October 2014 Weddings

Rethinking my decision to walk down the aisle alone.

 My Dad died when I was a child, so I was planning to ask my grandpa to walk to me down the aisle. My grandpa died last December, so after that I decided to walk down the aisle alone. My mom and I are very close, but I've never wanted to ask her. She's been two parents my whole life, and I'm trying really hard to make her just MOB that weekend. I had thought about asking one of my uncles, because my aunt and uncle have been there for everything my whole life. However, all three of their daughters are in the wedding, and they've already helped with a bunch of stuff so I didn't want to put any more burden on them.

I've been ok with walking myself down the aisle until we went to the wedding of friends in June. I saw how much the bride was shaking as she walked the down aisle with her father. I already know I'll be a nervous wreck right before going down the aisle so that's when I started rethinking. Originally, I thought I could maybe ask a friend to stay back with me until after I walk down the aisle. However, most of my good friends are out of state and can't make it.

My aunt called me last night and said she had just found out officially that I was walking down the aisle by myself. She said she and my uncle had been talking about it recently, and he on his own said how honored he would be to walk me down the aisle both for himself, and for my dad (they were only related by marriage, but were really close). My aunt said she wasn't at all trying to pressure me into changing my mind, but she wanted me to know in case I had any concern or doubt that he would love to walk to me down the aisle. Of course, this basically opened Pandora's box for me and now I'm feeling all the things, and completely unsure of what to do. I know walking down the aisle with my uncle won't diminish the memory of my dad or grandpa, or their place in my life.

Sorry for rambling, I'm not even sure what I asking here, I guess I'm just looking for some perspective. I'm a 10/25 bride, so my wedding is 17 days away. I need to make a decision quickly, obviously.

Re: Rethinking my decision to walk down the aisle alone.

  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I am walking myself down the aisle as my father will not be attending my wedding (my mom has anxiety issues and he has chosen to stay back with her).  Basically, I decided if my dad would not be the one walking me down the aisle, I didn't feel right having somebody else do this to 'give me away'. I am my own person - so this was my decision.

    If you want to walk down the aisle yourself, you could have your groom meet you half way.

    It's really your decision and you have to do what makes you feel the most comfortable!


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    Negativity
  • Your comment about your friend shaking while walking down the aisle...On the opposite side of things you have me. My dad did walk me down, but I was the most calm and collected I had been the entire wedding planning process once I hit the stairs to the church. My dad was there as an honor, but I would have been able to do it on my own if I had needed to or wanted to.
    mego2708
  • I'm 10/25 too!  

    Anyway, it's all what makes you comfortable and happy.  My father isn't invited and my step dad will be walking me, which he seems super excited about.  If you want your uncle to walk you, ask him to, it's your wedding and he's already said he would be honored to do so.  
    ashwise
  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    So I talked to my officiant's wife last night to go over the wedding and she wants FI to meet me.  The walk way is like an upside down T with the aisle being the middle - the Groom/Groomsmen enter from one side while the Bride/Bridesmaids enter from the other.  So I will walk behind my guests and when I get to the center of the aisle (before walking down), she want FI to walk down and walk me up the aisle as a symbol that we are entering this marriage together.


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  • @Dignity100 FI and I have talked about him meeting me. I like the symbolism of it, plus I think it could make the walk a little easier. We had talked about planning on him meeting me, or me walking alone with the understanding that if it looked like I was having a difficult time he would meet me.
  • @Negativity yay for 10/25 brides!

    I think I'm just conflicted that I don't know what I want to do. Although I'm leaning towards sticking with what I planned and walking alone. I'm ok with the idea of walking alone, I just think it could be difficult for me emotionally.

  • It's your wedding, do what makes you comfortable and happy.
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