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TULSA! Officiant/Catholic/HELP!

robertandmegangriffinrobertandmegangriffin
10 Comments
in Oklahoma
Someone please help me! Wedding is in 6 months, still looking for someone to actually MARRY us! Fiance is catholic (though not really practicing) and I was raised southern baptist (grandfather is a pastor at a local church). My dad's whole side of the family is slightly miffed that my grandfather is not presiding over our wedding, but it is totally out of the question for me after he preached about fornication at my cousin's wedding! I am not currently converting to Catholicism, although the idea interests me, I'm just not ready to do that yet. We already have our venue booked (the lodge at bridle creek) so a catholic priest will not marry us there (as far as I've found out) and according to Tulsa County Courthouse-there are no Justice of the Peace's in Tulsa (I'm a little surprised and disbelieving of that). All I've found on the internet are.....not what i'm looking for......am I being too picky about this? Is anyone else having trouble finding an officiant here? Does anyone have a good recommendation?
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Re: TULSA! Officiant/Catholic/HELP!

  • TisharpTisharp member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    From what I understand, we don't really have "Justice of the Peace" people  here in Oklahoma anymore.  In OKC you can't even hire a judge to marry you... you have to GO TO the court house on a specific day, to get married by a judge.

    I found a guy online.  And he SUCKED @SS.   But, at the end of the day, we're legally married, so that's all that matters.

    If I were you, I'd have a friend get ordained.  We thought about that, but something (health related) came up with that friend, so we nixed the idea.  I regret not having the friend do it, almost every single day now.

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  • robertandmegangriffinrobertandmegangriffin
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks Tisha, How crazy that Oklahoma doesn't do the Justice of the Peace thing. I can't think of anyone that I would like to marry us, but I will start racking my brain in that direction! Thanks for the suggestion!
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  • TisharpTisharp member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Think outside the box.  We were going to have my dad's best friend do it.  He did the rehearsal for us, and did SO PERFECTLY I wish we would have just gone with it and asked him even at that late date.  I know he would have done it.  We just didn't want to burdon him, since he wasn't feeling well.

    Missing our little turkey.
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  • MrsCoopDawg3467MrsCoopDawg3467
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Does anyone in your immediate family go to a church regularly?  Could you ask that preacher?

    Is there a church "official" in your local area that would be willing to do it?

    Sorry i'm no help i'm still thrown off at the idea what OK doesn't has justice of the peace
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  • Nickie431Nickie431 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You're correct that you won't find a Catholic priest to preside at a location outside a Catholic church unless 1) he is willing, and 2) special permission is granted by the Bishop.  This is according to Church law.  Even though your fiance is not practicing, is it important to him/might it become important in the future/or is it important to you, since you're considering converting, for the Catholic Church to recognize your marriage as valid?  There is special paperwork that you'll need to submit, and you should consult a priest at a nearby parish if this interests you.

    If there's not a pastor a relative or friend can recommend, I suggest contacting Rev. Daniel May, pastor of The Burgh community church (www.faithburgh.com or (918) 935-2098.  Even though I've always been a practicing Catholic, I was also involved for some time with his congregation and also attended a wedding he officiated.  I don't know his personal requirements such as pre-marital counseling, etc., but he is a very kind man.

    Also, if you want to include your grandfather without fear of an uncomfortable sermon (eek!), you could list him in the program as an Honorary Officiant or ask him to read some Scripture of your choosing.  Best wishes!
    "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" (Isaiah 43:1)
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  • robertandmegangriffinrobertandmegangriffin
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Excellent ideas, ladies, thank you. Nickie thank you for the suggestion of including my grandfather that way-that sounds so nice! 
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  • MrsCoopDawg3467MrsCoopDawg3467
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Your grandfather could also and/or say the opening prayer of the ceremony
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  • LisaMichelle91011LisaMichelle91011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My brother and his wife didn't really go to church and they found a pastor who went out to Claremore for them from Tulsa. Try some non-denominational churches (the un-crazy ones). They are usually less strict about where and more interested in teaching a message that applies to everyone. I'm Catholic, but I enjoy weddings with non-denominational pastors.

    I didn't know which Tulsa priest I wanted to use, so I started going around to different parishes on Sunday. I found a priest who really spoke to me and now that is where I go to church. You might try just going around churches for the next few Sundays or Wednesday nights.

    Hope that helps.
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