Figuring out dates

timewellwasted93 · October 2014

First an AW: I got engaged this weekend!! I'm so happy and excited to start planning our wedding!

I'm pretty sure at least 75% of the people I talked to asked if we had set a date yet...no, it's only been 20 minutes. Give me a chance to stop crying first, geez.

We actually have discussed a few dates now, and I'd like some opinions on them. FI has a very set work schedule (he's a cop and works 6 days on and 3 off), and while it wouldn't be hard for him to take off, he wants to invite his squad. We have to make sure that the wedding is on a day they're off, plus ideally the next day so no one has to worry about work.

We also would like a fall wedding. So we're left with 3 possible dates (unless we do a Friday wedding but I may be in graduate school so that would be a last resort). FI doesn't want a Sunday wedding either, so it's really just these three weekends unless something changes. He also doesn't want a long engagement.

The first weekend is August 29th. Not a fall wedding, and our absolute last preference, but we know we need options. If I get accepted into grad school, that would most likely be my first week of class. I just don't think it would work out too well, or I would be just insanely stressed out. I can talk to professors if I get married later in the semester and plan ahead for the week (homework or test or whatever), but that first week I'd have no idea what to expect. I won't know about grad school until the spring, which around here may mean slim pickings on venues.

The next weekend is September 26th. This would be perfect, except it's FI's brother's (and most likely best man) birthday. Honestly, if we ask him I think he'd be okay with it, but he's kind of an AW. Anytime FI has some big announcement, brother tries to one -up it. FFIL has even pointed this out. I don't really care, he can do what he wants, but he might not like sharing his birthday. I'd get him his favorite dessert and sing him happy birthday though. FI isn't exactly keen on that date, but I think it's the best one.

The last weekend is Halloween. Which would be kind of cool, but we have a handful of kids in our families/among our friends that are of typical trick-or-treating age. Also, this is one of my best friend's BF's favorite holiday, and he may not like that he wouldn't be able to go out to the bars with his friends until later (FI is also in the "It has to be an evening wedding" crowd. I can't believe how opinionated he is already!). I'm sure there's a few other people in this camp that we would be inviting. I know declines tend to be a bit higher for weddings on holidays, so I'm hesitant on this. We wouldn't do a theme, but I would love to set up a huge candy bar with our favorite fun-sized candies and let everyone "trick-or-treat."

We could also do the first weekend of December (I think, it's either that or right after Thanksgiving, which I would not consider, but I need to check). That's also a tricky time for exams and final papers/projects in college, plus it's colder and later than what we want. It may be our last back-up date if we fall in love with a venue that's only available then.

Obviously in the end this depends on when whichever venue we choose is available, and what our VIPs say, but I'd like to hear some perspectives on Halloween weddings, VIP birthdays, and anyone that's ever done something super stressful at the same time as a wedding. Is there anything I didn't think of? We'll start visiting venues very soon, so I want to have an idea of what would be the best weekend.

Sorry that was so long!

phira · October 2014

My aunt got married on Halloween and it was a blaaaaast. I was upset before the wedding because I was 12 and I wanted to go to the Halloween school dance (same night as the rehearsal dinner) and I was supposed to go trick-or-treating with my friends. But I ended up having a really fun time.

Our wedding date is my ex-sister-in-law's birthday. My partner and I knew we wanted to get married on our anniversary before we knew that my brother was getting a divorce, so we did have to think about that. But in the end, it really didn't matter so much. Like, we weren't having our wedding on her birthday AT her. Obviously, it's a non-issue now.

I think that you need to go with whatever date works for you. No matter which date you pick, you'll be picking a date that's inconvenient for some people.

littlemushroom · October 2014

I wouldn't let a birthday of a VIP be a reason to not have the wedding. My wedding was the same day as my Aunt and Uncle's 45th anniversary. They still came to the wedding, got to celebrate their milestone anniversary with the entire family, and we played "their" song and had the DJ give them a shout out. Frankly if your FBIL is such an AW, he should love the idea of having everyone together on his bday plus having people sing/whatever else you would do.

I also don't think Halloween is such a big holiday that it will greatly impact your attendance.

Basically, it will be virtually impossible to come up with a date that isn't significant to someone close to you. You just have to pick the date that works best for you and the few people you absolutely have to have there.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

You should definitely talk to venues before you really get your heart set on a date.

That said, I would try to plan more around the things you can control/know for sure than the things you can't/don't. You know you'll be starting school, and know that'll be a stressful week. That sounds like a no-go. You don't know for sure that the same people in his squad will be working the same shift a year+ from now - that can change. You don't know that FBIL will be a scene-stealer over it being his birthday.

The Halloween thing...only you know how you'd feel to have your anniversary on Halloween every year. Don't try to plan around whether you think people might decline because of it, because you can't predict or control that with any date. Are you going to want to go to Halloween parties on your anniversary? If you're planning on having (or already have) kids, are you going to want to go trick-or-treating on your anniversary? Your wedding won't just be on Halloween ONE year, it will be EVERY year.

timewellwasted93 · October 2014

@lolo883 I'm not really set on any of the dates, just the time of year.

I definitely think that date in August is not going to happen. As for the birthday, I hope FBIL doesn't care, and maybe he would love the attention, but for some odd reason FI cares. I will still take FBIL's opinion into consideration though.

As for FI's job, he might be leaving this squad soon, but as a detective (it sounds like a done deal at this point). It would make all of his weekends free, but these particular people he still wants to invite so he's following this weekend rule. The department he works for is small and they rarely make changes in squads except for promotions or new recruits, and they don't change entire squads around, just move maybe one person. So it is possible that things might change, but it will hopefully only inconvenience one person instead of all 5. I believe in the past year, they've only made 1 major change in squads (for promotions), and moved one person to a new squad. I believe the detective is coming back to the street, so FI and he are pretty much just switching jobs, with no squad movement necessary.

I'm telling you now, FI is stubborn. He wants to invite his squad, and he doesn't want to bother his brother. I think I'm in for quite a ride during our engagement.

As for Halloween, I don't really care. We can't always celebrate our anniversary on the day it falls, nor can we go out for Valentine's Day on the actual day very often. Our dating anniversary is Friday and I will see him for all of 30 minutes, and we celebrated this past Saturday. I think I would be fine hanging out with little monsters that day. Plus, when the kids get older (if we have kids), they can fend for themselves on Halloween, and we can do what we want. But that is something I never thought about, and will bring up with FI.

LittlePeachBlossom · October 2014

I would go with 9/26, personally. The deeper you get into the semester, the more grad work you'll have. Midterms tend to fall in October, projects in November and finals in December. Not sure if you'll be going full time or part time while working full time but regardless it's all very demanding.

lacqueredlover · October 2014

Ok this seems to be a lot of demands. So basically, the only date that you guys can do to make your fiance happy is halloween. That's what I'm reading. Can't disturb his brother's birthday, has to be one of only THREE dates in the entire year, this seems like a lot. Honestly we all have to compromise in our wedding planning and I think that you both are going to have to make a compromise here with the date, either to be in the fall and on another date so maybe his whole squad can't come or else something else.

for the record, I wouldn't plan my wedding on my brother's birthday because there are 51 other Saturday evenings in a year I could get married but that's just me. As for Halloween, wouldnt' be my preference however as someone who just looked at wedding venues for an October wedding next year, I can tell you that they will be cheaper on that date! (And it being your best friends boyfriends favorite holiday to go to the bars just shouldn't factor into your decision at all, he's an adult, he'll deal with it if you decide to go with that day.)

lacqueredlover · October 2014

And congrats on getting engaged!!!

moutonrouge · October 2014

I would contact venues to get dates they're available before selecting one of these three as *the one*. It sounds like you've discussed a guest list which is a good first step before selecting a venue. I suggest venue first because if you are going based on one date, you might have to pass up on your ideal venue (or a bunch of ideal venues) because they are booked that day. With three, you have a slighter higher chance of finding a match.

luckya23 · October 2014

Congrats on your engagement!

Why are you so set on "fall"? August 26 is too early anyway for fall, you have factors against you for late September (and depending on your area it may not feel very fall-like anyway), and Halloween also has factors against it - and I personally wouldn't want people to assume I was doing any sort of Halloween theme. Only the September date in my area would have any chance of having leaf color.

