I'm a bridesmaid (there are 5 of us) in a wedding that's in a few months, and have been lurking on here long before. You guys always have the best advice!
I know and understand being in the bridal party means I have to put work in, and I already have put quite a bit in (which is a lot more than the others).
When they (the MOB) asked me to address shower invites, I was there. (The only people there were the MOB and I). I ended up addressing all 150 myself. When they asked me to attend 2 different makeup parties, I was there for both (and the almost hour long commute there), while the other bridesmaids were only invited to 1 of the parties. The MOH has admitted to everybody that she doesn't want it, and won't be doing everything. I've made countless trips out to the dress shop every few months because they keep effing up the dress because their sizing sucks and the color is a special dye-lot. I have had to find my own hairdresser as we're on our own for it and the bride has only made hair appointments for herself, her mom, and her MOH.
Anyway, enough pointless venting. I understand that is all common wedding stuff that has to be done and is my responsibility as a bridesmaid. What I'm here to ask is about buying gifts for the wedding shower.
And by gifts, I mean for the guests. I was asked to buy Bath and Body Works soap to give to everyone who comes to the bridal shower (because the soaps are just SO ADORABLE)-which is in a little under a week. I had no clue that spending my money buying favors for guests was a part of bridesmaids duties. This is my first time being in a bridal party, and I haven't even been to any weddings that I can remember.
Am I just whining, or is this a normal request?
I figured I'd come back just to do a quick update about how the rest of the wedding planning and things went.
I was talking with another bridesmaid at the shower (groom's sister) and she told me that she ended up doing all the work decorating the favors herself and that she ended up making invitations for the shower all by herself (apparently MOB didn't bother to tell her I would have helped if she wanted). We ended up spending most of the shower snarking on every detail and she ditched the head table to be with her friends instead.
MOH and MOB ended up getting me to write the list of gifts during the shower and MOH spent the whole time telling me I wasn't doing it right but refused to take over the job.
My boyfriend (Brother of bride), was given the title head usher and told to roll out the runner; they told him during the rehearsal. He was BEYOND pissed.
Day of the wedding (Also her parents' 30th wedding anniversary): It was abnormally cold and started raining. No-one had power, so one bridesmaid had to wash her hair in the sink at the church and I had to do my hair by myself (none of us had actually matching hair) The reception hall had lost power the night before so MOB ended up having my mom stop by the hall and check on everything. MOH refused to help with the Bride's dress, so I ended up doing that. No-one would help MOB with anything, so I did. Everyone refused to run to the car for anything (stairs are hard), so I did. I then got to hear everyone complaining about how their feet hurt. Bride and Groom were very indifferent throughout the whole thing. After the wedding, they barely looked at each other on the way to the hall. However, I witnessed the groom looking glumly down at his ring a few times.
At the hall: Power was out and there were no generators were anywhere to be found. The other halls (that paid more) were given candles and lights for their tables while ours was dark. The groom fell off the stage that we were sitting on and really wacked up his knee. Food was TERRIBLE and I was the only one who got the Bride and Groom stuff to drink. I had 5/6 people (most who I didn't know), come up to me and start to talk to me about my future wedding.
Day After: Bride and Groom decided it would be a good idea to have the bridal party over to their house to eat and watch them open presents. Guess who ended up having the job to put them in the 'gift room'? That's right, me! They even opened the cards are were complaining about how much money people gave them (the newlywed doctors should have MUCH more money to give, as they're DOCTORS and NEWLYWED, they also should have money left from their wedding to give)
After: Over a month after the wedding and the pictures are nowhere to be found. Bride and Groom are still very indifferent but have AW moments. MOB has taken to talking to me and my bf about the whole thing, and about 'who we're not inviting next time'. She has corned ladies at church to find out why they didn't show to the wedding and spends her days at a ladies group, crying about how she's not a grandmother yet.
In conclusion- You guys were right. It was a hot mess and I should have stepped up and told them 'no' from the beginning.