My Budget Wedding Plans

emmiejayne · September 2014

So, the FH and I are on quite a tight budget! We're paying for the whole wedding ourselves. Neither sets of parents have any strong views either way on our wedding (although a family member is insisting on making mince pies for us, which we are TOTALLY not complaining about), but they're from very different backgrounds, so it will be interesting bringing them all together!

Anyway, the first budget decision was made for us; we don't have masses of people we want to invite. It's mainly family and close friends (95% of whom I consider family anyway) so we're having 60 (huge, I know!) at the ceremony and then another 20 or so to join in for the food and partying afterwards.

We both love winter, so we're getting married in early December next year! Yay! We're hiring the village hall, I'm cooking (yes, you read that right, the bride is cooking her wedding feast!) and our photographer is a friend we've both know for many years.

My dress? Well, what's to say... I can't find one I like. I don't do fancy or frilly meringue concoctions. I like simple, elegant lacework, tiny amounts of sparkles. I want a dress I'll wear, not something that will wear me! I fully intend to wear wedged flip flops because they're comfortable. I don't do high heels.

In terms of flowers, I'm not having any! I'm making my bouquet and the boutonnieres out of fabric. Centre pieces are a combination of candles, baubles, wine bottles and jam jars which family are collecting for us. Fairy lights and Christmas decorations will be used to illuminate and decorate the rest of the room.

Our venue comes with a fully equipped commercial kitchen which can be hired for something like £50, which makes dinner a lot easier! I'm pre-cooking two dozen chickens, chunking up the meat and will re-heat the it in chicken stock/gravy. I'm serving it with roasted vegetables (which will again be pre-cooked and re-heated at the venue), a shed load of crusty bread and bits and pieces.

For dessert, we're doing a make-your-own hot chocolate bar which will be served with mini-brownie pieces, plus cupcakes which will form our wedding cake!

We're trying to do as much of this for ourselves, at least that way we can control it. I think the food and drink coming to a total of about £500 (~ $700), venue hire, all the legal stuff, ceremony, decorations, DJ, fabric, crafty bits and pieces, invitations and stationary is turning up at around the £1200 (~$1400) mark. FH's suit plus my dress are still to be added into the budget, but the whole thing should come to less than £3000,which we're pretty happy with.

Opinions on what we've got so far?

[Deleted User] · September 2014

Can I ask why you're excluding 20 people from your ceremony?

[Deleted User] · September 2014

Any reason the additional 20 aren't invited to the ceremony? Not enough space? Seems odd that they'd be invited to the part that costs money (reception) but not the ceremony! If I was in those 20 people, I'd be hurt to not be invited to the ceremony.

Maybe look into hiring a local culinary student to run the kitchen. That's the last thing you're going to want to be handling the day of your wedding!

Viczaesar · October 2014

emmiejayne said:

So, the FH and I are on quite a tight budget! We're paying for the whole wedding ourselves. Neither sets of parents have any strong views either way on our wedding (although a family member is insisting on making mince pies for us, which we are TOTALLY not complaining about), but they're from very different backgrounds, so it will be interesting bringing them all together!

Anyway, the first budget decision was made for us; we don't have masses of people we want to invite. It's mainly family and close friends (95% of whom I consider family anyway) so we're having 60 (huge, I know!) at the ceremony and then another 20 or so to join in for the food and partying afterwards.

We both love winter, so we're getting married in early December next year! Yay! We're hiring the village hall, I'm cooking (yes, you read that right, the bride is cooking her wedding feast!) and our photographer is a friend we've both know for many years.

My dress? Well, what's to say... I can't find one I like. I don't do fancy or frilly meringue concoctions. I like simple, elegant lacework, tiny amounts of sparkles. I want a dress I'll wear, not something that will wear me! I fully intend to wear wedged flip flops because they're comfortable. I don't do high heels.

In terms of flowers, I'm not having any! I'm making my bouquet and the boutonnieres out of fabric. Centre pieces are a combination of candles, baubles, wine bottles and jam jars which family are collecting for us. Fairy lights and Christmas decorations will be used to illuminate and decorate the rest of the room.