If I were you I would get it over with before school starts if possible. I went to grad school with a girl who got married over spring break our last semester, though.

If I'm reading right there only 12 weekends in the whole year that work for your FI's friends? Why are you cutting it back to only 3, which all have problems too?

timewellwasted93 · October 2014

We're not selecting one date and then looking at venues. We are leaving the three open, but if we have an option on dates, we'd like to know the best one too choose.

@lacquered lover Thanks! And I agree the three options kind of sucks. Perhaps FI will change his mind when he sees that getting a specific date is tough, but again, stubborn man is stubborn.

The only thing I'm worried about is falling right at the beginning or end of the semester, when I know I will end up the most stressed. I can work around the rest of the school work if I have advanced notice. Other than it occurring in the fall, I don't have much of a preference what weekend the wedding happens.

It's also nice to hear that you noticed it's cheaper on Halloween. I'm hoping that's true in my area as well, and maybe more venues would be available that day.

I mentioned the dates to my mom, and she got so excited for a Halloween wedding. She immediately asked if it could be a Corpse Bride wedding. That would be cool, if I was into themes. She was politely turned down.

timewellwasted93 · October 2014

luckya23 said:

Congrats on your engagement!
Why are you so set on "fall"? August 26 is too early anyway for fall, you have factors against you for late September (and depending on your area it may not feel very fall-like anyway), and Halloween also has factors against it - and I personally wouldn't want people to assume I was doing any sort of Halloween theme. Only the September date in my area would have any chance of having leaf color.
If I were you I would get it over with before school starts if possible. I went to grad school with a girl who got married over spring break our last semester, though.
If I'm reading right there only 12 weekends in the whole year that work for your FI's friends? Why are you cutting it back to only 3, which all have problems too?

One of FI's stubborn opinions is he doesn't want a long engagement. So 2016 is too far away for him.

I have never enjoyed the spring and I feel like we don't have enough time to plan and pay for a wedding that can include all of our families and friends that we wish to invite. And I hate the heat in the summer. Just straight up do not enjoy going outside and getting sweaty. Obviously I'd have an indoor wedding if we went with the summer, but simply walking to the car in a wedding dress sounds like pure torture (another reason why that August date sucks, but I can compromise a bit). FI doesn't want a winter wedding, but I have no idea why.

Fall has always been perfect weather, and it gives us time to plan and also have a higher budget. But the possibility of grad school makes it tough. There's a trade-off to every season, and most weekends. For those 12 weekends for his squad, pretty much every weekend sucks, either due to the heat of summer, or being too close for comfort for planning and monetary reasons. Or landing on a holiday. Somehow his squad lucked out on holidays for next year, but it kinda screws us. Plus, if he doesn't make detective, its easier on us to plan those weekends because he can only take off three months ahead of time, and he can't have off at all on certain weekends.

Also, FMIL is getting married in the Spring, a cousin and my sister are getting married in the summer, and FI's best friend is getting married next year (most likely) but no date set yet. We're trying to spread it out a little bit for our family and friends' sake.

There's a lot of trade-offs to every season. Like PP said, it's hard to find a date that won't inconvenience at least one person or fall on some important date. I'm just trying to figure out the lesser inconvenience.

Haven't you ever thought about what you consider to be the perfect time of year to get married? One of my friends loves the spring, and made sure she got it. Another is specifically set on June (I have no idea why) and I hope she makes it work for her. Another doesn't care at all and will take whatever she wants.

I compromised on that August date, with it not falling in the fall, and dealing with heat. Plus the possible stress of school. I knew we'd need another date, with his restrictions, and I'm the only one that it would really inconvenience. It's still my last choice so far though. I'd rather go with Halloween and have some families decline than fight with my enemy, the sun.

I hope FI learns the meaning of compromise when it comes to the wedding. He's usually pretty good about things, but I have never seen him have this many opinions before. And we've only seriously discussed the guest list and date! We've just started working on the budget, which has surprisingly been smooth sailing...so far. Venue searching should be fun.

penguin44 · October 2014

I really think you need to look at venues. Even having three dates open seems too narrow.

