Wedding Woes

I feel like I need to vent rn.

Seriously. SDALSADFKASJDFLKJSD.


So this has been an on-going struggle with people being over involved in my wedding. BACK OFF. I got it. For example. A lady where I work just assumes since she does hair on the side and is also invited to the wedding that she is going to be doing my hair and makeup. Where she got that idea, I don't know. When first talking to her about it it seemed like all she talked about what how she wanted to do it, not how I wanted it done. I brushed it off at first, but then I started getting annoyed at the fact that here we are 10 days from the event and she hasn't mentioned one thing about doing a trial or anything... SO I talked to my mom who I also work with and she basically said that she has been telling everyone she's doing my hair, but I THE BRIDE have not heard one thing about it. So kindly, I texted her and said "Hey, I know we haven't talked about it in a while but I have been experimenting with doing my hair and makeup and I think that's what i'll do... or if you can recreate this look (insert pics here) that would be great." No response, but behind my back she goes to my mom and tells her that she doesn't see the point in doing my hair if I'm going to tell her how to do it and if she was me she would want to be pampered and not want to control everything on her big day. News flash... I've been planning this wedding for 12 months and if I want my hair some way, I WILL HAVE IT THAT WAY.


SO THEN, today she comes to my desk and confronts me and basically says that the style I want isn't the style I need and it doesn't look good that way and it won't compliment my dress, and it shouldn't all be down, and it needs to be teased (basically describing 1990s prom hair, no effing thanks). Long story short, my kind spirit has agreed to a hair trial next Tuesday at 2:30... and I don't know how to get out of it.

Re: I feel like I need to vent rn.

  • Im in the same boat, kind of. We are having that issue with the wedding party (but we got out of that one by saying no family but siblings)... all of our cousins (who we are very close with) assumed that they were in the wedding, asking us what they were all wearing, etc... the DAY after we got engaged! 

    Also, people are assuming they are invited at my place of work- people who I say nothing to everyday but good morning...

    I also want to know what to do when it comes to that.. Do people realize how expensive weddings are? Im not just going to invite random Joe on the street - I dont want to be mean, but what do you do?

    Sorry I havent helped you with your dillema!

    Good luck!

    xo
  • LOL! It's okay! No worries! I do have a couple close co-workers who are invited, but I invited some of them simply because I felt like I had to. I sometimes wish I could just be rude to people. Life would be much MUCH easier.


    I know how the whole family thing can go to. My fiancé has so much family. Our guest list is 115 & 99 percent family... Not to mention my grandma on my dad's side texted me other day and asked if I sent an invitation to her ex husband who a.) used to creep me out as a kid for several reasons b.) is not even married to my grandma anymore and c.) hasn't spoken to me for like 10 years. BUT FOR SOME REASON he has to get an invitation. I obliged... 

  • OMG I am so feeling this too! 

    Why do random people I don't even know think they're invited to my wedding??!! 

  • I'm really confused  - you and your coworker were discussing your wedding. She is invited. Coworker does hair and makeup as a side job. she expressed interest in doing your hair and makeup for the wedding. you reluctantly agreed and then started sharing pictures of what you would like. you are frustrated because you are getting married in 2 weeks and she has not set up a hair trial, and because she told someone else that she didn't think the style you liked was right for your personal looks/dress/style of wedding. Her recommendation was something you found dated. There was some sort of confrontation, and now you have a trial appointment with her in the next week. 

    ... did it ever occur to you to say "I appreciate your interest, but I have already hired a stylist" or "thanks for offering, but i would prefer to do my own hair and makeup for the wedding." 

    you're sending mixed signals. either say, "no thanks" and find someone else/DIY, or work with your coworker to make sure you're getting what you pay for. 


    Seriously. SDALSADFKASJDFLKJSD.


