Not Engaged Yet

BF not sure about ring

My boyfriend told me six months ago that he intended to propose and I should start thinking about engagement rings. Problem was, he must have gotten advice on prices somewhere and I just could not bring myself to spend the amount he wanted. It took a couple of months to convince him that the same amount of money would pay for a nicer wedding or a European honeymoon, and that experiencing something together was better than putting all that money into an object.

Eventually we found a ring we both love at a price that doesn't make me hyperventilate. Then....I got a Groupon on an engagement ring. It is the same cut and clarity as the ring we like, looks just like it, and is less than half the price. Free returns within 14 days. My boyfriend is uncomfortable about it because a) he isn't sure Groupon is reputable and b) doesn't know what he'll say when people ask "so, did you go to Jared?" I am perfectly comfortable with buying this way but it's his money.

Any similar experiences? I told him he can have the ring appraised and return it if he doesn't like the quality.

Re: BF not sure about ring

  • umm.... I'm a little confused. Who actually asks "did he go to Jared?"? No one has asked me where we got the ring from. I've occasionally supplied this information on my own... but no one has asked.

    As for groupon... my understanding is you don't buy anything directly from groupon, instead it's a coupon offered by particular vendors. (note, I've never used groupon before, but I know many people who have. )So... even though you have a groupon, presumably there is still a seller or jewelery store offering this ring? So, if anyone actually does ask where you got the ring... just say "XYZ jewelery store" or "XYZ etsy shop/ independent seller" or "from Bluenile/ james allen." You don't need to mention the groupon unless you want to.

     Is the issue that this seller may not actually be reputable? Because that's certainly something to avoid. If you don't get what they say you're getting, then the headache involved to get recompensed may not be worth it if they are crooks. Are there reviews online? Another note... there are a LOT of reputable jewelers that are not Kay, or Jared, or those big name stores. Often you can get a better deal/ quality from a non-brand name jeweler.

    My main advice is, yes, definitely get your ring appraised for insurance purposes no matter what. And give your boyfriend some time to research the seller and feel comfortable with the purchase. No one needs to know how much (or little) you spend. All that matters is that you both love the ring.
    eilis1228KeptInStitches
  • Groupon has a products section, with deals offered directly from them. This ring is one of those offers.

  • audrewuh said:


    Not that your guy is like this, but I learned the hard way (after several years) that H hated it when I would try and convince him to spend less money on something for me. He wants to show that he can provide for me and spoil me, something my poor feminist heart dislikes hearing, but it's what he grew up with and is directly related to his self esteem. 



    That is definitely the case here.  :)  Especially since we are a bit older, that's how he was raised.
  • ShallowSeasShallowSeas Indianapolis, IN member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I wouldn't worry about people asking where he got the ring. Never in my life has anyone asked me or H this question. Either buy a ring in the price range you both are comfortable with or let him spend whatever he wants on you.  If he's uncomfortable using a Groupon then don't pressure him to use it.
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  • ah, okay. And the ring is exactly the same? width of band/ height of band? Type of setting (for the band AND the center stone? if there is a center stone...). Those are details to look into. I'd be wary of extraordinarily low prices as well. I don't think it should matter WHERE you buy the ring. As I noted above no one has asked me that question... I think it might be a rare question? And if they DO I think the key is to not offer up much explanation.. just be excited! "I got it on groupon! I know, right? Who knew they had such great stuff! It's gorgeous, exactly what I wanted!" HOWEVER... this is obviously an important purchase for your fiance. You already revisited budget with him once andlanded at a price that you were okay with. If this groupon thing makes him very uncomfortable, even after a little time to research, then just move on.
  • People have definitely asked me where my ring came from, but never specifically if it was from Jared! lol  I think that's more like a joke/slogan at this point, and surely nobody really means it. 

    My center stone came from a store in the NYC diamond district that was selling on ebay.  When it came in we brought it to an independent jewelery store to make sure it checked out within the return period.

    A real appraisal though is around $100-200.  They can check if the stone/metal is genuine without all that though - they'll even do that at the mall with their testers.

     

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  • also... I just looked at groupon. They say:
    • Certified diamond products ship with an individual quality certification issued by a third-party gemological laboratory that provides a general product assurance as per the quality range stated.

    Who is this third party? GIA and AGS are the certifications considered most reputable. There are a few others, like EGL, that are often  less stringent in their grading. So, for example, an H color certified by GIA might be certified as a D color by EGL. A VVS2 certification by EGL could be a S1 certification by GIA. 


    And appraisals-- they can often take more than 14 days (some jewelers only have appraisers come in once every 2 weeks, and the appraisal itself could take a few days at least). Be ready to have that appointment lined up with a timeline from the jeweler.

  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I think I've only been asked by 1 person where my ring came from and that was because they liked my ring and they were in the market for one.