We had two whole months of dates as our top options. Saturday or Sunday. It didn't work out at all. We ended up outside of our range.

I would leave your options as open as possible while finding a venue. Good luck.

redwoodoriginal · October 2014

as someone in grad school, I would do the August date. It's SO SO SO much easier to get married the first week of classes. While grad school first week of classes isn't as much of a joke as undergrad first week, there's a LOT more leeway for the first week than for the middle of the semester. One of my coworkers got married the weekend after the first week of classes and all her professors were super understanding and she even went on her honeymoon for a week. I would much rather get married at the beginning of the semester.

You usually get your syllabus a week or more before school starts, so you can plan ahead and figure out what you may miss and talk to your professors early enough where it's not a big deal, vs missing stuff in october - when youre in the middle of the semester.

timewellwasted93 · October 2014

sopacethestairs said:

as someone in grad school, I would do the August date. It's SO SO SO much easier to get married the first week of classes. While grad school first week of classes isn't as much of a joke as undergrad first week, there's a LOT more leeway for the first week than for the middle of the semester. One of my coworkers got married the weekend after the first week of classes and all her professors were super understanding and she even went on her honeymoon for a week. I would much rather get married at the beginning of the semester.

You usually get your syllabus a week or more before school starts, so you can plan ahead and figure out what you may miss and talk to your professors early enough where it's not a big deal, vs missing stuff in october - when youre in the middle of the semester.

If we end up in October, I am hopeful that I would be getting invites out before classes started, and maybe having most of centerpieces or whatever done too. I hope the only thing I'd have left would be following up on RSVPs, making a seating chart and escort cards, and buying candy. Obviously I'd have to meet with vendors, finalize some things, but I'm pretty sure FI could handle everything if needed. I don't think I'd need to miss any classes. My friend that got married this past spring worked straight up to her rehearsal dinner. We also don't plan on going on a honeymoon right away, no matter when we choose.

However, I'm kind of a procrastinator, so I have no idea if I would actually accomplish everything before the semester.

I honestly have no clue what to expect for grad school. This may be all wishful thinking and I'm going to hate myself for choosing a date during the semester.

@penguin44 please come explain that to FI. He doesn't seem to understand the demand for wedding venues. I am open to other dates, and I'm sure we'll have enough trouble finding a venue that's open on any of those three. But when it comes down to it, the question will be is a particular venue more important than the guests he wants to invite? It might really narrow down our venue list, but he's willing to take that risk.

penguin44 · October 2014

timewellwasted93 said:

show previous quotes

sopacethestairs said:

as someone in grad school, I would do the August date. It's SO SO SO much easier to get married the first week of classes. While grad school first week of classes isn't as much of a joke as undergrad first week, there's a LOT more leeway for the first week than for the middle of the semester. One of my coworkers got married the weekend after the first week of classes and all her professors were super understanding and she even went on her honeymoon for a week. I would much rather get married at the beginning of the semester.

You usually get your syllabus a week or more before school starts, so you can plan ahead and figure out what you may miss and talk to your professors early enough where it's not a big deal, vs missing stuff in october - when youre in the middle of the semester.

If we end up in October, I am hopeful that I would be getting invites out before classes started, and maybe having most of centerpieces or whatever done too. I hope the only thing I'd have left would be following up on RSVPs, making a seating chart and escort cards, and buying candy. Obviously I'd have to meet with vendors, finalize some things, but I'm pretty sure FI could handle everything if needed. I don't think I'd need to miss any classes. My friend that got married this past spring worked straight up to her rehearsal dinner. We also don't plan on going on a honeymoon right away, no matter when we choose.

However, I'm kind of a procrastinator, so I have no idea if I would actually accomplish everything before the semester.

I honestly have no clue what to expect for grad school. This may be all wishful thinking and I'm going to hate myself for choosing a date during the semester.

@penguin44 please come explain that to FI. He doesn't seem to understand the demand for wedding venues. I am open to other dates, and I'm sure we'll have enough trouble finding a venue that's open on any of those three. But when it comes down to it, the question will be is a particular venue more important than the guests he wants to invite? It might really narrow down our venue list, but he's willing to take that risk.

