Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Pre-wedding Parties
Pre-wedding Parties
New Discussion

Is this Shower Beyond Help?

kath1985kath1985 member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Pre-wedding Parties
OK, so this is going to sound like a rant, and it is, but I also want some good advice. 

I am the MOH for my best friend, so of course am planning the shower. The other BMs and moms wanted to be involved too, but none have much money available to contribute. That's fine except that this is the only shower the bride is having and she is a flagrant extrovert which means she has to invite 50 of her closest friends and family (my fault for not putting a stop to that right away, but too late now).  So we have to feed and entertain an enormous amount of guests. The bride insisted on no bridal bingo, the rest of the planning committee decided that we should have no games, activities, or prizes of any kind (not a bad idea, but how do you entertain large amounts of people who may or may not know each other?). The only thing they liked was to have each guest tell how they know the bride while she opens their gift (the bride already knows and does anyone else really care?). There will also be an advice book for guests to sign. The food budget is incredibly cheap. 

In my mind, this equals three hours of forced chitchat with strangers while munching on those horrible veggie trays and deli trays with a side of nasty grocery store cake (am I the only one who thinks that kind of food is the pits?) and watching the bride open enormous stacks of gifts. (At least I think I put a stop to the crepe paper wedding bells.) 

Sigh....is this thing redeemable? Or am I just weird and people actually enjoy this? I guess in my mind a nice shower is a classy, intimate affair with delicious food and time spent blessing the bride-to-be, not a parade of unnecessary glassware the bride decided to register for plus forced "sharing." I hate to host yet another horrible shower, but I feel like I'm beating my head against an uncreative brick wall
Report Reply to Post

Re: Is this Shower Beyond Help?

  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Have invites gone out yet? If not try to et the guest list down.

    If it has, hope for declines? Upgrade the food a bit with the savings of less people?
    image



    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I mean really, all you can do is work with what you've been given. If the budget is small, and she knows a lot of people she wants to invite, then what you have planned is all you can do. I wouldn't worry about your feelings as far as a bridal shower is concerned, I would just make sure that everyone at the shower is hosted properly. Do I think bridal showers are somewhat awkward? Yes. Do I assume responsibility for that if I decide to host a shower? Yes. I see where you are coming from, but honestly you can only work with what you've been given.
    image
    Report Reply
  • perdonamiperdonami member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    No offense, but if I was the bride and I fell upon this post describing how you feel about the shower you generously decided to throw for me I would feel awful. Mainly because it seems like you really don't want to throw it. 

    Basically a shower is literally as it is described, a group of folks get together and "shower" the bride with gifts. 

    Personally, I hate bridal shower games and wish my aunt didn't insist on them as most of my guests kind of cringed when they were forced to play them. The games also kind of interrupted all the socializing as well. It was kind of like, oh I have to stop enjoying myself to play a game for some prize I won't care about. 

    I wouldn't worry so much about the games and the bride should be grateful for anything hosted; Even if all you can afford is cake and punch especially if she insists on such a large guestlist. Besides, You may be suprised by this shower and have a good time, despite the food offered is not your preference.
    Report Reply
  • kath1985kath1985 member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    OK, so now I'm feeling like a jerk. My biggest fear is that the bride and/or the guests will hate it and that I can't do anything about it. I have a sneaking suspicion that the bride was hoping for something elaborate based on little things she's said. But I guess I need to humble myself and let it be what it is. Thanks for your honesty, guys.
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Just about every adult party consists of standing or sitting around and making small talk with the other guests, aka "forced chitchat."

    If you're not into that, I wouldn't throw any parties.
    Report Reply
  • Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    A limited budget does not have to mean bad food. A hot buffet of different types of pasta and sauces, big bowl of salad and rolls is very enjoyable and so is a baked potato bar. You can get serving kits with sterno at Party City. Decor can be very classy with glass vases from Dollar Tree filled with baby's breath and Hydrangeas. Also, tea lights are also at Dollar Tree. As for the cake, if there is a Costco in your area, they happen to make a very good cake that is not out of the budget. There are games that can be played without making a spectacle of the guests. Fill a jar/wine bottle/glass with jelly beans in the coordinating colors and have people guess how many, leave a stack of recipe cards for guests to fill out, Go to Dollar Tree and buy the organza bags and different kinds of pot pourrie and let the ladies make their own take-aways.
    Report Reply
  • iloveotters2014iloveotters2014 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I hate games at bridal showers. They are so forced and are rarely fun.

    My idea of fun is chatting with friends and drinking wine - which is exactly what my bridal shower was :)

    Maybe wine will solve all problems?
    Report Reply
  • perdonamiperdonami member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    iloveotters2014 said:
    I hate games at bridal showers. They are so forced and are rarely fun.

    My idea of fun is chatting with friends and drinking wine - which is exactly what my bridal shower was :)

    Maybe wine will solve all problems?
    That is exactly how mine was too and admittedly I got slightly annoyed when I was pulled to stop the socializing to make my poor guests play silly games. 

    @kath1985 I wouldn't feel like a jerk and maybe I came off kind of rough. How about you express your concerns to the bride so she understands what you can afford to do for her shower and her expectations won't (and shouldn't) be too high. Maybe she will cut the guest list, of course assuming invitations haven't been sent yet.
    Report Reply
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    The hosts of the shower, not the bride, decide on the number of guests. So you should ask the bride to trim her list to however many guests you can afford to host. With the number of guests reduced, would you be able to host the shower in your home? If not, would one of the moms or other bms be willing to do that?

    Pick a theme for the refreshments: Ice cream sundae bar, tapas and sangria, appetizers, cheese and wine, or dessert and coffee, or tea and pastries (cookies, scones, mini muffins, cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches etc..). Get ideas from the other hosts. Each host should bring food for the table that goes with the theme. You could make the coffee,tea, punch or sangria and buy a cake and the paper products. The grocery stores, around here, make pretty good cake, but if yours doesn't, try a bakery. Ask the moms if they have serving dishes, table cloths etc...

    Skip the games. They are boring. The guests will watch the bride open her gifts and enjoy whatever refreshments are provided. They will entertain each other.

    This doesn't have to be hard as you're making it sound.



                       
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards