Wednesday Weirdness

steph861 · September 2014

My co-worker just started playing tango music really loudly with his office door wide open. Definitely an entertaining start to the day. I've also seen this guy ballroom dancing by himself and sleeping, both with the door wide open. What weird things do your co-workers do?

slothiegal · September 2014

My co-worker was pounding her desk with her fists this morning, for about 3-4 seconds at a time, for about 40 seconds. Not saying words, just making weird noises and slamming her hands, like a monkey. Then she just went back to working on her computer. Cool.

beethery · September 2014

I work with my mom every day. Sometimes my dad comes in, but he's usually out in the field working on stuff.

When my mom gets frustrated with something, I hear her talking to herself on the other side of the cube wall. She does it in this weird hissy whisper voice. Kinda like Gollum.

One time, I got into the office after her. Walked in, set my stuff down and went down the hall to the bathroom. I was about to sit down in one of the stalls when I heard "I see you!" in this creepy-ass voice.

If I hadn't leaned down and seen her feet I would have boosted the fuck out of there and made a deal with myself to NEVER PEE THERE AGAIN.

My mom is weird.

penguin44 · September 2014

slothiegal said:

My co-worker was pounding her desk with her fists this morning, for about 3-4 seconds at a time, for about 40 seconds. Not saying words, just making weird noises and slamming her hands, like a monkey. Then she just went back to working on her computer. Cool.

My coworker also bangs on his desk. He likes to curse under his breath a lot too. I really wonder what could be so frustrating. We do not have a high stress job. The lady that sits in the cube next to him listens to her ipod a lot now.

steph861 · September 2014

slothiegal said:

My co-worker was pounding her desk with her fists this morning, for about 3-4 seconds at a time, for about 40 seconds. Not saying words, just making weird noises and slamming her hands, like a monkey. Then she just went back to working on her computer. Cool.

I'm trying so hard not to laugh out loud at this at work.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

All is quiet in my department today... the almost 50 year old man who has the Hunger Games Mockingjay whistle as his text tone, which he leaves turned up all throughout the day, is out on a business trip for the rest of the week! Please turn your ringer off at work!

My boss likes to watch videos of his twin girls ALL day. So I just hear his wife talking and random baby giggling. He also likes to act like he's the first person in the history of people to have two kids at once. He also partakes in the desk drumming/pounding, along with loud chewing which is the worst!

beethery · September 2014

My dad just called my mom to ask if we have fans here at the office.

Mom didn't hear him, so she kept going, "Vans? Cans? Hands? None of the other mechanics are here, if you need hands you're going to have to call somebody. SAMS? WHO IS SAM?"

I could hear my dad yelling over the phone, and then "Oh FANS! Hahaha, sorry I was eating my chips! Beethery, do we have fans here? Yes, we have two of them!"

Then I heard him over the phone, "OH MY FUCKING GOD. NEXT TIME I'LL JUST CALL BEETHERY. JESUS CHRIST."

climbingsingle · September 2014

One of the owners adds "-ski" or "-arooney" or "-doodle" to the end of everyone's names.

Seriously. I'm not kidding. He's 50.

gladyscf · September 2014

My boss had his vasectomy last Friday.

I'm so sick of hearing about his boys. Today I asked if they had fallen off yet cause it had been enough time that it should have happened by now.

My satisfaction was the look of horror on his face.

hellosweetie1015 · September 2014

msstaticfancypants said:

My boss had his vasectomy last Friday.

I'm so sick of hearing about his boys. Today I asked if they had fallen off yet cause it had been enough time that it should have happened by now.

My satisfaction was the look of horror on his face.

Ew.

ETA: I mean that you have to hear about his "boys". That is not okay.

beethery · September 2014

msstaticfancypants said:

My boss had his vasectomy last Friday.

I'm so sick of hearing about his boys. Today I asked if they had fallen off yet cause it had been enough time that it should have happened by now.

My satisfaction was the look of horror on his face.

I agree with @CaitTDid23. Fervently tell this dude you do not fucking care about the status of his sack.

beachyone15 · September 2014

ClimbingBrideNY said:

One of the owners adds "-ski" or "-arooney" or "-doodle" to the end of everyone's names.

Seriously. I'm not kidding. He's 50.

SITB.

Ugh. I work with a 60-something year old man who says "wheeeeee!!!" everytime he walks into a room/office. Weirdo.

amelisha · September 2014

My coworkers are pretty normal, but on my walk to work this morning I saw a man wearing PLEATED SWEATPANTS. No words.

I suppose there's also a woman in my office who microwaves a Hungry Man frozen dinner for breakfast at 7:30 AM...

ShesSoCold · September 2014

I was just whining about my co-worker this morning!

I have a coworker who annoys me. Pretty much everything she does makes me want to throw my stapler at her.

Lately my biggest annoyance is that she says everything - EVERYTHING is "so weird!". This morningthe copier was making the same machine gun noise that it has ALWAYS made when it's low on paper. "What is that WEIRD noise?!". So I respond - "It's the same noise it's always made - it wants paper". "Oh. How WEIRD!". I called a carrier and they were in a monthly company-wide meeting. So I told her this in case she was going to be calling them. Her response is how very WEIRD this is. Um. No. It's not. It's a MONTHLY meeting. STFU

ShesSoCold · September 2014

Oh, I also appear to have an invisible phone. People talk to me CONSTANTLY when I'm on the phone. I want to get one of those gigantic gag-gift phones.

