My indecision is annoying me. Help, please!

novella1186 · October 2014

Did you all do/ are you going to do favors for your wedding?

I initially said no favors, because I personally don't like them, always leave them behind, and they seem like a total waste of money. Unless you can actually afford to buy everyone something nice and not just a monogrammed bottle opener, why? I know the advice these days is to do edible favors, but when I go to weddings I even avoid those. Especially the ones that were clearly packaged by a non-pro (like the bride and her friends) cuz, germs.

Then I heard a comment that people think when you don't give favors you're being cheap and unappreciative and it's rude. So ok. I thought I'd maybe make something. I looked up instructions to hand-make cold process soap, spent weeks going online and to stores to buy all the supplies and ingredients, and tried a batch. It worked out but the ingredients are a bit pricey. And do people even want soap? I actually hate getting bars of soap.

Then I thought "Hey I'll give something meaningful!"-- three of our hobbies are now the stupid organic soap-making nonsense (I've even developed my own special recipes such as for sunburns, yes I got carried away), cooking, and gardening. So, a bar of soap, a little jar of our own dry-rub blend with a recipe, and a packet of hummingbird seed mix. Cool! I'll put together mini gift baskets of this crap with a little note. But giving out seeds is kind of a trend now (and the signs that say "watch our love grow" make me nauseous) and what if people don't have a garden or don't want to garden? Ugh. And all of this was starting to get pricey. I went from $0 budget for favors to potentially hundreds of dollars.

Plan

just do the dry-rub mix (we've given it to some friends and they've become obsessed with it and keep asking for more) with a recipe. It's a very simple easy recipe, and we would list the ingredients of the dry-rub mix in case of any allergies, etc. Is this stupid? Are people even going to want this? Should I return to my "no favors" idea? Ugh!!!

Any advice, suggestions, anecdotes, etc would be so much appreciated. Sorry this is kind of a long post. My neuroses are showing! Yikes.

Ndelible · October 2014

I think favors are a waste of money. I've never been to a wedding with anything other than Jordan almonds (back in the day) and didn't eat those. I know there's the whole "properly host the guests" thing, but it does seem awfully close to making more of the reception than the actual ceremony, you know, the whole reason for the hoopla?

theycallmelinz · October 2014

We aren't doing favors because the lovely TK ladies taught me that they aren't necessary. I can use that money towards something better for the party, like more booze at our bar

destinationtake2 · October 2014

We did wine stoppers. In 2005. People still have them.

ETA: Generally, I root for edible favors though. Decorated sugar cookies are always a hit.

sarawifenow · October 2014

We aren't doing any favors. I have been to about 4 weddings in the last 5 years and I honestly couldn't tell you if any of them had favors or not.

southernbelle0915 · October 2014

Originally we were going to do "favors". And by that I mean we were going to do a DONATION FAVOR (*cringe* and queue the throwing of rotten fruit). We were all pleased with ourselves for discovering this CLICKY.

I can't remember if I got shamed here for it or if I figured out how AW it was by lurking. Either way, we didn't do it and we spent the money on an extra hour for the photo booth.

littlemushroom · October 2014

I would love the dry rub because I love to cook. Also, even if someone doesn't cook, they likely know someone who does that would want it.

We ended up with 3 favors. My parents were paying, but told me and then FI to pick whatever we wanted. So we did, and then my parents decided they wanted the things they would have picked anyway. Since they were paying, we had all three. Spent less than $250 for everything for 140 guests.

1) Glass coasters picked by DH and I because they were useful. I still use glass coasters I got as favors at a friend's wedding 10 years ago. No one even realizes they are from a wedding. DH liked them because they weren't cheap looking.

2) Playing cards because my dad desperately wanted them as favors after my BFF had them at her wedding and they come up in plastic cases that travel well. He still carries around the deck he got at her wedding and wanted the same thing for mine. People were playing cards during the reception and it was awesome. My photographer got some great pics of my grandma and uncle playing Gin Rummy.

3) Bags of Hershey Kisses because my mom wanted people to have candy. We attached these to the escort cards.

No one left any of them behind. I don't really care what happened to them after the reception.

ETA: I was going to go the "no favor" route but my mom threw a fit about how we had to have favors, people expect them, etc. She was paying, so we had favors.

flyingfoxes · October 2014

No favors here. I just can't think of anything that people would actually want.

novella1186 · October 2014

southernbelle0915 said:

Originally we were going to do "favors". And by that I mean we were going to do a DONATION FAVOR (*cringe* and queue the throwing of rotten fruit). We were all pleased with ourselves for discovering this CLICKY.

I can't remember if I got shamed here for it or if I figured out how AW it was by lurking. Either way, we didn't do it and we spent the money on an extra hour for the photo booth.

Yeah, I believe donation favors were mixed somewhere in with one of our original plans. Luckily, I started lurking on these boards and realized the same thing you did! Seemed nice in theory, but the logic in it makes it a bad idea.

ETF: words are hard

penguin44 · October 2014

No favors for me. I tried to think of all of these awesome ideas. I love to bake, so I was going to make cookies for everyone. Or maybe go the traditional route and do Jordan almonds. My DH really wanted to do matches in a cool cylinder case. But we couldn't order less than 5,000.

Then I decided it was too much trouble, so I put that money into the open bar and shuttle. I'm so glad I did. One less thing to stress over.

Liatris2010 · October 2014

I like favors and am disappointed when there aren't any or when they are awful.

All of your ideas are fine, but they seem complicated and you don't seem like you are enjoying putting them together, so I think you should go for something simpler. I like the sugar cookie idea and the photo booth idea. Or what about packaged food that is pre-wrapped (like Hershey's kisses) that you can assemble yourself, are inexpensive and avoid the germ thing. I would be quite happy with 5 kisses in some tulle.

destinationtake2 · October 2014

The photo booths are super fun!

novella1186 · October 2014

So would any of you actually want organic soap that the bride made? Or the dry rub with a recipe? Both? Neither? I was going to do different soaps with different essential oils (scents) like lavender, grapefruit, jasmine, etc with labels so people could choose which one they prefer.

If we do decide to go with favors (which now I'm leaning back towards no) which of these would be better?

novella1186 · October 2014

littlemushroom now I feel like I should have a stack of playing cards on hand!

theycallmelinz · October 2014

novella1186 said: So would any of you actually want organic soap that the bride made? Or the dry rub with a recipe? Both? Neither? I was going to do different soaps with different essential oils (scents) like lavender, grapefruit, jasmine, etc with labels so people could choose which one they prefer.
If we do decide to go with favors (which now I'm leaning back towards no) which of these would be better? --------------------------

I would love any of the 3 you mentioned, but I don't know that everyone would love them/find them useful. I guess it depends on your guests, and you know them better than I do.

ETF: Boxes MIA again

littlemushroom · October 2014

Soap I wouldn't want. Also, I think the flower scents lean heavily on being more appealing to females in general. I don't like floral scented anything, but none of the men I know like floral scents much. That is more of a female preference in my circles.

Dry rub YES I would want that, especially with a recipe. But again, I love to cook and try new things. Depends on the flavors in the rub for how widely appealing it would be to the masses.

And you can't go wrong with some playing cards!

Bubblegum5586 · October 2014

I think the playing cards are a fun idea as a deck of cards is a great thing to have! I have also seen candles a lot and have liked and used those!

levioosa · October 2014

novella1186 said:

So would any of you actually want organic soap that the bride made? Or the dry rub with a recipe? Both? Neither? I was going to do different soaps with different essential oils (scents) like lavender, grapefruit, jasmine, etc with labels so people could choose which one they prefer.

If we do decide to go with favors (which now I'm leaning back towards no) which of these would be better?

I love both of those things personally, but I don't know if they go together. I also don't know if everyone would like them (although we always say you can't please everyone). I would either do the soaps with little notes about what they are best for (lavender calming, jasmine headaches, etc). or the rub with a little recipe.

