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FFS (Major rant)

InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
As you might know, H and I had a dry wedding. Between alcoholism issues in both our families and the expense, we decided not to have any alcohol. We even planned a lunchtime wedding reception so people wouldn't miss the alcohol so much. We still provided a variety of soft drinks including a custom Italian soda bar, so there was plenty to drink.

It has now been confirmed to me by several sources that FIL and BIL brought two trunks full of beer and flasks, and were serving his side of the family alcohol out of their trunks starting immediately after the ceremony.

I am beyond angry. I can't believe that they couldn't stay sober until fucking 3 in the afternoon. When the issue came up before the wedding, I specifically asked my in-laws to discourage people from sneaking in drinks. I am so damn mad and I have no idea how to handle this.
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Re: FFS (Major rant)

  • There's not a whole lot you can do at this point. It already happened. How does your H feel about it? Is he really mad too? I don't blame you at all for being pissed off. That's super disrespectful and tacky of them. But if I were you, I'd take some time to cool down before you bring it up with them since -- like I said-- it already happened. 
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  • smalfrie19smalfrie19 Home of SB XLVIII Champs member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    there isn't really much that can be done now unfortunately. Are they fuckwads for doing it.. OH YESS. And I think if it ever gets brought up you can voice how hurt it made you. But I would not bring it up. 
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    Inkdancer
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    There's not a whole lot you can do at this point. It already happened. How does your H feel about it? Is he really mad too? I don't blame you at all for being pissed off. That's super disrespectful and tacky of them. But if I were you, I'd take some time to cool down before you bring it up with them since -- like I said-- it already happened. 

    H is disappointed but he is really bad at confrontation so he will never voice how upset he truly is.
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  • If you think it will help or be constructive to confront them about it, do it when you're clam. Simply say you know about it, and it hurts your feelings, and leave it at that. No need for a big dramatic blow-up. If you don't think it will matter to them (my family wouldn't care if I said whatever thoughtless bs they did hurt my feelings) I'd just leave it alone and vent to us as much as you need to. 
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    Inkdancer
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There isn't much you can do about that now. Feel free to tell them that you are disappointed in their behavior. Since you found out about this after the fact, what they were doing didn't seem to affect the wedding.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    lyndausvi said:
    There isn't much you can do about that now. Feel free to tell them that you are disappointed in their behavior. Since you found out about this after the fact, what they were doing didn't seem to affect the wedding.

    It actually did. When everyone was supposed to be at cocktail hour downstairs, most of them were in the parking lot. H and I were getting pics done so I wasn't able to check on why they were all outside. Also, FIL's toast to H was really weird and kind of rude, and I think it's because he was drunk.
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  • Inkdancer said:
    lyndausvi said:
    There isn't much you can do about that now. Feel free to tell them that you are disappointed in their behavior. Since you found out about this after the fact, what they were doing didn't seem to affect the wedding.

    It actually did. When everyone was supposed to be at cocktail hour downstairs, most of them were in the parking lot. H and I were getting pics done so I wasn't able to check on why they were all outside. Also, FIL's toast to H was really weird and kind of rude, and I think it's because he was drunk.


    Sorry, SIB. Now I'm annoyed for you. They sound extremely immature and selfish. I think H should speak up and say that their behavior was thoughtless and shitty, hurt your feelings, and they should start planning their apologies. That really rubs me the wrong way. jerks. 
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    InkdancerHaileyDancingbear
  • I feel like you can't have a cocktail hour without cocktails.....

    But I agree, there's really nothing you say constructively at this point that wouldn't sound whiny.  I'm sorry they were disrespectful and not appreciative of the reception you were throwing. 
  • photokittyphotokitty where I want to be mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    ASSHATS! I'd be pissed, but let it go bc you can't do anything to change the past. Pray for karma...
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

    Inkdancer
  • wandajune6wandajune6 Chicago-ish member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Assholes.

    I don't have any helpful advice but I'd be just as angry as you are. That's incredibly disrespectful.
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    Inkdancer
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    cafarrie said:
    I feel like you can't have a cocktail hour without cocktails.....

    But I agree, there's really nothing you say constructively at this point that wouldn't sound whiny.  I'm sorry they were disrespectful and not appreciative of the reception you were throwing. 
    I mean, probably you can't. But we had an hour between the ceremony and reception, during which we offered food and drink, so I'm not sure what else to call it.
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  • Inkdancer said:
    cafarrie said:
    I feel like you can't have a cocktail hour without cocktails.....

    But I agree, there's really nothing you say constructively at this point that wouldn't sound whiny.  I'm sorry they were disrespectful and not appreciative of the reception you were throwing. 
    I mean, probably you can't. But we had an hour between the ceremony and reception, during which we offered food and drink, so I'm not sure what else to call it.
    Mocktail hour! (Kidding, I'm all for calling it cocktail hour, even if it's a dry one)

    I'm sorry that people were so disrespectful.  It's incredibly hurtful.  However, people like this rarely "see the light" (aka- realize that they were being rude as fuck).  Give yourself time to cool down, and if you still feel like you want to say something to them, (consult with your H to see how he feels about it too) then say something.  I think talking to them would be more about giving yourself closure about the situation vs. helping them realize that they're jerks.
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    Inkdancer
  • Were they receptive to his request that they apologize?
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2014
    Inkdancer said:
    Apparently H was more upset than I realized... he actually contacted his father and brother this afternoon and asked them to apologize to me.

    I will keep him.
    :) You're a lucky girl because the love of your H is paramount.
    Inkdancerrajahmd
  • InkdancerInkdancer The Shire member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Were they receptive to his request that they apologize?
    No idea.
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