The million dollar question..... When to thank for shipped gifts?

futuremrsog15 · October 2014

Ok, I know this is asked a lot. But I can't find the answer that fits my situation exactly ... My shower invites just went out.... Received a gift today, wrapped but with a congratulations message from a friend and her husband..... Do I assume this is for the wedding??? Shower??? I really don't want to ask! I want to open it and send thank you card... What is right?

ShesSoCold · October 2014

futuremrsog15 said:

Ok, I know this is asked a lot. But I can't find the answer that fits my situation exactly ... My shower invites just went out.... Received a gift today, wrapped but with a congratulations message from a friend and her husband..... Do I assume this is for the wedding??? Shower??? I really don't want to ask! I want to open it and send thank you card... What is right?

Open and send thank you cards as soon as you get gifts. But you should save the gifts and not use them until after the wedding.

futuremrsog15 · October 2014

O so no matter what the gift is for, open and send thank you immediately?thank you!!!!

ShesSoCold · October 2014

Pretty much. My MIL sent my shower gifts to my dad's house (where the shower was) because shipping was free and so she wouldn't have to lug them around. She told me she was sending them and that they were for the shower. In that case, I did not open them because she'd called and told me that they were for the shower. For something like that, I'd save. An aunt also dropped off a gift at my mom's like two days before the shower. I opened that at the shower too so I could send a picture of me opening it to them with the TY card.

But generally, it's best to open and send TYs ASAP.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

Yep, no matter what it's for, you should open and send a thank you. This lets them know that you received it and you can make sure nothing is broken. Typically if someone wants you to open the gift at the shower, they'll send it to the host to have them bring it. Otherwise, it's not like "do not open until Christmas" presents - you can open them early!

I had some gifts that the card inside said the gift was for the shower and the wedding, so I could write thank yous accordingly.

futuremrsog15 · October 2014

So I told my fiance last night, that we will open the gift this weekend and write a thank you note. Our very first one!! He was so confused, he asked "I thought we were going to write all our notes the week after our honeymoon?" Because this is what we planned, we made time in our time off requests from work to do the thank you's. I explained those will be just for the gifts received at the actual wedding. Hey we are both still learning!!

blabla89 · October 2014

futuremrsog15 said:

O so no matter what the gift is for, open and send thank you immediately?thank you!!!!

Yep, unless it says something like "do not open until your birthday" (my grandma still does that to me) - you should send a note right away. That way the giver knows that you received it.

danamw · October 2014

If I were the sender of a shipped gift, I would want to know ASAP if you received it, and if it is ok. So send a thank you note right away. You don't have to reference if it is a shower or wedding gift.

Also, use it right away, if you want to. Things are to be used, not to sit around. If it is the kind of gift that could be broken in shipping, or doesn't work right, I would want to know, so I could replace it.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

danamw said:

If I were the sender of a shipped gift, I would want to know ASAP if you received it, and if it is ok. So send a thank you note right away. You don't have to reference if it is a shower or wedding gift.
Also, use it right away, if you want to. Things are to be used, not to sit around. If it is the kind of gift that could be broken in shipping, or doesn't work right, I would want to know, so I could replace it.

The reason you're not supposed to use it right away is because you need to return gifts if the wedding doesn't happen. So, feel free to use them if you have the funds to replace them should you need to return them. But I think it'll be super fun to finally open and use all the gifts at once.

futuremrsog15 · October 2014

adk19 said:

danamw said:

If I were the sender of a shipped gift, I would want to know ASAP if you received it, and if it is ok. So send a thank you note right away. You don't have to reference if it is a shower or wedding gift.
Also, use it right away, if you want to. Things are to be used, not to sit around. If it is the kind of gift that could be broken in shipping, or doesn't work right, I would want to know, so I could replace it.

The reason you're not supposed to use it right away is because you need to return gifts if the wedding doesn't happen. So, feel free to use them if you have the funds to replace them should you need to return them. But I think it'll be super fun to finally open and use all the gifts at once.

We will definitely be waiting to use gifts. We won't live together until after the wedding and plan to unpack everything together as we set up our home together.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

futuremrsog15 said:

adk19 said:

danamw said:

If I were the sender of a shipped gift, I would want to know ASAP if you received it, and if it is ok. So send a thank you note right away. You don't have to reference if it is a shower or wedding gift.
Also, use it right away, if you want to. Things are to be used, not to sit around. If it is the kind of gift that could be broken in shipping, or doesn't work right, I would want to know, so I could replace it.

The reason you're not supposed to use it right away is because you need to return gifts if the wedding doesn't happen. So, feel free to use them if you have the funds to replace them should you need to return them. But I think it'll be super fun to finally open and use all the gifts at once.

We will definitely be waiting to use gifts. We won't live together until after the wedding and plan to unpack everything together as we set up our home together.

Woohoo! Doesn't that sound like so much fun! We just moved into a house from a teeny apartment. We've had stuff in storage for four years. I feel like I'm opening presents every day except it's not as cool because it isn't stuff I registered for. It's stuff he had for years before we met. But every day is still like a little bit of Christmas! I imagine unpacking after a wedding would be even cooler.

novella1186 · October 2014

blabla89 said:

futuremrsog15 said:

O so no matter what the gift is for, open and send thank you immediately?thank you!!!!

Yep, unless it says something like "do not open until your birthday" (my grandma still does that to me) - you should send a note right away. That way the giver knows that you received it.

Not only that, but how do you have such good self-control that you wouldn't want to open it right away? lol. The curiosity would KILL me. (Unless they specifically asked me to wait till the shower or whatever. Then I would just have to suffer).

futuremrsog15 · October 2014

novella1186 said:

blabla89 said:

futuremrsog15 said:

O so no matter what the gift is for, open and send thank you immediately?thank you!!!!

Yep, unless it says something like "do not open until your birthday" (my grandma still does that to me) - you should send a note right away. That way the giver knows that you received it.

Not only that, but how do you have such good self-control that you wouldn't want to open it right away? lol. The curiosity would KILL me. (Unless they specifically asked me to wait till the shower or whatever. Then I would just have to suffer).

I know right?! I opened the main box from BB&B, hoping it was gift wrapped inside. It was, but it felt good opening the outer box!

danamw · October 2014

Yes that is a good point about not using the gift in case it has to be returned, in the event the wedding doesn't happen.

Is there still a rule that if the marriage doesn't last a year, that the gifts be returned? I have known that to happen. My nephew & his wife separated before a year was up. Our $200 gift card wasn't reimbursed, nor did we get a thank you! I guess they were too busy fighting, LOL.

AddieCake · October 2014

Shower gifts and wedding gifts are all for the same reason: because you're getting married. I don't understand why people treat them like they are separate gifts.

theartistformerlyknownas · October 2014

AddieCake said:
Shower gifts and wedding gifts are all for the same reason: because you're getting married. I don't understand why people treat them like they are separate gifts.

In my case, I wanted to acknowledge that she had said "this is for the shower and the wedding" just in case she worried I would expect a second gift - I figured that was why she wrote that in the first place. Generally though, absolutely, it doesn't matter. The only difference in my notes was either saying thanks for coming to the shower/we hope to see you at the wedding versus thanks for coming to the wedding in addition to thanking foot the gift.

The million dollar question..... When to thank for shipped gifts?

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