Our venue comes with a fully equipped commercial kitchen which can be hired for something like £50, which makes dinner a lot easier! I'm pre-cooking two dozen chickens, chunking up the meat and will re-heat the it in chicken stock/gravy. I'm serving it with roasted vegetables (which will again be pre-cooked and re-heated at the venue), a shed load of crusty bread and bits and pieces.

For dessert, we're doing a make-your-own hot chocolate bar which will be served with mini-brownie pieces, plus cupcakes which will form our wedding cake!

We're trying to do as much of this for ourselves, at least that way we can control it. I think the food and drink coming to a total of about £500 (~ $700), venue hire, all the legal stuff, ceremony, decorations, DJ, fabric, crafty bits and pieces, invitations and stationary is turning up at around the £1200 (~$1400) mark. FH's suit plus my dress are still to be added into the budget, but the whole thing should come to less than £3000,which we're pretty happy with.

Opinions on what we've got so far?

That's a tiered wedding and it's super rude. Don't do it. Either invite all 80 to the ceremony or stick with the 60 and don't invite additional people to the reception. By the way, 500 GBP is about $810, not $700, and 1200 GBP is about $1940, not $1400.

LondonLisa · October 2014

emmiejayne said:

So, the FH and I are on quite a tight budget! We're paying for the whole wedding ourselves. Neither sets of parents have any strong views either way on our wedding (although a family member is insisting on making mince pies for us, which we are TOTALLY not complaining about), but they're from very different backgrounds, so it will be interesting bringing them all together!

Anyway, the first budget decision was made for us; we don't have masses of people we want to invite. It's mainly family and close friends (95% of whom I consider family anyway) so we're having 60 (huge, I know!) at the ceremony and then another 20 or so to join in for the food and partying afterwards.

We both love winter, so we're getting married in early December next year! Yay! We're hiring the village hall, I'm cooking (yes, you read that right, the bride is cooking her wedding feast!) and our photographer is a friend we've both know for many years.

My dress? Well, what's to say... I can't find one I like. I don't do fancy or frilly meringue concoctions. I like simple, elegant lacework, tiny amounts of sparkles. I want a dress I'll wear, not something that will wear me! I fully intend to wear wedged flip flops because they're comfortable. I don't do high heels.

In terms of flowers, I'm not having any! I'm making my bouquet and the boutonnieres out of fabric. Centre pieces are a combination of candles, baubles, wine bottles and jam jars which family are collecting for us. Fairy lights and Christmas decorations will be used to illuminate and decorate the rest of the room.

Our venue comes with a fully equipped commercial kitchen which can be hired for something like £50, which makes dinner a lot easier! I'm pre-cooking two dozen chickens, chunking up the meat and will re-heat the it in chicken stock/gravy. I'm serving it with roasted vegetables (which will again be pre-cooked and re-heated at the venue), a shed load of crusty bread and bits and pieces.

For dessert, we're doing a make-your-own hot chocolate bar which will be served with mini-brownie pieces, plus cupcakes which will form our wedding cake!

We're trying to do as much of this for ourselves, at least that way we can control it. I think the food and drink coming to a total of about £500 (~ $700), venue hire, all the legal stuff, ceremony, decorations, DJ, fabric, crafty bits and pieces, invitations and stationary is turning up at around the £1200 (~$1400) mark. FH's suit plus my dress are still to be added into the budget, but the whole thing should come to less than £3000,which we're pretty happy with.

Opinions on what we've got so far?

It is very, very rude to exclude 20 people from the ceremony and not the reception.