    So this has been an on-going struggle with people being over involved in my wedding. BACK OFF. I got it. For example. A lady where I work just assumes since she does hair on the side and is also invited to the wedding that she is going to be doing my hair and makeup. Where she got that idea, I don't know. When first talking to her about it it seemed like all she talked about what how she wanted to do it, not how I wanted it done. I brushed it off at first, but then I started getting annoyed at the fact that here we are 10 days from the event and she hasn't mentioned one thing about doing a trial or anything... SO I talked to my mom who I also work with and she basically said that she has been telling everyone she's doing my hair, but I THE BRIDE have not heard one thing about it. So kindly, I texted her and said "Hey, I know we haven't talked about it in a while but I have been experimenting with doing my hair and makeup and I think that's what i'll do... or if you can recreate this look (insert pics here) that would be great." No response, but behind my back she goes to my mom and tells her that she doesn't see the point in doing my hair if I'm going to tell her how to do it and if she was me she would want to be pampered and not want to control everything on her big day. News flash... I've been planning this wedding for 12 months and if I want my hair some way, I WILL HAVE IT THAT WAY.


    SO THEN, today she comes to my desk and confronts me and basically says that the style I want isn't the style I need and it doesn't look good that way and it won't compliment my dress, and it shouldn't all be down, and it needs to be teased (basically describing 1990s prom hair, no effing thanks). Long story short, my kind spirit has agreed to a hair trial next Tuesday at 2:30... and I don't know how to get out of it.


  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited October 2014

    Barbie - there's also a part in there where the stylist decided that SHE was going to determine the OP's hairstyle on her wedding day and shot down the ideas she (OP) sent. 

    OMG OP!!!!  That's about as bad as my stylist (who was the MANAGER at a Regis Salon in a higher end location) giving me a bleeping MULLET about six months before our wedding and I was left bawling trying to find someone new in a HURRY...  Honestly, bow out gracefully and find someone else (maybe your regular stylist whose work you already trust) in a hurry who YOU want to do YOUR hair - and YOUR way!!!  Something tells me this is going to end in disaster if you use her unless she can pull a rabbit out of her hat on Tuesday and suddenly listen to her "client" (you) and give the client what she wants.   

    From here on out, you deal with her, not your Mom through her.  Open that line of communication up or simply choose to "have her enjoy the day and not work" at your wedding...  Office politics can be incredibly tricky so I'd say bow out now before you do the trial if at all humanly possible!!!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  •  Long story short, my kind spirit has agreed to a hair trial next Tuesday at 2:30... and I don't know how to get out of it.
    well, you could use your words and direct them at the person who you want to hear them. and when they go crying to your mommy and your mommy comes crying to you, ask them to leave mommy out of it and reiterate what you want.

    you've been planning this wedding for 12 months; how long have you been acting like an adult and doing adult things?
    image
    penguin44
  • @scribe95 - that's what I'm saying. The OP wouldn't even be in this situation if she told this woman "no thanks" from the start - or at basically any other point in the last # of months. 

  • As someone who used to have a hard time saying "no" to people (I've come a long way lol) I can easily see how simply being polite has landed OP in a precarious situation. But also, as a hairstylist, I am COMPLETELY APPALLED with the audacity of this lady to imply that there's no point in getting someone else to do your hair if they're going to tell you how to do it. The number one skill a hairdresser needs is to be a great listener, it's always about achieving what the CLIENT WANTS, not what we think looks nice. I mean, if what they want looks horrible, there is an obligation to recommend subtle changes to fit them better, but in the end it really is what they want that needs to happen. And I would recommend a couple hair trials, one a couple months from the wedding, and one closer to it. Communication can be difficult for a lot of clients, they may even unintentionally ask for something they don't want. The world of hair is a lot more complex than you would think. Having two trials helps get a visual and perfect the look for the big day. I'm still searching for someone to do my own hair on my big day because like OP said, I planned this thing and I want my hair how I want it! I'm so sorry for what happened to you, you have so much patience, whitniedavis!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    MesmrEwe
  • Thanks for the encouragement instead of the demeaning comments! I totally agree. I took care of it though! Hopefully no more flaws since we have 8 days to go! :)
    SNoWkitsune23
  • Thanks for the encouragement instead of the demeaning comments! I totally agree. I took care of it though! Hopefully no more flaws since we have 8 days to go! :)
    What'd you end up doing???
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I just told her I was doing my own hair, and she continued to talk to other people and tell them that she was doing it. Craaaazy lady. But she understands now after our run in this afternoon. :) This bride made it VERY clear.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards