Snarky Brides

Received invite at bridal shower

I was over there thinking what an awesome idea it was!!! You could save some postage! Then I realized that I don't have to turn in the RSVP for 2 whole months because it's so early. This bride also has a 5 hour gap and she has her wedding over thanksgiving weekend. I'm so glad she is so thoughtful. I am considering not going, but she is FI's family, so I think I have to consider yes.
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Re: Received invite at bridal shower

  • No you don't.
  • The 5 hour gap alone means you don't have to go. That level of rudeness trumps any family relations.
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  • Or choose either the ceremony or the reception to go to, at least if it isn't too far out of town.  I know the general consensus is it is rude to go to a reception without going to the ceremony...and under most circumstances I agree with that.  But when a couple is trying to hold my entire day and night hostage, I'm only going to one...and I'll usually choose the reception.
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  • 5 hour gap?  No thanks.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I think I'll just go to the reception. I won't even have a hotel room to go to because they don't let you in until 3. It's over the holiday weekend so I have a good excuse.
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  • 5 hours?  She going for some sort of record or something?  Sheesh!
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  • How does it not occur to people how inconvenient a 5-hour gap is for guests? Doesn't matter if you have a hotel to go to, it's just rude!
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  •  What a lovely and thoughtful bride! Soooo, did you go to the shower thinking you may not be invited to the wedding? If so, you are a bit nicer than me. I have no problem getting a gift, on my accord, but if you invite me to a shower and I haven't gotten an invitation...it kinda screams gift grabby and I will have no part of it.  
    BTW I would die if there was a five hour gap at any wedding. lol 
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  •  What a lovely and thoughtful bride! Soooo, did you go to the shower thinking you may not be invited to the wedding? If so, you are a bit nicer than me. I have no problem getting a gift, on my accord, but if you invite me to a shower and I haven't gotten an invitation...it kinda screams gift grabby and I will have no part of it.  
    BTW I would die if there was a five hour gap at any wedding. lol 
    Um, the invitation for the wedding usually go out 2 months before the wedding. Some people have their showers more than 2 months prior to their wedding, so you very well could go to the shower before you have the invitation.

    Brides shouldn't be hosting their own shower, so they usually only have say over the date (if it works with their schedule) and the guest list, not when the invitations go out for the shower.

    I have always received a shower invitation before I received the wedding invitation. 
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited September 2014
     What a lovely and thoughtful bride! Soooo, did you go to the shower thinking you may not be invited to the wedding? If so, you are a bit nicer than me. I have no problem getting a gift, on my accord, but if you invite me to a shower and I haven't gotten an invitation...it kinda screams gift grabby and I will have no part of it.  
    BTW I would die if there was a five hour gap at any wedding. lol 
    No, she's a cousin and would be flayed by her family if I wasn't invited. They aren't that rude.

    I have never been to a shower where I already had the invite. Maybe we just have showers early in my group. Mine will be about two months before I get married.
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  • How does it not occur to people how inconvenient a 5-hour gap is for guests? Doesn't matter if you have a hotel to go to, it's just rude!
    Everyone in her family is pretty pissed about everything about her wedding *and also she's 18 with no job or school or anything*

    Mine will be a few months after hers and I am going to look like Mrs. Manners meets Kate Middleton next to her. 
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  • larrygaga said:
    How does it not occur to people how inconvenient a 5-hour gap is for guests? Doesn't matter if you have a hotel to go to, it's just rude!
    Everyone in her family is pretty pissed about everything about her wedding *and also she's 18 with no job or school or anything*

    Mine will be a few months after hers and I am going to look like Mrs. Manners meets Kate Middleton next to her. 
    We got married a few weeks after H's cousin, and I was pretty stoked at how much more fun our wedding was. Plus we greeted everyone, versus them taking WAY too long to take pictures and not talking to most of the guests, and our food was served on time versus theirs having 45 minutes between salad and entree.

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  • 5 hours??????!!!!!!!! I mean really?! I suggest you send her an anonymous letter and tell her to check out the "etiquette police" post on "Snarky Brides". Damn.
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  • larrygaga said:
    I think I'll just go to the reception. I won't even have a hotel room to go to because they don't let you in until 3. It's over the holiday weekend so I have a good excuse.

    If the wedding is at the hotel you are staying at, check with them about early check in.  They usually try to accommodate wedding guests if they can.  I recently went to a family wedding that had a 3 hour gap.  Hotel check-in was 3pm.  We called and asked about early check in and they said they would let us check in early, as long as there were rooms available and ready, which was likely as they didn't expect to be fully booked that day/night.  We got lucky and were able to check into our room at noon.  I was a BM, so I got stuck running around with wedding party doing photos during the gap, but the hotel room gave my husband a place to crash and escape to, rather than sitting in the hotel bar with the other 120 guests.

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