Some logistics problems you need to address are mainly going to be around the food: Who is cooking your food and serving it whilst you are at the ceremony? Who is keeping the hot food hot and the cold food cold? Who is clearing up? Who is doing the washing up? Who is scrubbing the kitchen afterwards?

emmiejayne · October 2014

Sorry, I was ishing on the currency conversion. Trying to be helpful! I have only got vague ideas what I'm doing, that's kinda why I was asking for opinions; the tiered wedding thing is because there may not be enough space at the ceremony venue, they're mainly my mum's and grandma's friends (whom I've known for years but aren't especially close to). We're currently picking between two venues, and I'd like them to come to the whole thing; we're leaning towards the bigger one, but logistics are harder. Anyway, that can be worked out for sure in a few months. As a general note, in my area, it's always alright to do the tiered wedding thing; sometimes people want a small ceremony but to celebrate afterwards with everyone. I used to work for a restaurant, and there's a couple of people who've worked in the kitchens there (my age) that I've worked with and known for 3+ years; they've offered to keep an eye on it for me while it's in the ovens and keep the food trays topped because it's going to be buffet style. We're putting a few bottles of wine and jugs of water on the tables and there'll be a cold box (slightly nicer version) of soft drinks and beers (neither FH or I drink very much, so we're considering having a dry wedding). Myself and FH will do the setting up and the washing up; we're in the process of negotiating the Friday night, Saturday all day and Sunday morning so we'll have time.

LondonLisa · October 2014

emmiejayne said:

Sorry, I was ishing on the currency conversion. Trying to be helpful! I have only got vague ideas what I'm doing, that's kinda why I was asking for opinions; the tiered wedding thing is because there may not be enough space at the ceremony venue, they're mainly my mum's and grandma's friends (whom I've known for years but aren't especially close to). We're currently picking between two venues, and I'd like them to come to the whole thing; we're leaning towards the bigger one, but logistics are harder. Anyway, that can be worked out for sure in a few months. As a general note, in my area, it's always alright to do the tiered wedding thing; sometimes people want a small ceremony but to celebrate afterwards with everyone. I used to work for a restaurant, and there's a couple of people who've worked in the kitchens there (my age) that I've worked with and known for 3+ years; they've offered to keep an eye on it for me while it's in the ovens and keep the food trays topped because it's going to be buffet style. We're putting a few bottles of wine and jugs of water on the tables and there'll be a cold box (slightly nicer version) of soft drinks and beers (neither FH or I drink very much, so we're considering having a dry wedding). Myself and FH will do the setting up and the washing up; we're in the process of negotiating the Friday night, Saturday all day and Sunday morning so we'll have time.

Where are you from? I'm British as well and that sounds terribly rude to not invite those 20 people. I've been to weddings all over the country and have never heard of this as a general rule. The thing is, you're not having a small ceremony. A small ceremony usually parents/siblings only (like 15 people max). You are inviting 40 to the ceremony and 20 to come later. Why not invite them to the whole thing? The reception is the expensive part, anyway.

MGP · October 2014

Viczaesar said:

emmiejayne said:

We're trying to do as much of this for ourselves, at least that way we can control it. I think the food and drink coming to a total of about £500 (~ $700), venue hire, all the legal stuff, ceremony, decorations, DJ, fabric, crafty bits and pieces, invitations and stationary is turning up at around the £1200 (~$1400) mark. FH's suit plus my dress are still to be added into the budget, but the whole thing should come to less than £3000,which we're pretty happy with.

Opinions on what we've got so far?

That's a tiered wedding and it's super rude. Don't do it. Either invite all 80 to the ceremony or stick with the 60 and don't invite additional people to the reception. By the way, 500 GBP is about $810, not $700, and 1200 GBP is about $1940, not $1400.

Besides a tiered wedding being super rude, your breakdown seems really off. Percentage wise from what you shared you are spending 16% on food and drink, 43% on your attire, and 41% on everything else? If I found out a couple spent almost three times as much on their clothes than hosting their guests I would be PISSED.

emmiejayne · October 2014

That estimate probably is a little off - its an estimate for a reason!

His close family (brother, sisters, their partners and kids, and his parents) is 30 people. We are NOT excluding the kids (that's half the fun!), which is why its such a big ceremony. Added to my family and our friends and you're leaning.towards 60 people. As I've already said, we are leaning towards the bigger venue anyway - which means it wont be tiered!