When we were kids and we'd try to talk to my mom while she was on the phone, she's scrunch her face up, snap twice and a little over the shoulder thumb point to tell us to GTFO. I wish I could do this to my boss.

smalfrie19 · September 2014

Its not so much weird.. there is a coworker i HATE.. like.. HATE.. she is bitchy and she acts because she did my job for 2 years its still hers and she brings her sick kid into work and she generally just drives me crazy.. i wish she would fall off the face of the planet.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

Oh gosh, thought of another. I work in our recruiting department, and we have a person who schedules the interviews, and he frequently has to say the word "accepted" (as in like "once they've accepted the invite").

Except he pronounces it ASS-epted. Drives us crazy.

steph861 · September 2014

amelisha said:

My coworkers are pretty normal, but on my walk to work this morning I saw a man wearing PLEATED SWEATPANTS. No words.

I suppose there's also a woman in my office who microwaves a Hungry Man frozen dinner for breakfast at 7:30 AM...

ShesSoCold · September 2014

AlisonM23 said:

Oh gosh, thought of another. I work in our recruiting department, and we have a person who schedules the interviews, and he frequently has to say the word "accepted" (as in like "once they've accepted the invite").

Except he pronounces it ASS-epted. Drives us crazy.

STUCK IN THE BOX

There are several people in my office who pronounce "picture" like "pitcher". Makes me stabby.

jdluvr06 · September 2014

I feel like the receptionist here at work would love to post stories about all of us on this thread. There is so much weird crap that goes on where I work. This morning when I came in ones my coworkers was chanting in Latin and slowly in a circle. He was trying to recreate a ritual done by some ancient cult.

steph861 · September 2014

jdluvr06 said:

I feel like the receptionist here at work would love to post stories about all of us on this thread. There is so much weird crap that goes on where I work. This morning when I came in ones my coworkers was chanting in Latin and slowly in a circle. He was trying to recreate a ritual done by some ancient cult.

...what field of work are you in?

jdluvr06 · September 2014

steph11814 said:

jdluvr06 said:

I feel like the receptionist here at work would love to post stories about all of us on this thread. There is so much weird crap that goes on where I work. This morning when I came in ones my coworkers was chanting in Latin and slowly in a circle. He was trying to recreate a ritual done by some ancient cult.

...what field of work are you in?

Anthropology

ashley8918 · September 2014

AlisonM23 said:

Oh gosh, thought of another. I work in our recruiting department, and we have a person who schedules the interviews, and he frequently has to say the word "accepted" (as in like "once they've accepted the invite").

Except he pronounces it ASS-epted. Drives us crazy.

GAH. I have a coworker that says "yes-tuh-day" and "calc-ee-lay-tur" (calculator). FUCKING STOP IT.

P.S. Dis I meantion that she majored in communications, and minored in english?

JCbride2015 · September 2014

ashley8918 said:

AlisonM23 said:

Oh gosh, thought of another. I work in our recruiting department, and we have a person who schedules the interviews, and he frequently has to say the word "accepted" (as in like "once they've accepted the invite").

Except he pronounces it ASS-epted. Drives us crazy.

GAH. I have a coworker that says "yes-tuh-day" and "calc-ee-lay-tur" (calculator). FUCKING STOP IT.

P.S. Dis I meantion that she majored in communications, and minored in english?

I feel stabby just reading this.

steph861 · September 2014

jdluvr06 said:

steph11814 said:

jdluvr06 said:

I feel like the receptionist here at work would love to post stories about all of us on this thread. There is so much weird crap that goes on where I work. This morning when I came in ones my coworkers was chanting in Latin and slowly in a circle. He was trying to recreate a ritual done by some ancient cult.

...what field of work are you in?

Anthropology

Ah okay. At least it (kind of) makes sense in context. I was secretly hoping you'd say you were in finance or business or something!

ashley8918 · September 2014

OH. I almost forgot: That same coworker eats hot chocolate powder disrectly out of the package in the break room because, she is "just using her spit instead of hot water. It's the same thing!"

EWEWEWEWEWEW.

gladyscf · September 2014

ashley8918 said:

OH. I almost forgot: That same coworker eats hot chocolate powder disrectly out of the package in the break room because, she is "just using her spit instead of hot water. It's the same thing!"

EWEWEWEWEWEW.

I don't recommend reading these while you answer the phone at your job. It causes you to pause, stare at your screen, say, "gah," remember that you have a phone in your hand, stumble out the name of your law office and try to focus on what the caller is saying.

It's not easy ladies!

levioosa · September 2014

ashley8918 said:

OH. I almost forgot: That same coworker eats hot chocolate powder disrectly out of the package in the break room because, she is "just using her spit instead of hot water. It's the same thing!"

EWEWEWEWEWEW.

To be honest, I love eating the powder, but it's because I love it concentrated. I make my hot chocolate with 2-3 packets (I know, I know, so unhealthy). But her reasoning just makes it gross.

steph861 · September 2014

Time2strtliving said:

ashley8918 said:

OH. I almost forgot: That same coworker eats hot chocolate powder disrectly out of the package in the break room because, she is "just using her spit instead of hot water. It's the same thing!"

EWEWEWEWEWEW.

To be honest, I love eating the powder, but it's because I love it concentrated. I make my hot chocolate with 2-3 packets (I know, I know, so unhealthy). But her reasoning just makes it gross.

Also, she's doing it in the break room in front of co-workers. I've been known to shovel cookie butter into my mouth straight from the jar, but I sure as hell wouldn't do that at work!

hellosweetie1015 · September 2014

The other receptionist in my office doesn't like me. I have to be extremely careful not to disagree with her/ask for help/ask her to do anything I can do on my own.

I'm not really sure why she doesn't like me. Even when I was completely new and didn't know anything, I did my best not to bother her - her attorneys don't do the same kind of law as my attorney does, so she can't really help me that much. It bothers me that she doesn't like me, since she's the only real "co-worker" I have. There's only five of us, and three of them are lawyer Bossmen.

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