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RSVP return rate?

classyduckclassyduck member
100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
edited October 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
We sent out invitations with a pre-stamped and addressed RSVP card. All they had to do was write in their name, and meal preference.

Out of 78 invites sent out, we got 41 back (today was the RSVP BY date, I suspect a few more will trickle in). That's 53% of invites we sent out, we got an RSVP on. I have to say, I'm ... kind of appalled. What has happened to manners in this country? I mean... I'm really asking? What the hell? My mom is from Europe, and sometimes I think my perspective is skewed because of this, but damn. Americans are just rude, apparently.

Never mind the "are my children invited" and "I'm still looking for a plus one" that I didn't invite, and "I'm just going to bring my brother instead" substitutions, etc.

Yeesh. So anyway. What were your return rates?
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Re: RSVP return rate?

  • laceykeolaceykeo member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    This in no way answers your question, so I apologise for that.

    As a Brit, I grew up with the "Americans are generally rude" outlook.

    I've been to Florida and Iowa, and I have friends in Iowa, Virginia, Louisiana, Tennessee, Texas, South Carolina, Washington, California, Arizona, Minnesota, and Kentucky.

    As a Brit, I now have the outlook of "Brits are generally assholes and Americans are generally extremely pleasant".



    As far as I can tell, we over here are just as bad about sending back RSVPs, and whilst things like dollar dances and Jack and Jills are yet to make their way over, registry info with invites, cash bars and tiered receptions are pretty common.

    Don't feel too disheartened by your lack of RSVPs. You'll probably get a surge over the next couple days from people sending back ON the RSVP date, and people waiting until last minute for work schedules etc.
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My return rate was over 90% by the RSVP date. I guess I am lucky and have well mannered friends and family. Sorry you'll have to track folks down. That's never fun.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    We had a pretty decent return rate. Not sure what the percent was, but we only had to follow up with a handful of people on both sides. We split the list and figured it out in a couple days. 

    I'd wait a couple days and then start hunting people down. Annoying? Yup. But split the list with your FI and you shouldn't have too much to do.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • sarawifenowsarawifenow member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    We got about 95% of our RSVPs back by our RSVP date. Sorry, not all Americans are rude as you say.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • Wegl13Wegl13 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I have gotten 20% back in the first week since I sent out invitations! Okay granted, one of them was my friend that helped make the invitations, and I was one stamp down (41 invites) so she didn't get a stamp on her invite or her RSVP- I just handed it to her husband when he got home, they opened it, signed the RSVP, and handed it right back. The others I've gotten back so far are from siblings, grandparents, parents, and very close family friends that booked their hotel room 2 months ago (adorable). So we are having a really small wedding but I was SUPER excited about this- it has made checking mail the best thing EVER. Anyways our RSVP date isn't until November but I am pretty hopeful. Although my mom texted and asked if she HAD to send the RSVP back- I told her it had a stamp on it, it couldn't be that hard!
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  • grumbledoregrumbledore member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    We have 23 days to go until our RSVP date and have about half back already.

    Not all Americans are rude, so, boo to that.

    I doubt my side of the family will RSVP (but they also won't show up, so whatever).


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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Americans are no more rude than Canadians, Europeans, Asians, etc.  When I hear these statements it makes me think that Europeans are actually as snotty and pretentious as Americans supposedly claim they are.

    Today is my RSVP deadline and we have received 89.5% so far.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Our RSVP rate was for shit. In the end we were thrilled with the turn out to both our DW and AHR but man, I was at a total loss by the pure laziness of some people not being able to check a box and drop a pre-addressed, pre-stamped envelope in the mail. 

    We had one guest RSVP yes, then drop out last minute which was bizarre. And our AHR was mainly invites through a FB event and yet even then people couldn't seem to click a damn button. On a website we knew they were logging in to on the regular. Ugh.

    Having to track down other adults really pissed me off, as it did my H, and I think some relationships will definitely be forever effected. That sounds a little dramatic when I put it in writing but it's just how it is. Mom always said actions speak louder than words and as usual, she's right.

