I had picked up Baby A from school, and had Baby L with me when my FIL called me to ask if I wanted to meet him and MIL for lunch at First Watch. For those not familiar, First Watch is a breakfast/lunch chain and we go there often for breakfast on Sundays with the whole family.
Anyway, the place is half full, and we're sitting at a booth in the back. Behind us are 3 old bags who appeared to be in their late 70s or 80s, talking abot how so and so is the only man who takes her out at night. I can only assume it's because he is the only one of her many suitors who has an unrestricted driver's license, but I digress.
Baby L was in a highchair and after he finished eating was joyfully making noises. At one point he was a little loud, and since my FIL had finished, he took him outside. He brought him back a few minutes later because he had an appointment and had to leave. Baby L lets out a small happy shriek and my MIL informs me that the old bag that was facing her kept shaking her head everytime he made a noise. I turned and gave her a, "are you f-ing kidding me" look, and that set them off. I stood up, grabbed Baby L and told them, "I'm so happy that your children were perfect and I'm sorry mine are not."
Do you know that the old bag who was shaking her head said to me, "Mine weren't perfect, but I kept them home until they were." Following that remark, I got up, leaving my MIL at the table. I'm sure she had something nice to say to them as well, but I hightailed it to the parking lot before I said something worse.
Old people, I hate you.