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Wedding Woes

My Wedding was wonderful...apart from these two items.

So we got married this past weekend! The wedding day was smooth. I was never nervous, I was cool and calm all day. However, I wanted to kill my MOH and inlaws after the fact.

MOH made the focus herself, not me. All she cared about was the party and getting drunk and herself. She brought extensions to our bridal hair appointment. I warned her that those take a long time and they may not be able to do them as part of her style. I asked her to get a normal, formal style and she refused, wanting her hair done the way SHE wanted. The salon did, however reluctantly put them in caused us to run late and then my MOH snapped at the salon staff and owner about scheduling her last. Might I add that I paid $500 for my attendants to get their hair and makeup done? I ended up having to leave her there so I could get to church on time and then had to send my sister to pick her up.

She got so drunk on the bus between church and reception, that she completely botched her toast. She waited until the day of the wedding to even write it and then was too drunk to read it. Then disappeared the entire remainder of the ceremony to get even more drunk with her boyfriend.

As for my in-laws. During dinner, my SIL's husband walked into the reception with a large, shopping bag from Wendy's. He freaking left during dinner and got Wendy's for her son, our usher and herself and husband. $64 a head is what our reception ended up being and they brought Wendy's in for food. DH was furious, my dad and our groomsman were furious. SIL said. "well everything has onions in it'. Not the salad, cake rolls or roasted pork... Even my boss, her date and some school friends commented on it.

Anyways, I don't know how I did it in the moment, but I managed to ignore everyone who ticked me off and was so focused on visiting with guests and enjoying ourselves. The whole day went so quickly! I'm just thankful that they day went as well as I could have wished for myself and for the black sheep in the family, thankful they live our of town!

Re: My Wedding was wonderful...apart from these two items.

  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    I'm guessing this isn't the first time your friend has acted this way. So you either accept this is who she is or you move on. I had a friend like this and I accepted it for a long time. She wasn't too different on our wedding day. When we got home she'd emailed an article about divorce rates. When I called to say my cancer biopsy was negative her immediate reply was "I got a henna tattoo." At the time it hurt, but I still felt the friendship was worth it so I accepted it. As the years went on though it became not worth it. She was very critical and demanding of time and frankly I didn't have the time, energy, or give a darn. So, only you can decide how you want to move forward with her. As for the ILs. Take it from someone who regularly has a BIL show up with Subway/Taco Bell/whatever this will not change. While it's annoying and frustrating and rude, it's not mean. Accept it as a quirk of their personality and laugh at them to your friends.
  • And if you just needed to vent then disregard.
  • darn it I put paragraphs in there. I even tried to edit it.
  • I read MOH and thought MOG in my head.  MOG with extensions and sloppy drunk.  Interesting visual I had for a minute.
  • tawillers said:
    I read MOH and thought MOG in my head.  MOG with extensions and sloppy drunk.  Interesting visual I had for a minute.
    Ditto!
  • scribe95 said:
    How long was the trip between the ceremony and reception for someone to get that drunk? Not buying it. She botched her speech. So what. And I think you overreacted on the hair.

    I would be pissed about the Wendy's though. So rude.
    Interestingly, I feel just the opposite!  The Wendy's thing was obnoxious, but not really mean... whereas the MOH issue does seem kind of malicious to me.  Maybe that's not the right word, but I guess just a lot more selfish and inconsiderate... the speech thing is the most forgivable since lots of people give bad speeches with or without the help of alcohol, but everything else makes her sound like a really bad friend (IMO).  
  • IMO - not acceptable behaviors and agree incredibly rude regardless of it being a $65/pp meal or a $5/pp meal - And, if you didn't want people getting drunk on the ride, there should not have been any alcohol on the bus, but more important than that, why was she not pacing herself.  And the extensions - if she wanted them that bad she should have had them placed the day before when it wasn't you flipping the bill and on a time crunch.  That said - the hardest thing to do is "let it go" when what you really want to do is shake them silly and say "WTMF were you THINKING?!?!?!" 

    I agree with the PP on the solution though of just laying low for the time being and just give it some time to smooth over and focus on other more enjoyable events that happened over the course of the day and being married.  Only you can answer whether the friendship is worth holding on to the grudges or if you just need a little space to let things blow over.  They made themselves out to be @$$es with incredible raw efficiency, let everyone interpret their actions as such, not your (however 100% justifiable) reaction. 

     

  • It was about an hour drive between church and reception, including our stop for pics. We arranged the alcohol for the bus ride and had enough beer for each person to have 2 We thought the was reasonable. MOH snuck on 2 bottles of Fireball without me knowing. It also ended up inside the reception hall on the head table, which was against our TOS for the hall so I had to tell her to get rid of it as soon as I saw it.

     I just needed to vent. MOH doesn't normally act the way she did Actually, I was expecting a lot of sweet memories with her for that day and it did not go that way at all.

    It was overall a perfect day. It's just now, after the fact, that I am starting to think back to the WTF moments.

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