Venue budget was more important than dates. Haha. Obviously VIPs are important too. After looking at some venue options and dates, I would discuss with your FI who his VIPs are. He can't accommodate all of his guests with the date.

bellaluna290 · October 2014

I feel like your FI isn't willing to compromise on his VIPs. Those who want to be at your wedding will be there, no matter the date. Luckily, I got engaged during my last year of grad school. A friend of mine did get engaged months before we started out program, and she got married about a month before our second year started.

I do suggest finding a venue first; some places where I live book 1+ year in advance. You might not be able to have the Fall 2015 wedding you want if you don't get on the venue soon. It's your wedding too, so don't be afraid to voice your opinion if you think that the venue should be a priority.

Sugargirl1019 · October 2014

I would go with either the brothers birthday, or the Friday before Halloween. I KNOW you said no Fridays, but maybe it's an option. Depending on your location, the first two weeks of November can be BEAUTIFUL for fall! I might look at the weekend after Halloween! My best friends was November 2 and DH was best man for one on Nov 17 - it was perfect! Btw both were outside!

Def check with venues though for availability though.

larrygaga · October 2014

As someone who has been a BM in many a labor day and other holiday weekend weddings (Fi's family thinks it's really awesome to get married when everyone is busy being with their families) I say Sep 26. Honestly I'm sick of holiday weekend weddings and I would like that time to do my own thing. His brother will just have to get over the birthday thing. You could always sing to him at the reception and bring him a little cupcake with a candle, which is something we are doing at mine because FSIL has a birthday the day before our wedding.

EDIT: December would work as well. Near a holiday isn't as big a deal as actually on the holiday weekend.

I have been to 3 labor day weekend weddings, and easter weekend wedding and I have a thanksgiving weekend wedding coming up. It's irritating as fuck, especially if guests have to travel.

DOUBLE EDIT: Oh shoots, I didn't realize Aug 29 wasn't labor day weekend this year. Well if you are flexible with it no being fall, I would say this weekend!!!

LittlePeachBlossom · October 2014

timewellwasted93 said:

show previous quotes

sopacethestairs said:

as someone in grad school, I would do the August date. It's SO SO SO much easier to get married the first week of classes. While grad school first week of classes isn't as much of a joke as undergrad first week, there's a LOT more leeway for the first week than for the middle of the semester. One of my coworkers got married the weekend after the first week of classes and all her professors were super understanding and she even went on her honeymoon for a week. I would much rather get married at the beginning of the semester.

You usually get your syllabus a week or more before school starts, so you can plan ahead and figure out what you may miss and talk to your professors early enough where it's not a big deal, vs missing stuff in october - when youre in the middle of the semester.

If we end up in October, I am hopeful that I would be getting invites out before classes started, and maybe having most of centerpieces or whatever done too. I hope the only thing I'd have left would be following up on RSVPs, making a seating chart and escort cards, and buying candy. Obviously I'd have to meet with vendors, finalize some things, but I'm pretty sure FI could handle everything if needed. I don't think I'd need to miss any classes. My friend that got married this past spring worked straight up to her rehearsal dinner. We also don't plan on going on a honeymoon right away, no matter when we choose.

However, I'm kind of a procrastinator, so I have no idea if I would actually accomplish everything before the semester.

I honestly have no clue what to expect for grad school. This may be all wishful thinking and I'm going to hate myself for choosing a date during the semester.

@penguin44 please come explain that to FI. He doesn't seem to understand the demand for wedding venues. I am open to other dates, and I'm sure we'll have enough trouble finding a venue that's open on any of those three. But when it comes down to it, the question will be is a particular venue more important than the guests he wants to invite? It might really narrow down our venue list, but he's willing to take that risk.

