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TY note question - send them all out at once?

dcbride86dcbride86 member
500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

My fiance's family threw us a party last weekend, and several people gave us gifts.  Ideally, I would have finished ALL of the TY notes by now, but my grandmother has been sick, so I've had to go see her right after work a few days this week, which somewhat limits the time I have to write notes.  Anyway, I'm almost done and will finish them this weekend for sure.

My question is - should I send out each TY note as it's written, or wait until they are all finished?  FI's family can be a bit sensitive, and I remember when a few invitations to our engagement party were sent *one* day later (because my fiance needed to double check their addresses, but apparently didn't realize that until last minute), they noted that some members of the family got theirs before others.  Should I wait until everyone in the family's is done before sending them out? 

This is also a question for wedding gifts, btw - do I send each one out as it is finished, or (assuming I got the gifts at the same time) wait until I've finished an entire group of people's notes (my family; his family; etc.) and then send out that groups?

 

Thanks!

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Re: TY note question - send them all out at once?

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Here's my recommendation: 
    For the gifts given directly at the party, send them all at the same time.  Obviously the post office won't deliver all on the same day, but if people are part of the circle and compare notes, it'll look odd if some showed up long before the others. I felt really bad because one of our most generous gift givers, well, for some odd reason the post office returned-to-sender her card. If her mother compared notes with her, it would look like she wasn't thanked for weeks! Cringe. 

    Any other gifts that show up between now and your wedding, send the cards out as the gifts come in (but don't actually use the gifts, I believe is the rule). After the wedding, send notes in one big batch or in circles.  
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    For gifts we got all at once (showers and wedding),, we sent them in waves according to social/generational circles as soon as we could get each wave written, to avoid what you mentioned - one aunt getting a thank you, mentioning it to another aunt, she says she didn't get one. (And couldn't finish them all in one day to send at the same time.) Obviously there could still be delivery differences from USPS, but we did the best we could. 

    For gifts that arrived in the mail, the thank you note went out the next day. 
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  • dcbride86dcbride86 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Thanks, everyone!!  You were all very helpful!  :)

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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I sent my thank yous in waves for the wedding. Some were sent out a couple days after the wedding, others were sent out a couple weeks later (we moved in between). If people were butt hurt that Aunt Sally got a thank you 5 days before they did, they are being extremely petty. 


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