My family and friends don't and won't care about how much I spend - as long as they have a good time and leave with bellies full, they are a happy bunch. This isn't a formal wedding. Morning suits are thoroughly discouraged. Hell, I'm wearing flip flops/barefooted for the reception! Why on earth, as long as you enjoyed yourselves, would you care how much they spent? Seriously? A big expensive doesn't necessarily equal a happy marriage.

As to clothing, neither of us really have much nice stuff, and this is our one chance to actually spend some money on ourselves (rather than house repairs, or family gatherings, or paying the bills), so were going to do it.

I'm from Bedfordshire.

Also, anything constructive? All I've got for this is that I'm not spending enough on food/drinks, and tiered wedding is rude and I'm an all round bad person (seriously, that's how I now feel). I'll probably end up making my own dress and it'll cost me £100.

Anything anyone likes?!

LondonLisa · October 2014

I think you are misinterpreting the comments on here (and I am very pleased to hear you will be inviting everyone, it is worth it, trust me!). The meal/reception is a thank you to your guests, so if you are spending three times more on your outfit than food for everyone, you could see how it could make people feel slighted. People have budget weddings all the time, and everyone understands. If I went to a wedding that had sandwiches, I would be fine with it, but if the B&G then arrived in a helicopter, I would seriously side-eye that. It would make me believe that hosting their guests wasn't a priority. The number one thing people want in a wedding is good food.

The reception meal should be one of your biggest expenses, even if you are cooking it yourself. No one wants to eat cheap food in an expensively decorated hall. Guests will appreciate great food in a simple hall, always.

A lot of women on here getting married say they want to cook the wedding breakfast themselves, but what they really mean by that is dictating to their family and friends what they have to do. Such as, you need to make mash (or another side dish) for 100 people and then serve it and clean up. You can see how that is not hosting that is making your friends and family do the work for you. However, it sounds like you want to hire these people you worked with at a restaurant to serve your meal, that sounds like a good plan. If you and your fi want to do the cleaning and setting up, that is great- just don't make other people do it for you.

Fairy lights and Christmas decorations sound great- maybe throw in some Christmas crackers for fun.

Check out Asos as they have a lot of fun white dresses that could work for you that are reasonably priced.

What are you planing on spending the remaining £1250 on if invitations, food, decorations, venue hire, and entertainment are already incorporated? If you are having 60 people, your food works out to £8.30 which sounds a tad low for Beds. People always eat and drink more at weddings and the last thing you want to do is run out of food. Especially if it is a buffet, you may have people at the end get nothing.

Are you including drinks in that (perfectly fine to have a dry wedding, just don't do a cash bar)? Does that include cake? What about plates, cups, cutlery, napkins etc? If I were you, I would flip your budget to £1300 for food, cake and drink, £500 for outfits and £1200 for entertainment, venue, legal, decoration etc. That makes it £20 pp which sounds entirely reasonable for a budget wedding meal with non-alcoholic drinks, hot chocolate bar and cake.

Good luck! I love village hall weddings.

emmiejayne · October 2014

Thanks

Sorry, i'm a bit sensitive - my mother turned into a bit of a "this is how things are done" kinda person.

I kinda get it now - no helicopter for us though! I might have over and under guestimated for things. Because I used to work in the catering business, I can get food-y-bits en masse which means that I can food cheaper because it's bought in bulk. It's the same stuff, just more of it. Anyway.

Also, the amount of food I'll cook, it'll end up feeding an army. I did a buffet party for 15 people, and was still eating food 2 days later, AND they all stayed round.

We're providing wine, beer (a bit of fizzy stuff for the a toasts) and soft drinks (which I think is pretty reasonable, considering we don't drink) but the village hall has the bar open anyway, if anyone wants spirits. It's a complicated one. Some people drink loads, others hardly anything.

CHRISTMAS CRACKERS FTW, they are so going on the list!

My family aren't allowed to help (except my partner's Auntie can't come as she's long-term ill, so she's volunteered to make a shed load of mince pies for us). I don't like asking other people to do stuff, especially where money/doing us a favour-y type issues are involved.

