Declining a Wedding Invitation

Re: Declining a Wedding Invitation

• holyguacamole79 member

  

  October 2014

  psiloveyouu said:

  What are the etiquette rules surrounding declining a wedding invitation? I am going to be unable to get off work to attend a family members upcoming wedding and I'm nervous to respond to the invitation I just received - in the past, we've chatted about the wedding so I believe they assume I am definitely going. What makes it even more awkward is that the invitation doesn't include RSVP cards - instead they are asking that we call/text to advise whether we are going. How would you handle this graciously? Thanks and Happy Friday!

  Just call and let them know that you are not able to take off from work and that you'll miss them.  People should understand.
  

  
  
  
  
  

  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  October 2014

  Call them up and tell them that unfortunately you will be unable to make the wedding. Then send a nice card of congratulations once the wedding occurs. Don't make this a bigger deal then it is.

  
  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  October 2014

  "Hi Sally. I'm so sorry, but I won't be able to attend the wedding. I've tried, but cannot get off work. I hope you have a great time and I'll be thinking about you." 

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• psiloveyouu member

  

  October 2014

  Thanks to all for the feedback! I am probably overthinking it.

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• traditionallyuntraditional member

  

  October 2014

  I've had to decline wedding invites before I always make a personal phone call prior to RSVP'ing by mail. I just want to let them know I'm sorry but xyz major issue that can't be changed is preventing me from going. In this case they only want electronic rsvp's (which is weird it's usually a card or more traditionally a letter) but either way just call and let them know.
  

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• Fairyjen1 member

  

  October 2014

     Are you my FI's cousin? because I only had a call and e-mail on mine (we only invited 15 people, mostly immediate family with a couple exceptions) . We haven't heard from them yet.

  
  

     Although we were pretty sure they weren't coming, we send an invitation anyway so they know we are thinking of them.  

  
  

     An invitation is not a summons. You can decline for any reason. As a bride I realize that everyone might not be able to come and that's just fine. If anyone tries to make you feel guilty for it they are the rude ones. 

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• CMGragain member

  

  October 2014 edited October 2014

  If you want to do it the proper, old-fashioned way, then write a note: "Ms. Psiloveuu regrets that she in unable to accept the kind invitation to attend the wedding of Bride and Groom on date."  No explanations are required.
  

  

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• Wegl13 member

  

  October 2014

  Do what CMGragain said, in a letter, because it's boss.

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• SomethingBeautiful08 member

  

  October 2014

  While I've never had to do it for a wedding invite, I will admit that I've waiting until I was pretty sure that person I need to call and tell someone something was not at their phone because I thought it would be awkward.  While it can be awkward at times, these kind of conversations are generally more awkward in my head, then they actually are.  While unusual, the couple didn't do anything wrong by requesting an RSVP this way and you are doing wrong by declining, regardless of the reason.  You'll be ok.
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  October 2014

  psiloveyouu said:

  What are the etiquette rules surrounding declining a wedding invitation? I am going to be unable to get off work to attend a family members upcoming wedding and I'm nervous to respond to the invitation I just received - in the past, we've chatted about the wedding so I believe they assume I am definitely going. What makes it even more awkward is that the invitation doesn't include RSVP cards - instead they are asking that we call/text to advise whether we are going. How would you handle this graciously? Thanks and Happy Friday!

  Well, technically, it actually is correct according to very traditional etiquette that they didn't include an RSVP card in the invitation, although it's not traditional at all that they are asking that you call or text your response.  Tradition holds that you're supposed to handwrite your response, not use technology, and send it in your own self-addressed, stamped envelope without the hosts having to provide you one.  That's seldom done anymore, of course.
  
  In this instance, though, I'd call or text the hosts and just tell them that unfortunately it isn't possible for you to attend the wedding.  It would still be appropriate to send the couple a nice card, but you aren't required to send them a gift although you can if you want to.
  

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