An old friend of mine passed away last weekend, unexpectedly. His family had a private viewing before he was cremated, but a wake is scheduled for Saturday for his family and friends. Based on the location of the wake and the information I received about it, I believe this is intended to be more of a party to celebrate his life and a means for his friends and family to gather and reminisce. While I expect there to be some moments of sadness and memorials, I also expect there to be a decent amount of drinking based on the location and people attending.
When I got the information about the wake, I passed it on to a couple of out of town friends who also knew my friend who passed away. They live about a 2 hour drive from the city I live in, which is also where the wake is. One of my friends initially told me she would not be able to make it because she had to work early the next morning (the wake runs 6-10 p.m.). She later told me that she would come if our other friend was able to drive down with her - I assume so she could share driving and she could get some rest on the way home and get to work the next morning. Ok, fine.
This is where things start to get weird. She texted me this morning and told me she planned to bring her 15-year-old son, who doesn't really know our friend who passed away - he probably met him briefly when he was a toddler, but that is it. I reminded her that there would likely be a lot of drinking. She's decided to leave her son with her sister. Cool. Probably a good plan. Even if there isn't lots of drinking, the kid is going to be bored senseless.
What's really bothering me now, is that she has now texted that she is going to bring her boyfriend "because he needs a night away too." I responded "he needs a night away at a wake?" Her response, "no, a night away from home." I wanted to say, "this is a wake, not a birthday party," but I held my tongue. (Her boyfriend never met our friend. I understand her wanting moral support at a wake, except that that doesn't sound like her plan.). This is bothering me for two reasons: first and foremost, I'm not really happy that she is turning my friend's wake into a getaway with her boyfriend, and second, she is assuming that she is staying at my house, which would be fine if it was just her (and possibly our other friend) but now she is inviting her boyfriend who I have met three times to stay over without asking me if its ok. (It's not. We have a 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment - 5 adults staying is just too much.). And I'm not going to want to have some sort of party right after going to my friend's wake.
Am I out of line for being this upset by her behavior? If not, how do I address this with her?
