So I threw a bridal shower this weekend for my best friend getting married (the one with no ring, no bring crazy pants mom) in December. MOB and Bride were on excellent behavior and both thanked me for hosting.
One of the other BMs though...I was pretty sure I was gonna have to cut a bitch. And Miss Manners did not cover how to politely cut a bitch in the middle of a bridal shower without inconvenience guests (I suppose the answer would be to wait until after said bridal shower).
So she originally wanted to plan the shower with me, ok great, I'm down with that. But she really wanted us to have it on November 25th. The Tuesday before (US) Thanksgiving. WTF? The wedding is December 6th so that's just over a week before the wedding. I couldn't come up with a single person (including myself and the bride) who would be able to make that day. A lot of the bride's mother's family lives about 2 hours away, no way they'd want to travel on a Tuesday right before a holiday they always host knowing they're gonna have to make the same damn trip again next week. So I put my foot down and said, no it needed to be eariler, and I was thinking earlier to mid October. My birthday is in late October, my mom's is the next day, and we're going to Vegas to celebrate this year, so I didn't want to do it too close to our birthdays. Which other BM threw a fit about as I have a birthday every year, yeah but it's my mom's 40th and fuck you I planned this shit out almost a year ago. Bride doesn't care, she'd be pissed if I threw her shower instead of celebrating my mom's 40th.
According to BM bridal showers are "traditionally" held during the week. Sure, maybe they were, when women didn't typically hold down jobs outside of the home. But ya know...things have sort of changed. She was very upset we were breaking with "tradition" and told me the Bride's grandmas would be very upset (they were not). Ok, well I'll handle them being upset over that, I'm good at smoothing over ruffled feathers.
After that she checked out, I'd ask her if she had thoughts on where we should hold it, theme, decorations, ect, ect. and I'd never get any response. So I gave up and did my own thing and pulled together a pretty nice shower.
I decided to rent out my apartment's club house because it wasn't too expensive and they provided tables and chairs for everyone plus a little kitchen. BM complained that "traditionally" it's held at the bride's mother's house. Well, I'm pretty sure that's wrong, but I'm also not going to tell someone else to give up their home so I can throw a party. Again I can smooth feathers (MOB did not give a shit, was glad she didn't have to clean).
Bride happens to love my beef stew. So I decided to make some up and serve it at the shower, along with some store bought sandwiches, veggies and fruit trays, and some chips and dips. BM can't believe I didn't have it catered, it's SOOO tacky to feed people homemade food. No one (sane) complained, and six people asked me for my recipe. She also bitched the colors weren't girly (went with Bride's favorite colors), I used paper plates (I'm not doing all those dishes), and random other things that I started to ignore.
And then she sees my ring. See, I don't like diamonds. Nothing wrong with them, just not really my style. So my wonderful loving FI picked out a beautiful amethyst ring with black diamonds around it, I love it. She looked at it declares loudly "Oh honey, you get that boy to a real jewler so he can get you a proper engagement ring! Can't get married with that on your hand! Real women wear diamonds! Am I right ladies?" to which the bride's quiet grandmother, whose been happily married for over 50 years looks at the ring on her hand and says "You know, when I got married, he proposed with his school ring? And our wedding day he gave me this" (holds up hand to show a gold ring with a small amethyst stone) "He knew purple was my favorite color and it was all he could afford. And I wouldn't want to change this out for the biggest diamond you could find, not on your life. A ring doesn't make a marriage dear, when you grow up, you'll learn that like Mia has, that is a lovely ring sweetheart". I fucking love that woman. And BM shut up for the rest of the day.
Now she's on be about the bachelorette party and how it MUST be in a strip club. Which is the one thing Bride asked me not to do. No strip clubs. She doesn't care about anything else but she doesn't want some strange dude swinging his junk around in front of her. Can't say I blame her.