Hi everyone!
I'm new here! I'm 30 and living with my boyfriend. We are not engaged but things seem to be heading that direction :]
I'd like to pick your brains about something. I have a bit of a complicated family history that makes things awkward for wedding invitations. I know that it's going to be a ways down the road, but this is something I'm going to need to figure out anyway. I thought it might be a good idea to have it done before I actually get into the situation of coming up with a guest list. Please bear with me as I blurb the watered-down version of things
My parents have been divorced for the last 10-ish years. They had an unhealthy relationship while I was growing up and my mother wants absolutely nothing to do with him. My father had started to grow distant while I was a child and with all the infidelity and bad decisions he had made, I lost a lot of respect for him as I got older. He remarried about 5 (I think?) years ago and I didn't even know until his new wife emailed me, out of the blue, trying to tell me what to do with my life! I was beyond enraged; not only was this complete stranger trying to tell me to quit school and work to make money, but she was also trying to tell me how to interact with my father. He knew about what she was doing and allowed it to happen for reasons I can't understand. Since then, our relationship has been extremely strained. Once or twice a year I get an email from him with something along the lines of "How are you, I'm thinking of you, miss you" while forgetting about my birthday or the holidays.
A while back, my mom and I were on the topic of marriage and weddings. She said that if I invited my dad to my wedding, she would not attend. This caught me off guard and I was initially quite upset. Having simmered on it since then and thinking things over, I've cooled off and have come to terms with it. I am, after all, much closer to my mother, I've seen the pain and suffering my dad put her through, and upsetting her so much just would not be worth the drama. When it comes down to it, I'd much rather have her there than my dad.
My main concern is: do I invite relatives on my dad's side of the family? I haven't spoken with or seen my grandparents in at least 5 years and even longer for my aunts and uncles. I keep in touch occasionally with one cousin. Even though we're distant, my mom and I are on good terms with them. And how do I tell my dad that he isn't invited to his own daughter's wedding? I'm so tempted to just say, "Hey, you didn't bother to tell me you were getting remarried and invite me to your wedding, so you're not invited to mine." That seems so spiteful. Though, honestly, I don't even know that it would upset him all that much; he'd probably be inconvenienced since I would not invite his wife and he'd have to face family.
Anyways, thoughts?
Also, is it weird to walk down the aisle alone? :x
Thanks!
