So this is kind of a rant/psa- Don't buy electronics off amazon that you're hooking up to a service provider.
I finally said fuck it and ordered cable internet from comcast (And am currently back to sitting in the corner of my room to get a weak signal from the only non password protected wifi around, so three guesses for how well that went) and got all that hooked up to a "New" modem I got from amazon prime.
Spent an hour on the phone with tech support because it wouldn't connect, only to find out that even with several people trying their best, nobody could get the stupid thing to be activated under my account- because while it works properly, it is apparently still registered under the previous owner's name and service, so I can't use it. NEW MY ASS.
They said I can get it reset at a comcast store, but as a matter of principle I'm returning this shit for a full refund and getting an ACTUALLY NEW one somewhere else. I'm not ok with a business lying to me about what I am purchasing and getting to keep my money. Don't call shit new when it was clearly used by someone else and it wasn't even reset properly.