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Receiving gifts before the wedding.

ElcaBElcaB member
2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Am I correct in thinking that we open wedding gifts we receive prior to the wedding but do not use them until after? 

And, stemming from that, do we write the thank-you immediately or does that wait until after the wedding as well?
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Re: Receiving gifts before the wedding.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited September 2014
    Yes to both.  But really I used almost all of my wedding/shower gifts prior to the wedding because I was 200% sure that the wedding was not going to be canceled.

    Edited to clarify - yes open the gift now and yes write the TY note now

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  • sarahuflsarahufl member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    You are correct. Open the outside package so you know what it is but leave the gift in the original packaging.

    Write a thank you note right away and set it aside to use later.
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  • dinnerparty3dinnerparty3 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    Personally, I wrote and sent TY cards soon after receiving any gifts given prior to the wedding. I wanted the gift givers to know that their gift was received and very much appreciated. You'll have a ton of TYs to send after the wedding, it will make it easier for you to get these written and sent now.

    The question of opening the gifts prior to the wedding is very interesting, it's something I've never thought about...I understand the logic, but the thought of my wedding not happening never crossed my mind so I didn't even think twice about opening and using the gifts. I have never heard about that etiquette of waiting to use the gifts (although it makes sense).
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  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    We opened the gifts and send thank yous immediately. However, we didn't use any of them until after the wedding.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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  • goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I was in the same scenario.  Yes, you can open them, yes send a thank you ASAP.  I am not using gifts before the wedding.
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  • melbensomelbenso member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer

    sarahufl said:
    You are correct. Open the outside package so you know what it is but leave the gift in the original packaging.
    If the item is breakable, I suggest opening the inside packaging too, just to make sure it isn't broken or damaged.

    And in all honesty, DH and I started using the everyday dishes his cousin got us the week before the wedding.  I guess it's a good thing we went through with it.  ;-)
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  • rsbloomrsbloom member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    We have been using the wedding gifts we've gotten, like a Keurig and other everyday items, because they are things we really wanted and use all the time.  Our place settings and towels, we're saving until after we get married.

    The etiquette is if the wedding is called off before it happens, you need to give the gifts back or have the money to able to replace them if you've already opened them.

    Also, I sent out the TY notes within a couple days of receiving them, so they know they arrived and are intact.


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  • bananasplit472001bananasplit472001 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    The etiquette states that if the wedding is canceled the items must be returned or given back in cash exactly what the giver gave.  It's so strange to me because most couple are moving in prior to the wedding and many have literally nothing to use.  For example my grandma decided she wanted to purchase us our dish sets plus some other things to get us started for our engagement.  So she did and we will be using them about 6 months before the wedding when we move in together as we will have nothing else.  My shower is a month and a half before my wedding and I probably won't be using any of those items as I already received everything that was important for my engagement or in the form of hand me downs.
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