    It doesn't matter where you get the ring from.  If you're happy with the ring and stone selection, then that is what matters.  I will say, I wanted to be able to see the diamond I was buying (I was fine with online if it was shown in a magnified view so I could see flaws/imperfections).

    If your BF is not comfortable buying a ring off Groupon, I wouldn't push the subject.  If you two are selecting together, there is quite a bit of compromise (example:  I was fine with a stone other than diamond; it was import to FI that I had a diamond; we went with the diamond because ultimately he was making the purchase and I was happy with diamond, sapphire or moissanite or even a few other stones).


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  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    No one has ever asked where we got the ring from or any of the specs. Most of the comments are normally along the lines of, "Oh, wow, it's beautiful!" Few, if any people, will go beyond that. In fact, the only instance I can think of it being appropriate to say anything more than that is if a close friend or family member is about to get engaged and asking for advice... 

    If you're skeptical of the Groupon, do research on the company offering it. Do they have good reviews? Can you find real life pictures on Google of rings purchased from there? Does their website specify how exactly the stones are certified? If any of that information seems shady, I'd pass. 

    Additionally, as others have said, if your BF really wants to spend money on your ring, let him! It may be very important to him to go all out on your ring. Plus, you'll be wearing this for the rest of your life, so it should be a high quality piece of jewelry that you both love. You may have other priorities financially, but this is his priority, and you should respect that. I'd recommend sitting down with him again and discussing what you both want in a ring. Figure out a compromise on specs and cost together. 

    Also, since cost is an issue, I recommend buying the center stone separately and having a local jeweler set it. Local jewelers will usually give you a better price, better service, and better quality than the big box stores like Jared or Kay (both of whom are actually owned by the same company). For the stone, you can check out online retailers like Blue Nile or Moissanite Co, or you can search within your area to find a brick and mortar store. We got my stone on Moissanite Co, and they had a great return policy. A friend of mine bought his diamond at a brick and mortar store, and he got a great deal and had the ability to return the stone if he didn't like it. Just do a bit of research to see what works best for y'all.


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  • lilacck28 said:
    also... I just looked at groupon. They say:
    • Certified diamond products ship with an individual quality certification issued by a third-party gemological laboratory that provides a general product assurance as per the quality range stated.

    Who is this third party? GIA and AGS are the certifications considered most reputable. There are a few others, like EGL, that are often  less stringent in their grading. So, for example, an H color certified by GIA might be certified as a D color by EGL. A VVS2 certification by EGL could be a S1 certification by GIA. 


    And appraisals-- they can often take more than 14 days (some jewelers only have appraisers come in once every 2 weeks, and the appraisal itself could take a few days at least). Be ready to have that appointment lined up with a timeline from the jeweler.

    Good points. It is the IGL. I did not know an appraisal could take that long so I am glad you mentioned that.
  • luckya23luckya23 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2014

    IGL is really bad... is it clarity enhanced?

    ETA: Maybe I'm thinking of IGI, but CE is a big thing to check for!

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  • AlPacinaAlPacina Portlandia member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I bought a necklace off of Groupon once. It was a great deal, and it had a row of ten tiny cubic zirconia stones. When I recieved it, it turned out to only have TWO stones, and they replaced the rest with metal bumps. Definitely didn't look even close to how the picture portrayed it.

    I'm gonna vote against Groupon as a place to spend any significant amount of money, pretty much ever.

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2014
    Honestly, I would just drop the whole groupon thing. Let him spend his money his way. You already got him down to a budget you are more comfortable with now let it be. This just would not be my hill to die on.


    KeptInStitchesSwazzle
  • GoldenPenguinGoldenPenguin Upstate NY mod
    Moderator Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    The closest someone has come to asking where my ring came from is the guy the other day who asked if it was an heirloom because it looked vintagey to him.

    I ordered earrings off of a Groupon once and I never got them. They were only like $9 cz studs, but still. Goods from Groupon can be sketchy.



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  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I haven't had great experiences with Groupon, and I feel like an e-ring is too important to trust Groupon with. But that's just my two cents. Besides, if you buy directly from a reputable local jeweler they will probably clean and inspect your ring for free, and may fix it for you if something happens.

    Bottom line: Your FI wants to buy you an amazing ring and doesn't want to skimp on the cost. It's important to him, so just let him do it.
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  • I haven't had any good experience with Groupon Goods.  Now regular Groupon, has been awesome.  I use it for restaurants and events all the time.  I definitely wouldn't purchase any kind of jewelry from their goods section.  If it was a discount for a local jeweler, that would be different. 
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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I've gotten a ton of stuff from Groupon Goods and I've almost always had a good experience. That said, I don't think I'd trust them with something as important as an engagement ring. I agree with @bethsmiles. Let your BF do what he's comfortable with at this point. 

    And I've never had anyone ask me where my ring is from in the 3 years that I've been wearing it. 



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