I think you're underestimating the amount of schoolwork you will have. Grad school is not easy to multitask around. There's TONS of reading, weekly assignments for each class, forum discussions, team meetings, exams and projects. It's all very fast paced and missing just one class sets you back a lot.

lacqueredlover · October 2014

Also, I'm in grad school now (while working full time) and just planning my wedding. I will be done by the time we actually get married but there is NO way I would be getting married during the school year. I would seriously reconsider next summer as an option.

redwoodoriginal · October 2014

LittlePeachBlossom said:

show previous quotes

timewellwasted93 said:

sopacethestairs said:

as someone in grad school, I would do the August date. It's SO SO SO much easier to get married the first week of classes. While grad school first week of classes isn't as much of a joke as undergrad first week, there's a LOT more leeway for the first week than for the middle of the semester. One of my coworkers got married the weekend after the first week of classes and all her professors were super understanding and she even went on her honeymoon for a week. I would much rather get married at the beginning of the semester.

You usually get your syllabus a week or more before school starts, so you can plan ahead and figure out what you may miss and talk to your professors early enough where it's not a big deal, vs missing stuff in october - when youre in the middle of the semester.

If we end up in October, I am hopeful that I would be getting invites out before classes started, and maybe having most of centerpieces or whatever done too. I hope the only thing I'd have left would be following up on RSVPs, making a seating chart and escort cards, and buying candy. Obviously I'd have to meet with vendors, finalize some things, but I'm pretty sure FI could handle everything if needed. I don't think I'd need to miss any classes. My friend that got married this past spring worked straight up to her rehearsal dinner. We also don't plan on going on a honeymoon right away, no matter when we choose.

However, I'm kind of a procrastinator, so I have no idea if I would actually accomplish everything before the semester.

I honestly have no clue what to expect for grad school. This may be all wishful thinking and I'm going to hate myself for choosing a date during the semester.

@penguin44 please come explain that to FI. He doesn't seem to understand the demand for wedding venues. I am open to other dates, and I'm sure we'll have enough trouble finding a venue that's open on any of those three. But when it comes down to it, the question will be is a particular venue more important than the guests he wants to invite? It might really narrow down our venue list, but he's willing to take that risk.

I think you're underestimating the amount of schoolwork you will have. Grad school is not easy to multitask around. There's TONS of reading, weekly assignments for each class, forum discussions, team meetings, exams and projects. It's all very fast paced and missing just one class sets you back a lot.

QFT. This x million.

even if you decide not go to on a honeymoon - how do you know you won't have class on friday before your wedding or a huge exam that day? or the week of? my experience w grad school classes doesn't have traditional 1 midterm, 1 final. For example, i have one class with exams spaced out every few weeks. one the third week of sept (right before your sept 26th date), one end of october (no halloween for me this year), and one first week of december(so long early dec wedding). Obviously that is just one class in my program, but I've had classes where I had exams every two weeks. and even without exams, other classes were SO heavy and busy, i COULDN'T procrastinate even if i wanted to. What if you have an exam scheduled for the Monday after your wedding? You can't possibly tell me you will spend the weekend or the week before studying.

I seriously recommend the August date. the LAST thing you want to be worried about during the days leading up to your wedding is whether all your school work is done. I had an extremely low-key, none of that DIY stuff, and I still had stressful things happen in the days before the wedding. I didn't relax until the reception but really really relax until Sunday afternoon when H & I sat down on our couch and fell asleep.

ETA: I also think professors will be more accomodating for something in the beginning of the semester vs the middle, and if it's your first semester they might be hardasses and say "too bad so sad, you knew you were starting this program you should have planned better" - yes that has happened to ppl i know who wanted to do x,y,z during the middle of the semester.

AprilH81 · October 2014

I really wanted a fall wedding but since he proposed in June we didn't have enough time for a fall wedding unless we waited a year and a half and I wasn't interested in that.

I would seriously consider a winter wedding. You can save so much money by having it in the off season and where you don't save money you can have your pick of vendors. We saved about $6,000 on our winter wedding for 80 people (so a huge chunk of our budget).

If your FI (congrats!!!) won't budge on the Saturday, evening, non-brother birthday, non-holiday criteria you may need to consider a winter wedding to make everything else work.

phira · October 2014

I'm in grad school, but I'm in my 4th year, and I'm in STEM, so while I'm definitely busier in the fall than I am during the summer, it hasn't been that much more difficult for me to get married in November than it would have been to get married over the summer.

timewellwasted93 · October 2014

Thanks everyone for the extra things to consider!

