October 2014 Weddings

Me vs inlaws

I really want to like them but I'm currently laying on my floor in tears because since they arrived Saturday, I've not been allowed to spend any time with my fiancé. His mom doesn't like me and has told him that. They're staying I our (tiny) house. He's hauling them all over to do wedding stuff or go get lunch. I'm never invited. He's off getting his vest with them now. I told him I had hurt feelings and he just left. Either they need to leave or I do. I'm not going to be able to survive the wedding with them here. and they are staying until the 10th. I can't handle this.

Re: Me vs inlaws

  • labrolabro Hotlanta member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think you need to have a one on one conversation with your FI. As his (nearly) wife you are now the number 1 person in his life. His parents have to come second to you and he needs to stand up for you and insist on including you in family activities. It isn't right that he's just going along with his mom and dad and excluding you and not standing up for you. It sounds like there's a serious communication issue happening here and your FI needs to understand how important this is. I'm sorry your in-laws don't get along wit you. :(

  • mego2708mego2708 member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited October 2014

    Has this been an issue before, or is this new? It could be the stress/realization of the wedding getting to them. My future mother-in-law who usually loves me has been really short with me lately, and then she blew up at my fiancé for "going off and getting married and leaving her."

    Does your fiancé usually listen to your feelings when it comes to situations with his parents? I think you need to make sure your fiancé understands how much this is upsetting you. Ultimately, he probably needs to put an end to his mom's bad behavior.

    Do you have a bridesmaid or other girlfriend you could go stay with for the night? You could always use the excuse that you need a girls night before the big day. That may give your fiancé the opportunity to talk to his parents about what is going on.

  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I think a lot of feelings are heightened before a wedding. It is a change for our parents as well as a change for us. I remember my mom and aunts talking about the old saying "a son is a son until he takes a wife, a daughter is forever".

  • You're going to be dealing with these people for more than just your wedding, you and your FI need to be on the same page. 

    I had a similar issue with my FMIL, where she would not talk to me about wedding things, only him.  I'd email her about flowers, because she offered to pay, and she's call him to answer my question.  No idea why she wasn't just emailing back or calling me, but she was, until I told FI how it made me feel, and he told her to knock it off.  

    Talk to him when he gets back.  Tell him how you feel.  

  • Definitely talk to him about it, you don't want that kind of nonsense to continue into every time they visit. :(

    I hope things improve for you!

  • Have things gotten any [email protected]? I hope so!!
  • Hi ladies! Busy wedding weekend, so I'm just now getting back. Things are better now. He had a very long chat with his mom on Friday, and by Friday night she had settled down. We had a good weekend, but now they're ready to go home and H is ready for them to go too. Unfortunately, they're not taking off until Thursday morning. We're in the home stretch though. We can make it!
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