Etiquette

Maid of Honor

Hello,

I am the Maid of Honor for a July 2015 wedding and have a few questions. She has several bridesmaids who live out-of-state, so I want to be understanding of their need to arrange travel. How far ahead of time should I get in touch with them to narrow down the date of the bachelorette? The bride wants it to be anytime after Memorial Day 2015.


Thank you!

Re: Maid of Honor

  • An email.  Yay, we're all bridesmaids in Friend's wedding.  I know most of you live out of town, so I was wondering what might work for a bachelorette party?  I'd like to know your budgets and what dates would work for you.  Should we do a spa day of facials and massages, or dinner and dancing, or both?  Are any weekends completely out?  Would any of you be able to fly/drive in for a weekend between Memorial Day and the wedding?  Or would we have to do it on the Thursday before the wedding weekend in order to get the best attendance?  Let me know.
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby!
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member

    I think emailing/facebook messaging them about 4-6 months before would be fine.

     

    Also, OP, you may want to change your username to something other than your email address.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • HeatherKatHeatherKat the Frozen Tundra
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    PS- OP, page @KnotPorsha or a mod to change your user name :) 
    Amor vincet omnia.... par liones.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

    image
  • I would just send an email to everyone and say something like:

    "Looking forward to being in soandso's wedding with y'all....I'd love to plan a bachelorette for her for after Memorial Day. Does anyone want to co-host with me?"

    The worst things you can do with a bachelorette is have poor planning and ask people to subsidize the cost of a party into which they've had no input. Oh, and tell people what to wear. The last one I went to, the MOH made us all buy "Bride's Posse" tank tops. Woof. It's now my $10 house cleaning rag. 

    So in other words, if you want a party bus, you shouldn't just book it and then tell everyone "you owe me $X". You can email everyone and say "I was thinking about a party bus. If we all contribute, it'd be $Xpp. Let me know if you're interested." Don't hound people for money.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    adk19MGPlurkergirlBlue_Bird
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    I would just send an email to everyone and say something like:

    "Looking forward to being in soandso's wedding with y'all....I'd love to plan a bachelorette for her for after Memorial Day. Does anyone want to co-host with me?"

    The worst things you can do with a bachelorette is have poor planning and ask people to subsidize the cost of a party into which they've had no input. Oh, and tell people what to wear. The last one I went to, the MOH made us all buy "Bride's Posse" tank tops. Woof. It's now my $10 house cleaning rag. 

    So in other words, if you want a party bus, you shouldn't just book it and then tell everyone "you owe me $X". You can email everyone and say "I was thinking about a party bus. If we all contribute, it'd be $Xpp. Let me know if you're interested." Don't hound people for money.
    This.  

    Don't assume that everyone wants to throw in money.  It's totally voluntary, and they shouldn't feel like you're trying to invoice them.

    Also, with everyone being out of town, you have to be sensitive that not everyone will even be able to attend.  Travel can be expensive.
    Blue_Bird
  • I suspect that these grand bach parties might be one of the most secretly hated wedding related events. 

    "Oh, I have to travel for your wedding, AND I need to travel for a party?  Awesome!!  I would so much rather use my time and money for that than doing something on my own!!!"

    Someone on TK said something recently about bach parties that was along the lines of, "It's hyped up to be a wild raging weekend, and usually ends up being half boring and super expensive."  Totally paraphrasing and can't remember who said it, but they were right on!




    image
    Blue_BirdViczaesar
  • lc07lc07 Sunny Southern California
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member

    Hello,

    I am the Maid of Honor for a July 2015 wedding and have a few questions. She has several bridesmaids who live out-of-state, so I want to be understanding of their need to arrange travel. How far ahead of time should I get in touch with them to narrow down the date of the bachelorette? The bride wants it to be anytime after Memorial Day 2015.


    Thank you!

    Don't assume anyone will attend regardless of whether they are in state or out of state. The sooner you can nail down a date, the better, unless some of the attendees do not know their schedule in advance. I recommend contacting each of them privately and separately.
  • Omg I had no idea my username was my email!! Thanks
  • OP here with a new username....

    Thanks all! I am super travel/$ conscious, so I appreciate these ideas for how to be considerate of these details (the bridesmaids are all in very different financial situations so I want to be careful of that). Luckily we are able to use a family member's vacation house so hopefully that will ease the pain for those that do want to attend.

    I didn't even think to reach out individually first, so thanks for that.

    Any advice for how to navigate everyone's wildly varying input? Some girls want the crazy weekend while some are content to stay in with tons of wine and games :)



    sarawifenow
  • sarawifenowsarawifenow Denver, baby!
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    member
    lriles said:

    OP here with a new username....

    Thanks all! I am super travel/$ conscious, so I appreciate these ideas for how to be considerate of these details (the bridesmaids are all in very different financial situations so I want to be careful of that). Luckily we are able to use a family member's vacation house so hopefully that will ease the pain for those that do want to attend.

    I didn't even think to reach out individually first, so thanks for that.

    Any advice for how to navigate everyone's wildly varying input? Some girls want the crazy weekend while some are content to stay in with tons of wine and games :)


    I would maybe base the plans around the type of person the bride is. Is she wild and crazy normally? If so, go for more of a party vibe. More relaxed and laid back? Maybe a girl's night in with wine and mani/pedis would be fun.

     

    What is your friend like? Mayeb we can give some suggestions based off of that.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • When trying to figure out dates for my shower we did a doodle poll of dates. Easy to see when people are free.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards