Dear Prudie,
My 2-year-old son is enrolled in a day care program run by a woman who works from her home, along with two assistant teachers. The head teacher is very warm, and I’m confident that my son’s emotional needs are being met. However, the program is very informal: The kids basically spend all day playing independently (though there are the usual stories and songs, etc.) and aren’t actively taught new skills. My mother is extremely concerned that this lack of a formal child-development-oriented program is holding my son back. The way she describes it, it seems like all the other 2-year-olds she meets are debating current events and solving algebra problems, while my son sits around all day with a chew toy and a ribbon of drool hanging from his chin. My parents have offered to help cover the costs of the “fancier” day care in the area that I can’t afford, but they can’t afford it either! Should I be investing more in my son’s development? And if I’m doing the right thing, how do I get my mother to back off?