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Wedding Woes

I know my son may not be able to have kids, but he doesn't

Dear Prudence,
When my son was a small child, he suffered a playground accident that resulted in an injury that may have affected his chances of ever fathering a child. Because he was so young at the time, he retained no memories of the accident and subsequent operation and hospitalization. When he was growing up, I saw no reason to remind him of the incident, and the subject never came up at all. Now he is 30 years old and working very happily as a teacher. He loves children, and has been very clear from his adolescent years that he intends to have a family of his own. Recently he met and fell in love with a colleague who feels exactly the same way, and the two are planning to marry within the next year. They also plan to start making babies soon afterward. They are very excited about this. My question is, should I tell them now about his potential issues, or should I let them find out for themselves (a process that could take years)? And if I tell them, how do I broach the subject after all these years?

—Wannabe-Grand

Re: I know my son may not be able to have kids, but he doesn't

  • Hmmm, figure out a way to bring up the old injury and fit in, "may want to visit with a urologist to determine how things are working now"

    Or let the couple go through all the guessing, destructive self- doubt and thousands spent on assessments chasing after possible red herrings.

    What to do, what to do....
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  • Is it wrong that I'm wondering what the accident was?  Landed on the monkey bars wrong?  One of those horsey things that bobs back and forth?
  • push that skeleton back in the closet, because infertility will be more fun if it's not explained >:{
    FFS.
  • I haev to say, if I were the son, I'd be dang irritated to *just* now find out.

    Not because it was necessarily 100% relevant, but, if there are problems, knowing that may have affected their timetable.

    I mean, if I would have known that we were dealing w/ IF, I may have pulled the goalie a year sooner.
    With this additional information, son and his FI may have scheduled their TTC journey/marriage/whatever a bit differently.
  • Yea - my question is how do you keep that from someone?!?!?!  I mean - wouldn't he have looked down there to notice a scar or that it didn't look like the other guys in the locker room - KWIM -

    Ackward Mom conversations 101 - this should have come up <oh that's a BAD one!> in conversation a LONG time ago...

  • MesmrEwe said:

    Yea - my question is how do you keep that from someone?!?!?!  I mean - wouldn't he have looked down there to notice a scar or that it didn't look like the other guys in the locker room - KWIM -

    Ackward Mom conversations 101 - this should have come up <oh that's a BAD one!> in conversation a LONG time ago...

    I'm also curious how he injured himself that there's no visible evidence of the "trauma" to his junk - especially if there was surgery of some sort. 
  • @hmonkey I laughed so hard at your post. It would be a little cruel if she did it exactly like that, but also awesome.

  • Some times I think people just think up interesting situations and then send letters to advice columns about them... I can't picture a playground injury that would leave so serious changes, or scares ...
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