Forgot to send a wedding gift....I'm awful

Re: Forgot to send a wedding gift....I'm awful

• beethery member

  

  October 2014

  You have up to a year post-wedding to send a gift. Based on your personal situation, I'd say you're in the clear. Send the gift, send the congrats, and maybe see if she wants to hang out sometime.

  
  

  If she's a good friend, she'll be happy that you're getting into a better place and probably appreciate that you thought of her while you're dealing with this.

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  I'm the fuck out.

  
  

  
  

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• Viczaesar member

  

  October 2014

  lapisa22 said:

  This is embarrassing.  I didn't go to a friend's wedding because I cancelled my own right before the RSVP's were due.  I was a hot mess and my life was a hot mess and it was all I could do to take a shower and get to work, much less think about etiquette and sending gifts.  This was in May.  I ran into her husband today at work and all of the sudden my heart sank into my stomach when I realized AHHHHHHH OH MY GOD I DIDN'T SEND A GIFT AND THAT WAS ALMOST SIX MONTHS AGO!!!!!  Soooooo, I don't know what to do.  I went on her registry and found that she still has some great gifts that I could send.  We're not close so I haven't even talked to her since she got married, but I still should have sent a gift and I am sick about it.  Is it OK to send a gift at this point?  I was googling and saw that old saying where you have a year to send a gift after the wedding isn't true.  I was really hoping it was.  I can't believe I forgot.  But at the same time I'm shocked that I remembered to shower most days and put one foot in front of the other and pretend to smile in front of my patients.  How do I save face and not look like a terrible person without trying to make excuses to this person who is hopefully still in her honeymoon phase?  Can I just send a gift saying Congratulations, sorry I couldn't make it and I'm so happy for you?  I don't want to make excuses because it doesn't matter, I am happy for her, she was the most beautiful bride and I wish I was there to see it in person and I'm happy for her and I don't want to talk about my depressing life.  Can I do that or is that tacky?  Eeee!!!  Thank you knotties!!!

  I don't really understand the panic.  You are not required to get them a gift.  You wouldn't be required to do so even if you went to the wedding, but you didn't.  You also have up to a year after the wedding to give them a wedding gift so you're still well within that timeframe.  If you sincerely desire to get them a gift and you're not just freaking out because you think you owe them a gift, feel free to pick something out and send it to them with a nice note about how happy you are for them.  You don't have to make any excuses; you have done nothing for which you need to be excused. 
  
  I don't know what you googled, but yes, you have a year after the wedding to send a gift (and, frankly, I doubt anyone would turn down a present even if it's more than a year after the wedding for whatever reason).  What is not true is the idea that the receiver of a gift has a year to send thank you notes.  Thank you notes should be sent as soon as possible after receiving a gift.
  

  
  
  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  October 2014

  I don't understand the panic, either. It would never bother me if someone who didn't come to my wedding hadn't sent a gift. Send one if you want now.

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• theartistformerlyknownas member

  

  October 2014

  Add me to the puzzled group. You're not even close with this person but you're beside yourself for not sending a gift for a wedding you didn't even attend? Breeeeaaathe. I'm sure they didn't even give it a second thought. Out of our 30-something declines we only got gifts from I think 3 couples. There were people who DID attend our wedding and not give a gift. I'm not expecting any to show up now.
  
  This is not the end of the world. Send something if you feel like it but don't feel bad if you choose not to.

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  October 2014

  I don't send gifts if I don't attend.  And you can send up to a year later as everyone else has mentioned.  Actually, we got 1 gift over 2 years after we got married.  It was from friends who were invited, but couldn't make the trip (they were in the middle of building their new house, as in building it themselves and not with contractors).  We only see them a few times per year and by the time they got their life sorted and organized we had been married a long time and they still wanted to give us a gift.  

  
  

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• blabla89 member

  

  October 2014

  You're okay, and I'm sure your friend understands. You don't need to make excuses or apologize for not being there.
  
  Personally, I don't usually send a gift if I don't attend the wedding, but it would be perfectly fine to send one now if you want. Nothing tacky about that.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

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• huskypuppy14 member

  

  October 2014

  Gifts are never required. Take a deep breath, and calm down. If you would like to get them a present, that would be very thoughtful, no matter how much time has passed.

  
  

  I got married in June, and if someone decided to send us a present now, I would be happy that they thought of us at all. Only jerks are going to be pissed about not getting a gift.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• indianaalum member

  

  October 2014 edited October 2014

  Gifts are always appreciated. Send a gift. It's never too late. People always appreciate the thought

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