I know I have no idea what I'm getting into for grad school. The only thing that worries me about getting married right beforehand is that the lady I used to nanny for started grad school, and the entire month of August she had tons of orientation and they required her to go on a trip. I thought it was super ridiculous, but I am applying to that same program and it worries me that they wont make an exception.

I can always plan ahead for tests and work that I know about though, but again I have no idea the workload I may end up with. I'm pretty sure no matter what, school is going to get in the way and I'll be stressed with it. I might re-visit the winter idea and see why FI is against it. It would definitely at least give us a few more weekends to look at. Plus, the color scheme I love of very dark blue and very pale blue would probably look amazing at a winter wedding...

@sopacethestairs This semester is the first time I've had a class with just a midterm and a final! I'm so used to having at least one test a week during the semesters, plus lab work or papers or a project or something. I'm actually worried about this class, since there are so few grades. I am also used to having four labs, plus doing my own research, and working (and somehow sleeping) that I think I'm prepared for the demand of grad school. I hope. Ya'll are scaring me a bit.

But thank you everyone. FI and I will re-evaluate how we're going to go about this. Maybe he'll consider other weekends that his squad works, or we'll look into the winter.

emmaaa · October 2014

I had always wanted a wedding in the fall but then FI's college schedule got in the way and I fell in love with the idea of a winter wedding. You could do it during your winter break and not have to worry about school work and get a honeymoon.

We're getting married 12/27, yep, two days after Christmas. I'm crazy.

JennyColada · October 2014

Something that was helpful to me and DH when picking our date was to remind ourselves that this date will be our anniversary forever. We were originally thinking a July ceremony, and when we were planning HM options DH's response to the dates re: work schedules was "I can make it work." Well, yea, but can you "make it work" every year until ??? So it was helpful for us to try to pick a time that we think will be roughly convenient every year (anniversary trips and all). That really helped us narrow down a general timeframe.

jackannlu · October 2014

I know a lot of people say not to pick a date until you reach out to venues, but for work reasons, my FI and I picked a date before we contacted venues. We both decided that the date was more important to us since we weren't in love with any one particular "dream" venue. So I picked my date, and contacted venues. My first questions was 'Is there availability April 18?' If the answer was no, I moved on. So if you have a preferred venue picked out in your head, yeah don't pick your date yet until you reach out to that venue. But if the date is more important, then choose what which is more convenient for you guys, and then you'll have to search for a venue that has that date available.

timewellwasted93 · October 2014

JennyColada said:

Something that was helpful to me and DH when picking our date was to remind ourselves that this date will be our anniversary forever. We were originally thinking a July ceremony, and when we were planning HM options DH's response to the dates re: work schedules was "I can make it work." Well, yea, but can you "make it work" every year until ??? So it was helpful for us to try to pick a time that we think will be roughly convenient every year (anniversary trips and all). That really helped us narrow down a general timeframe.

SITB

Completely random, but my family used to go to Disney World right after Halloween, which conveniently my birthday falls during that week. It was great! No crowds because school was in session, Halloween was over, and Christmas hadn't come around. Plus, no school for a week!

Also: free dessert for me everywhere! I was a bit spoiled on my birthdays as a child.

So I wouldn't mind a Halloween anniversary, the more I think about it.

@emmaaa Christmas is my favorite time of year, and I'm currently trying to convince FI that we could have a Christmas-themed wedding if we do it during my break. Or a snowy wedding. I know I said I'm not into themes, but it's Christmas!

Mostly he's worried about snow if we wait until winter. It's so hit or miss around here with the weather. This year is supposed to be crazy.

But it looks like we have a few more date options to consider, which makes me feel a lot better than just having 3.

lovemyrunner · October 2014

I agree with @sopacethestairs on the date in regards to school. As a professional student working on her second Masters I can attest to the fact that it will be MUCH easier to work around your schedule during the first week than the middle of the semester. I wouldn't even want to think about doing it at the end of a semester!

Figuring out dates

Re: Figuring out dates

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