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Dealing with opinions

ellegantdaniellegantdani member
First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
edited February 2015 in African American Weddings
Getting married in July, and I'm trying to jumpstart the bridesmaid dress search by sending the bridesmaids the dress that I like.

I'm going for something different. The wedding place has a rustic feel, it's outdoors, and it will be in July. I saw a couple of bridesmaid pictures on pinterest where the bridesmaids were wearing lace, and I thought...that would be beautiful and different.

Two out of the three like the idea.

I'm curious to know from you ladies: do you think the dress idea is ugly? I am not set on styles, I will consider any type of sleeve style, but I wanted the ivory/champagne colored lace. 

I've inserted into this thread a pic of the styles I sent to the ladies for consideration (like I said, they can pick any of those styles or a style of their choice that's not in the pic, I just want the ivory/champagne colored lace). I have also inserted a collage of inspiration for the "look" fh and I are going for. I wish I could find more African American weddings that have incorporated ivory or lace into their wedding style...but sadly I can't.

Let me know what you think ladies! 
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Re: Dealing with opinions

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    island07b2bisland07b2b member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    I like the look you are going for.  It's rustic chic to me.  The two dresses on the mannequins are super cute.  I think you have given your BMs great choices and lots of flexibility.  Did the BM who didn't like the ideas or choices say why exactly?  



    Love is the ultimate superpower.   
    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  



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    island07b2bisland07b2b member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited October 2014
    Hey came across this photo and thought you'd like to see it.  



    Love is the ultimate superpower.   
    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  



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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Hi bridey!!!!!  Girl look.  Oh, first up, Congratulations lol!   It's perfectly understandable to share all the details and plans of your day, you're excited and stuff.   The line to draw (imo) is when brides look for approval from any/everybody else.   What stuck out to me was "she didn't like the idea"  I can't tell if she doesn't like rustic weddings or wearing lace but it doesn't matter which.  How bout at her next wedding she doesn't do either of those.   This one here is yours.    Please do not allow the opinions of other people to detract from the ideas you'd like to execute on YOUR wedding day.  Next she'll be chiming in about the cake, the lights, the this, the that.  The problem if there is one with opinionated bridesmaids is that they don't know when enough is enough.  Answer the bride if she asks for your opinion, shutup otherwise.  I'm not saying don't take your friends suggestions, but because they may not know where to draw the line, you need to.  It's so sweet and loving of you to be accommodating but I would say it's equally important to stay true to your vision.  You asked her to be in your bridal party and she said yes but it's voluntary, if she feels so strongly about your choices already, she can participate in the day in another capacity.   You gave her a thousand styles to choose from and she wants to give you  kanyeshrugs?   Hayle. Naw.   At various points in my life I've worn gloves, a parasol, carried an old lady pocketbook, shit I think I even had a hat made out of a peacock (not feathers, I mean the actual body of a damn peacock).  The pernt is, if that's your friend, she will cheerfully purchase and wear the dress of your choice or she can hand out water to arriving guests. 


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    LeciaBLeciaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    sultryzulu said:
    Hi bridey!!!!!  Girl look.  Oh, first up, Congratulations lol!   It's perfectly understandable to share all the details and plans of your day, you're excited and stuff.   The line to draw (imo) is when brides look for approval from any/everybody else.   What stuck out to me was "she didn't like the idea"  I can't tell if she doesn't like rustic weddings or wearing lace but it doesn't matter which.  How bout at her next wedding she doesn't do either of those.   This one here is yours.    Please do not allow the opinions of other people to detract from the ideas you'd like to execute on YOUR wedding day.  Next she'll be chiming in about the cake, the lights, the this, the that.  The problem if there is one with opinionated bridesmaids is that they don't know when enough is enough.  Answer the bride if she asks for your opinion, shutup otherwise.  I'm not saying don't take your friends suggestions, but because they may not know where to draw the line, you need to.  It's so sweet and loving of you to be accommodating but I would say it's equally important to stay true to your vision.  You asked her to be in your bridal party and she said yes but it's voluntary, if she feels so strongly about your choices already, she can participate in the day in another capacity.   You gave her a thousand styles to choose from and she wants to give you  kanyeshrugs?   Hayle. Naw.   At various points in my life I've worn gloves, a parasol, carried an old lady pocketbook, shit I think I even had a hat made out of a peacock (not feathers, I mean the actual body of a damn peacock).  The pernt is, if that's your friend, she will cheerfully purchase and wear the dress of your choice or she can hand out water to arriving guests. 


    imageimageimageimage
    image

    Sultry.. I agree 110% .. and elle if it mattersi like the lace dresses.

    Daisypath - (PNE7)
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    ellegantdaniellegantdani member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2015
    Thank you so much ladies for your advice and for sharing these pictures. I'm adding every single one to my wedding "inspiration board". I actually told the BMs this week that they can choose their own dresses, as long as they are off white/cream/champagne and and cocktail length. I mentioned that I also would like them to be lace if possible. They have good style. One of the BMs mentioned that she's going to try to find one of the dresses I suggested because she loves the style. I guess it just gives me one less thing to worry about at the end of the day. I will be going with them when they check out the dresses though. Onto the next thing on my list: save the dates! Lol
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    ellegantdaniellegantdani member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2015
    And @sultryzulu you're right! The venue is rustic, it's outdoors, and my dress has lace in it, so I definitely feel like the BM dresses I suggested would be perfect considering that. I think she's just a little worried about how the dress will look on her.
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    Cstow06Cstow06 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    It's going to look good. As for your BM who doesn't like it "Wear the dress or come as a guess" lol
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