At the end of the day, if they're stressing you out and you don't have the time/money, forget about them. You are being a wonderful host and favors aren't going to make or break your wedding.

destinationtake2 · October 2014

I would want the dry rub or the soap. But even if I didn't I would totally appreciate the thought and certainly the presentation. That said, I wouldn't think of it if there were no favors at all.

SN: The last wedding I went to had personalized menus (w/ the guests names) at each place setting- it was not their favor but I got a kick out of it and will keep it forever because it had my name on it. lol (And the menu/food was amazing and I want to remember it.)

simcal18 · October 2014

I think that the dry rub idea sounds awesome--very personal to you guys and really fun if you include a recipe. Soap I would like too, but something to think about, especially if it's heavily scented, is that you probably don't want it on the tables while people are eating dinner because the scent can throw off people's enjoyment of the meal. I'd either have them passed out after dessert or have them on a table that people pass as they're leaving with a simple sign indicating that they should take one.

We're doing magnetic covers for our photo booth printouts as our "favor."

anjemon · October 2014

littlemushroom said:

I would love the dry rub because I love to cook. Also, even if someone doesn't cook, they likely know someone who does that would want it. We ended up with 3 favors. My parents were paying, but told me and then FI to pick whatever we wanted. So we did, and then my parents decided they wanted the things they would have picked anyway. Since they were paying, we had all three. Spent less than $250 for everything for 140 guests. 1) Glass coasters picked by DH and I because they were useful. I still use glass coasters I got as favors at a friend's wedding 10 years ago. No one even realizes they are from a wedding. DH liked them because they weren't cheap looking. 2) Playing cards because my dad desperately wanted them as favors after my BFF had them at her wedding and they come up in plastic cases that travel well. He still carries around the deck he got at her wedding and wanted the same thing for mine. People were playing cards during the reception and it was awesome. My photographer got some great pics of my grandma and uncle playing Gin Rummy. 3) Bags of Hershey Kisses because my mom wanted people to have candy. We attached these to the escort cards. No one left any of them behind. I don't really care what happened to them after the reception. ETA: I was going to go the "no favor" route but my mom threw a fit about how we had to have favors, people expect them, etc. She was paying, so we had favors.

Playing cards are the favor I really want to do. My FI and I are really into games (more board games than card games, but card games are fun too). I'm glad to hear everybody liked them. I have been a little bit afraid we'll end up with 50 decks of cards with our wedding date on them. And that's a heck of a hand and foot deck.

OP, I would be more interested in the dry rub than the soap. I like cooking, but I never seem to use fancy soaps. But I think it definitely depends on your crowd, do you think most of your friends would like them? How would you feel if you have a lot left after people leave them behind? (which I know sometimes happens)

thisismynickname2 · October 2014

Don't worry about your neuroses. We've all been there. I went through this with favors too.

Ultimately my MIL saved the day. I wasn't going to do them as I'd decided they were indeed a waste of money and I couldn't think of anything. But, she found-- on sale!!-- chocolate boxes that are unique to our city and even had a picture of our city skyline on them. They were perfect.

I always vote edible. I don't need another shot glass with some couple's name on them. Your dry rub idea is unique!

climbingsingle · October 2014

I didn't do favors.I never miss them at a wedding.

beachyone15 · October 2014

I vote dry-rub

ShellD13 · October 2014

We ended up doing packages of a half-dozen donuts from our favorite bakery that is very close to the park where we got married. We also had a very small wedding (only 12 including H and I) so it wasn't very expensive and most of our guests were OOT so we actually passed them out at the RD so they could have them in their hotel rooms for the morning of the wedding.

They were a huge hit! I even had some extras so my hairdresser and MUA took some home as well.

Inkdancer · October 2014

I wasn't going to do favors, but my mom found little candles in mini teacups (our centerpieces were teacups) and bought them. Everyone thought they were really cute.

I would be all about some dry rub. I would even snatch up the packets other people left behind. I LOVE FOOD. But also, if it's meaningful to you as a couple I think people will appreciate them more.

novella1186 · October 2014

Thanks, Knotties. My neuroses are subsiding. For now

My indecision is annoying me. Help, please!

Re: My indecision is annoying me. Help, please!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards