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RSVP Cancellation

cosenti7cosenti7 member
100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I just received an email from a friend who, due to financial reasons, has to change her RSVP and can no longer attend the wedding next week. I feel bad because she's not obligated to give a gift, but feels like she does in order to attend. How should I respond? I don't want to force her to come, since she's made up her mind but I would like her to know that we don't expect anything. We haven't given the count yet so it was nice of her to let us know, but how should I word my response? i'm torn.
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Re: RSVP Cancellation

  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    cosenti7 said:
    I just received an email from a friend who, due to financial reasons, has to change her RSVP and can no longer attend the wedding next week. I feel bad because she's not obligated to give a gift, but feels like she does in order to attend. How should I respond? I don't want to force her to come, since she's made up her mind but I would like her to know that we don't expect anything. We haven't given the count yet so it was nice of her to let us know, but how should I word my response? i'm torn.
    Just say "We're sorry you can't make it! We'll miss you." Don't mention anything about gifts - that only hints that you ARE expecting one, otherwise you wouldn't be thinking of it.

    Nobody is ever obligated to give a gift, whether they attend or not. Her financial situation is hers to manage as she sees fit, even if that includes declining a wedding. There could be lots of other things at play, like not having the money for an outfit or gas, that have nothing to do with whether she was going to give you a gift.
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    image
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  • cosenti7cosenti7 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    That's what I thinking. She seems to already have made up her mind and although I would love her there, I don't want to pressure. Thanks lolo!
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Did your friend tell you she is declining because she can't afford to buy you a gift?
                       
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  • cosenti7cosenti7 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    She said "some things came up and unfortunately she can't financially swing it anymore" It was a very nice email and she thanked me for including her.
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  • steph861steph861 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    cosenti7 said:
    She said "some things came up and unfortunately she can't financially swing it anymore" It was a very nice email and she thanked me for including her.
    Would she have to travel to attend? That makes a huge difference in the affordability of attending a wedding.
    image



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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    She could also have had to buy a dress or shoes or something if she doesn't own any dressy clothes, and maybe she couldn't afford that. I would DEFINITELY not mention a gift, since that's probably not the financial reason she's declining!
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  • cosenti7cosenti7 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    No, we are local, but I understand.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    That's a good point @MandyMost. I was thinking it would be sad if she was declining because she couldn't afford a gift. Didn't take into account that she might have other expenses associated with attending a wedding.


                       
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  • cosenti7cosenti7 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Should I just keep it short and sweet?

    Guest,
    Thank you so much for letting us know. Please let us know if anything changes. FI and I will miss your presence on our wedding day.

    Love, cosenti7


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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    cosenti7 said:
    Should I just keep it short and sweet?

    Guest,
    Thank you so much for letting us know. Please let us know if anything changes. FI and I will miss your presence on our wedding day.

    Love, cosenti7


    Sounds good!
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    image
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  • afaber24afaber24 member
    Second Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    Keeping it simple is always a great idea. I'd say something like.

    Thanks for letting us know. We'll miss you!
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