I'd totally pass my kid off as 2...and have no qualms about it.

mrsconn23 · October 2014

Dear Prudie,
My husband and I are facing an ethical dilemma when it comes to his parents and their choice of extended-family vacation time. They are comfortable financially and it has become a tradition for us to fly down on school break from the Northeast to their home in central Florida. Often, on their dime, we visit One of Central Florida’s Most Popular Destinations. This year our youngest will be turning 3 years old just ahead of arrival. That is the “magical” age at which admission must be paid. My in-laws have asked how we feel about passing him for a 2-year-old, thus getting in for free. Our issues are that it’s their money, but we feel kind of icky about lying, and also our other children would be old enough to pick up on what we’re doing. We are grateful for the trip and their generosity but since they asked, is it OK for us to say they’ve got to pay (the ridiculous cost) for the preschooler?

—M-I-See You Go Broke ...

PMeg819 · October 2014

Why doesn't she just pay for that kid if she feels it's so dishonest?

pegasuskat · October 2014

We had this exact same situation many years ago. My mom and SD were going to be in FL for her job and had gotten hopper passes for us through Coke, where SD works. DD turned 3 in Oct, we went first week of Nov. We didn't discuss it ahead of time, and she didn't get one for DD. I really didn't think much about it, and I know that my 2 older kids (about 8/9) and my much younger sis and bro. (11/13) didn't notice at all. They were practically running through the gate, they didn't notice who had/didn't have a ticket, lol. DD cried on the tram to enter the park, and just wanted to ride in her stroller and look, she had no interest in rides, so I didn't feel like we ripped anybody off.

On the flip side, I never lie at things like movies for my kids/grandkids.

GBCK · October 2014

The last time we were out west, my ILs were going to buy the Mr. his ski pass using their military ID. I'm the cheapskate in our household, and I put the kibosh on it and ponied up the money.

And 3 year olds do NOT tolerate you telling people they are 2 :-P

(flipside, I totally bought the 'unlimited drinks @ cedar point' pass this year and we passed them among the group)

*Barbie* · October 2014

if it's within a few weeks, i really don't see it as a BFD. not like a 3rd birthday throws some sort of switch and the child suddenly becomes bigger/able to do more/eat more, etc.

PMeg819 · October 2014

Semi related- but I used to lurk on a frequent flier message board when I was traveling so I could figure out how to maximize my air miles, etc. Almost every airline has a policy that you can only have a kid under 2 in your lap, otherwise you need to buy a seat. If your kid turns 2 during the trip, you have to purchase a one way ticket for that child. Now, keep in mind that in the US you need to enter the person's date of birth when you put them on a reservation. So many people would post about how they could game that- they don't want to buy the one way ticket. And they'd get so worked up when people would tell them they couldn't. Like you can afford to purchase full price first class tickets to Europe, but you won't pony up a one way on the way home because junior turns 2? A couple people were also incensed when they got to the airport and they couldn't pull those shenanigans with the gate crew.

*Barbie* · October 2014

I don't know about others, but we gave up on "lap child" after her flights at 14mo - she was just learning to walk and had no interest in being held for ~3 hours. It wasn't any more fun for us since we had to keep passing her back and forth and trying to restrain her so she wasn't running around annoying others on the flight. next time we flew (~19 mo) we took her carseat, and it was a much more pleasant experience.

baby in a sling/carrier - not a problem, but I think after that 1 year mark, they should start to require a carseat.

Heffalump · October 2014

*Barbie* said:

I don't know about others, but we gave up on "lap child" after her flights at 14mo

We flew with the Wooz exactly once as a lap child, because it was last minute and flights were not only crazy-expensive, but really hard to find 3 seats together. She literally fidgeted the ribs off my corduroy pants, I had bald spots on both thighs. That was the end of that.

mrsconn23 · October 2014

DefConn was a nightmare to fly with to San Diego at 17 months. DH and I regretted not getting him a seat.

charlieyankee03 · October 2014

I never saw an issue with lap children until I read this article:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/johngoglia/2014/07/16/tips-for-flying-safely-with-children-when-the-airline-doesnt-know-the-rules/

It sounds ridiculous to pay so much for a seat for your child under 2 that doesn't care where they sit, but when thinking about the alternative I would rather pay the money to ensure my fictitious child's safety.

thejucheidea · October 2014

We're gonna strap the beta to one of us at any given point when we take him or her out to California and then Washington to visit family when he or she is like two months old, but I doubt we'll ever attempt long-haul flights without buying a seat for spawn.

mrsconn23 · October 2014

thejucheidea said:

We're gonna strap the beta to one of us at any given point when we take him or her out to California and then Washington to visit family when he or she is like two months old, but I doubt we'll ever attempt long-haul flights without buying a seat for spawn.

