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Chit Chat
JCbride2015
member
How long to wait for Fi to get his ish together?
in Chit Chat
Now that I'm working a lot and can't follow up constantly on wedding-related stuff, I'm realizing how little of it Fi has been doing all along. Oops. That's partly my fault because I've had so much downtime after the bar, it was just easier for me to plan. But now I need Fi to kick his ass in gear and he's not used to helping.
We just addressed our StDs tonight and they will be in tomorrow's mail. Most of them, that is-- Fi still needs to get addresses for most of his friends. I've been asking him to do this for three or four days now. He keeps just saying he'll do it later.
He also needs to make a call about his best man/woman, and get the ball rolling for men's attire. He is close with his sister and only semi-close with his two brothers. He was toying with the idea of having both brothers as best men, but lately he has floated the idea of having his sister as Best Woman. She has actually hinted this to him and I think, frankly, it's the obvious choice. They are very close. Fi seems a little bothered by the traditional gender split in the wedding party, though. I am just worried that if he waits much longer to ask his Best Person, they will feel like an afterthought or B-listed.
How much do I bother him about these things? I'm thinking the Knottie answer is bother him about the addresses, not so much about the Best Person. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to send out the bulk of the StDs (both families and my friends) tomorrow morning and continue reminding him to get them out to his friends ASAP.
"I'm not a rude bitch. I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."
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Re: How long to wait for Fi to get his ish together?
Not that ultimatums are great, but even just asking to have it by a specfic time could help.
And, maybe suggest he make a decision on his Best person in a similar manner?
We're good now, and he knows he needs to be more grateful and appreciative, but goddamn, was I pissed for a few hours.
In other words, I feel you, JC. I've taken to just letting FI deal with his friends how he sees fit. One reminder, and then I'm out. If he doesn't get an address or doesn't follow up with someone, that's on him and he can deal with the consequences like the adult that he is.
ETF words
The one thing that drove me nuts was his refusal to take initiative regarding the men's attire. He decided he wanted to wear vests rather than suits because we were having an outdoor, summer wedding. He found a style of vest he liked online, but it was a denim material which was way to casual (he agreed on this). He then completely stopped looking for attire. About 4 months before the wedding I had to (almost literally) drag him to a tux rental place to look at vests and pick one out for his groomsmen to order. He still wanted this other style vest, but we had not been able to find it in a material suitable for the wedding, so he had (allegedly) been looking into getting one custom made. I had him reserve a vest rental for himself, just in case the custom made thing didn't work out. Good thing I did. He never followed up on it and would have been completely vest-less otherwise.
I mentioned this recently on another thread, but I have been bugging DH for WEEKS to mail a thank you note to his co-worker who came to our wedding. The original TY card got sent back because the address was wrong (even though we know it's correct). DH had said that he would take it to work and send it through inter-department mail... It's been like 2 months. There's literally nothing I can do at this point. The thank you note is at DH's work, just sitting there waiting to be mailed. I know this guy well enough that I'm sure he won't take offense, but stiiiillllll...