, immature. I find that each time I have a question, I end up defending my wedding. I appreciate when, if I am breeching etiquette in some way, knotties give me constructive and tactful feedback. I find that helpful. But being rude for the sake of being rude? I don't get it. I won't apologize if my wedding is nontraditional and goes outside the norm. There is nothing wrong that. And I certainly won't apologize if I don't have my wedding the way you want me to. But really, do any of us getting anything out of being rude to strangers on the internet?

    For the record (and not that I need to justify anything to you) I am not having my wedding on the 4th of July. We moved the date because, of all things, the groom had a conflict that weekend. Go figure :) So no, I am not taking over anyone's holiday. 

    I simply had a question about the invitation process. My question has been answered, and I appreciate the feedback from everyone. But I've learned my lesson. There is more negativity on this site than positivity. Instead of being supportive and tactful, people choose to be the opposite. Just because you have the right to say and do anything you want, doesn't mean you should say and do anything you want. I teach my teenage students that; it's a shame some adults haven't learned the same lesson.

    Thank you for those knotties who have been helpful. 
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    Most of the comments in this thread were positive. If you don't like the negativity, don't add to it with passive-aggressive comments.

                       
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    We are having an informal ceremony on a Friday night (7 pm) with drinks and dessert to follow at a house on a lake. But then we plan to invite everyone back on Saturday for a day of boating, games, a cookout, etc. We are tentatively thinking we might go to a brewery with our guests who may be able to come in a day early on Thursday night (we're getting married in July and know a lot of teachers who won't have to take time off work), and maybe a send-off breakfast on Sunday morning. 
    I want to be able to tell people this, but our wedding invitation would be a book if I wrote everything. Is it sufficient just to send the invitation for the wedding and tell them to refer to our wedding website for more information so they will know about the weekend plans? Should I word the invitation as a "wedding weekend" instead of exchanging vows or other more traditional wording for a wedding?
    You should send an invitation to the actual wedding.  If it's at 7:00, you need to serve dinner.  You can push it back to 8:30 if you only want to serve dessert.

    If you're hosting the other events, you can mention them in an insert or on the website.  If you're expecting people to foot their own bill for these things, spread them by word of mouth.
    Would a 7:30 or 8:00 ceremony be okay for a drinks and dessert reception? I'd love for my 84 year old grandfather to be involved in the ceremony, but he goes to bed at about 8:30 :) 
    If you're going to span meal time, you need to serve a meal.  Dinner is anytime between 6-8 on Friday night.  If you want to start earlier, you need to serve a meal.

    I agree with PPs that it would make more sense to just do the wedding on Saturday at the lake.  You could still host desserts on Friday evening for guests that want to come to another event.

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