    I just cannot imagine for the life of me being invited to any type of event where people are trying to get a plan together and just not being able to be bothered to drop a damn card in the mail!!!! Apparently I'm still a little miffed. Ha!
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  • yogablossomyogablossom member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    There will also be the chance that people did send you their RSVP and it got lost in the mail.  I've had trouble with my mailing system up here in New Hampshire.

    My mother sent my fiance and I a couple of holiday cards and we literally never received them, then nearly 6 months later, my mom got them returned back to her (mind you, these were sent to us from Massachusetts!) There was NOTHING wrong with the address, so I got the cards from my mom, unopened and took them to my post office. All they could say was that they'd speak to our mail carrier. Also that same time frame, we never received a friend's save the date. It was SO frustrating.

    So, moral of the story: call people to affirm their attendance, just in case they have shitty mail carriers like we do up here :)

    (needless to say, I think we may have our RSVPs sent to my parents' house down in Mass...)
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  • birdybride2014birdybride2014 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    We are 15 days away from our due date and we've receieved less than half.  I'm feeling a little less than hopeful that we will get most of them...wahhhh
    image

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  • Cookie PusherCookie Pusher member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We only ended up having to track down less than a dozen RSVPs when our due date passed. We found out one had been lost in the mail, our 2 guests from other countries were just hemming and hawing about whether they were attending or not, and the rest just spaced out and didn't send them in. No big deal, it took us about an hour to get all their answers.
    ~*~*~*~*~

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  • heathertimsheathertims member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I had to chase people down for my RSVPs, but our timeline was very out of the ordinary. We invited everyone MONTHS before as we knew there were lots of out of towners, as in half were from 8 hours away, and we figured it would give them lots of time to make plans. W did no Save the dates. 
    We asked for RSVPs in the early summer and were married in sept.  I got lots at first and then closer to the rsvp date i had to chase everyone down. 
    I think people see the invite with the best intention of replying asap, and then, it gets left on the coffee table with the bills and the rest of life, to be deal with at another time. 
    Dont be offended, DO be prepared to do some recon! 
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  • dramamonkeydramamonkey member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    I had about 70% of my RSVPs by our date.... 

    and about 20% never responded at all (DH's family, but were assured by my MIL that none of them would be attending from way way out of state. 

    Only had to chase down 10%
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  • jenijoykjenijoyk member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    Ugh. We had about 80 percent at the due date. A few more trickled early the following week. We pestered the rest about 5 days after the due date passed. Most got back to us within an hour or two. One took several days (of just SILENCE - drove me f'ing batty). One took a week. One guy JUST responded last night and that was only after he emailed FI on a totally unrelated topic. And FI had to write back, "Great that you're in for the fantasy draft but ARE YOU COMING TO THE WEDDING?" So. Annoying. I. Can't. Take. It.
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  • classyduckclassyduck member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Ah well, I never said ALL Americans are rude -- obviously I got over half my RSVPs back -- but I suppose it wasn't nice of me to generalize, regardless.

    I'm surprised at the gamut of responses -- it seems like some of you had an experience very similar to mine, but others was much better. I have to say, many of the people who didn't RSVP really surprised me, in some cases it was the people who I thought would be MOST mindful of etiquette.
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I think the only two people I had to track down were bridesmaids ("Ohhhh you know I'm coming, I still need to RSVP?"  yes, you dingbat, I still need your meal choice.).
    Anniversary

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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We had about 95% respond by the due date.
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  • RosebubblyRosebubbly member
    500 Comments 100 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    My due date is about 20 days away and I have 40 of 70 still to receive . Not sweating yet...
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  • lc07lc07 member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We were only missing two families RSVPs by the due date. One of them, our main point of contact for the family, his father died the week before our RSVPs were due. We assumed they wouldn't be coming but marked their family down as a "yes" in our numbers just in case. I was NOT about to call and ask if they were attending our wedding that week. The other was a bridesmaid and her SO who I already knew were coming but didn't think RSVPing was necessary, clearly. 
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