I flew with DefConn at ~3 mos old. I put him in a moby wrap. It was all good for 3.5 legs of the flight until the flight attendant made me take him out and hold him in my arms.

Heffalump · October 2014

mrs.conn23 said:

thejucheidea said:

We're gonna strap the beta to one of us at any given point when we take him or her out to California and then Washington to visit family when he or she is like two months old, but I doubt we'll ever attempt long-haul flights without buying a seat for spawn.

I flew with DefConn at ~3 mos old. I put him in a moby wrap. It was all good for 3.5 legs of the flight until the flight attendant made me take him out and hold him in my arms.

This happened to a coworker of mine! Apparently some airlines (cough, US Airways, cough) don't train on this effectively, because she was allowed to use it on her outbound flight, but not on her return flight. I felt really bad for her.

PMeg819 · October 2014

charlieyankee03 said:

I never saw an issue with lap children until I read this article:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/johngoglia/2014/07/16/tips-for-flying-safely-with-children-when-the-airline-doesnt-know-the-rules/
It sounds ridiculous to pay so much for a seat for your child under 2 that doesn't care where they sit, but when thinking about the alternative I would rather pay the money to ensure my fictitious child's safety.

FYI, some airlines will offer an infant fare that is a percentage of a full fare.

My dad is an airline pilot and he says even strong turbulence can make it difficult to hold an infant in arms. Better safe than sorry.

mrsconn23 · October 2014

Heffalump said:

mrs.conn23 said:

thejucheidea said:

We're gonna strap the beta to one of us at any given point when we take him or her out to California and then Washington to visit family when he or she is like two months old, but I doubt we'll ever attempt long-haul flights without buying a seat for spawn.

I flew with DefConn at ~3 mos old. I put him in a moby wrap. It was all good for 3.5 legs of the flight until the flight attendant made me take him out and hold him in my arms.

This happened to a coworker of mine! Apparently some airlines (cough, US Airways, cough) don't train on this effectively, because she was allowed to use it on her outbound flight, but not on her return flight. I felt really bad for her.

I was on Southawest. Inconsistency is not owned by just one airline.

They also asked for DefConn's birth cert for that trip. I didn't have it, but luckily his physical appearance proved he was under 2. And I was only asked for his birth cert in my local airport.

I hurried up and got his birth cert before we went to San Diego (when he was almost 18 months old) and was never asked for it. (We flew United)

Also, I got through 3 legs of that trip before someone asked me if we had registered DefConn as a lap child. I asked if I needed to at the outset of the trip and was told it was not necessary. *smh*

*Barbie* · October 2014

inconsistency rules - one of the Southwest flight attendants made us take the carseat out of the carrying bag as we boarded the plane so she could check if it had a "TSA" approved sticker on it. that has never been required on any other flight (Southwest or otherwise) - and really, isn't this something they should check *in the terminal* so you're not trying to juggle a kid, a seat, and luggage in the front galley of the plane?

I flew with Wolverine as a "lap child" (facing me in a bjorn-style carrier) when she was 3.5 months. Nobody made me take her out to hold her in my arms - and given the hellish nature of the return trip, i probably would have junk-punched anyone who suggested it. (After 4 hours of repeated de-icing, they shut down the airport due to snow, and we got stranded there overnight. basically nothing was open, so we were very limited on food and resources. The flight crew showed up 4 hours late the next morning, and it was another ~2 hours of queue time and de-icing once we boarded the plane. it was not a fun time, although Wolverine was very well behaved and got to sleep (laying down) in her stroller, so all was good for her.

I'd totally pass my kid off as 2...and have no qualms about it.

Re: I'd totally pass my kid off as 2...and have no qualms about it.

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