Your budget does look a lot more reasonable, I took my calculator to my original one and wondered if I'd been high while writing it up (I hadn't.). Also, I said a lot less than £3000 - I never actually said we were spending the rest on our outfits (we're not - that should come to ~£500/600 depending on where we get his suit from. As I say I'll probably make mine and embroider it myself.)

Tiered is out the window; the registrar spoke to us and reckons she can get everyone in; just!

Thanks for the constructive stuff

PS - how do people feel about asking for money/gift vouchers instead of presents? Not asking as such, more, we don't need you to get us anything but if you really want to, can we have the money because we're trying to do up the house and make it child-friendly? (Ms Autistic over here, not fantastic with social rules).

[Deleted User] · October 2014

As far as asking for money- don't do it. But you're totally on the right track- if people ask you what you want or if you're registered you can just say "Oh we're not registering anywhere, we're just working on fixing up the house."

They'll get it and give money

MGP · October 2014

emmiejayne said:

Thanks Sorry, i'm a bit sensitive - my mother turned into a bit of a "this is how things are done" kinda person.

I kinda get it now - no helicopter for us though! I might have over and under guestimated for things. Because I used to work in the catering business, I can get food-y-bits en masse which means that I can food cheaper because it's bought in bulk. It's the same stuff, just more of it. Anyway.

Also, the amount of food I'll cook, it'll end up feeding an army. I did a buffet party for 15 people, and was still eating food 2 days later, AND they all stayed round.

We're providing wine, beer (a bit of fizzy stuff for the a toasts) and soft drinks (which I think is pretty reasonable, considering we don't drink) but the village hall has the bar open anyway, if anyone wants spirits. It's a complicated one. Some people drink loads, others hardly anything.

CHRISTMAS CRACKERS FTW, they are so going on the list!

My family aren't allowed to help (except my partner's Auntie can't come as she's long-term ill, so she's volunteered to make a shed load of mince pies for us). I don't like asking other people to do stuff, especially where money/doing us a favour-y type issues are involved.

Your budget does look a lot more reasonable, I took my calculator to my original one and wondered if I'd been high while writing it up (I hadn't.). Also, I said a lot less than £3000 - I never actually said we were spending the rest on our outfits (we're not - that should come to ~£500/600 depending on where we get his suit from. As I say I'll probably make mine and embroider it myself.)

Tiered is out the window; the registrar spoke to us and reckons she can get everyone in; just!

Thanks for the constructive stuff

PS - how do people feel about asking for money/gift vouchers instead of presents? Not asking as such, more, we don't need you to get us anything but if you really want to, can we have the money because we're trying to do up the house and make it child-friendly? (Ms Autistic over here, not fantastic with social rules).

Honestly I think you have a really good attitude towards things and your heart is in the right place. You want to be inclusive and feed everyone, in addition to not asking people to work at your wedding. Those things right there put you on the right track.

Sorry if my math was a little off but I was just going with the information that was given. I think it's perfectly fine to put some money into your attire, especially if it's a suit that he can wear for years. Just remember we see brides come on here that spend $5000 on a dress and then don't serve food. Unfortunately we get a little jaded here.

But - it's very inappropriate to ask your guests for money, so just don't register and if asked say you are saving for a big home project. People will get the message.

Good luck!

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Well, it looks like you're coming up with a lot of good ideas to plan your wedding properly. Be sure to hit up all the post-Christmas sales for your twinkly lights and other decorations. You probably find a ton of stuff on clearance after the holidays.

And get contracts with any of your vendors, even if they're your friends. You want to make sure they have extra incentive to show up to work your wedding instead of deciding to sleep in because the weather is lousy. You want to make sure they show up, and they want to make sure they get paid. Win-win.

emmiejayne · October 2014

Thank you! No, contracts are a definite yes with me; I've known too many weddings go wrong because of lack of contracts. I've asked all my family to save all their jam jars for us (for tea lights) and my parents have a shed-loadof fairy lights they're letting us borrow. Christmas sales shall be hit, and hit hard! I love all the post-christmas cheapness. Baubles in vases, anyone? Sparkles FTW!

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