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Is it considered rude to ask about rehearsal dinner?

lizzzbeeelizzzbeee member
Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I will be a bridesmaid in a wedding next weekend. I will be traveling out of town for this wedding. So far, there's been no mention of a rehearsal or a rehearsal dinner. Is it rude to ask if there will be one? I don't mind either way but just want to know either way. Thanks!
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Re: Is it considered rude to ask about rehearsal dinner?

  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    If there's no rehearsal, there's probably not a rehearsal dinner. 

    I wouldn't ask directly, but you could hint at it by saying something like, "Hey Bride! So excited for next weekend. I'm getting in Friday at X time; does that work? Just wanted to make sure I'm there if you need your wedding party."
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  • esstee33esstee33 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I feel like you'd already have been notified of it if there was going to be a rehearsal, especially since you're OOT. I wouldn't sweat it, but I'd also do as @manateehugger suggested just to be sure. 
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  • Wegl13Wegl13 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    Me, I'd just be blunt. But I'm blunt, and play it off as "look so, I have no clue what is normal. So... Is there a rehearsal? Will I need to be there? Are we doing some sort of food thing after? I hear people do that, are you doing that? Just wanted to know so I could make plans and shit. Either way is cool. "
    I can also come off sounding like a stoner though.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Just ask what time you need to be where for the wedding and any other events.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I would ask.  I mean they are pretty standard in most circles and I'm assuming  1 or both of the couple are very close family or friends, no?








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • steph861steph861 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    I don't think there's any harm in asking if there's a rehearsal (I wouldn't ask about a dinner, specifically). If there's a dinner (even without a rehearsal), asking if you have to be anywhere the night before should do the trick.

    ETA: Could you contact any of the other BP members to find out if there's a dinner?
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  • SachaBeeSachaBee member
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I would probably phrase it as "Besides the wedding (of course), are there any other events I need to know about and be at?" 
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  • JellyBean52513JellyBean52513 member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer
    "Are you planning to do a rehearsal before the wedding? if so, when do you think it will take place so I can start planning my travel arrangements." Really, it's that simple and this isn't the least bit offensive inquiry. You have every right to know what is expected of you as a bridesmaid, as well as to know what your personal travel plans will need to accommodate
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Since rehersals are an expected thing generally, it would have been nice if the bride would have told you by this point, that yes there is a rehersal and here are the details or hey we're not going to worry about doing a rehersal so I'll see you Saturday at xxx location at x:xx time. Since you haven't been advised either way, I don't think it's rude to ask. Because if you assume there isn't one & you aren't there in time, the bride would might be mad. I would ask. For my wedding I sent out invites for the reheresal & dinner two weeks prior because I needed a head count for the resturant for dinner.

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would ask if a rehearsal was happening but not a RD.  Just ask your friend "hey are you having a rehearsal and if so do you need me there?" and see what she says.

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  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yep, just ask. No reason to beat around the bush.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    I would ask. 

    You're not saying "so, are you feeding me Friday night or what?" You're saying "I'm making travel plans and I want to ensure I'm there for all wedding related events."
    *********************************************************************************

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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I would ask too.  I didn't know until 12 hours before that I was supposed to be at a rehearsal AND that I was supposed to pay to stay in a cabin.  It's entirely possible that there isn't a rehearsal of course, but you should ask to be sure.  Is the bride generally unorganized? 


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