As a bridesmaid, would you rather?

mmoss042515 · July 2014

Good morning,

I was hoping to get some advice from you all. I have asked my girls to be my bridesmaids and they all said yes! Yay!!

I have 9 bridesmaids. I know this seems like a lot, but I am not too worried about it. My question has to do with their dress. I asked and they all want to be in the same dress. Would you prefer short or long dresses? My wedding will be inside at a country club, so the weather does not play a factor. Thanks!

Maggie0829 · July 2014

It really depends on the dress and also what color you want them to wear. If you are picking a black dress then I would prefer short because then I could wear it again without having to get it shorten. But if you are picking some non-neutral non-typical to wear again color like pale yellow or pale pink then I like long dresses.

I guess for me, I don't have many opportunities to get all dressed up in a gown so when I am a BM it is the one time I get to slip on a long gown and look/feel fabulous.

Bubblegum5586 · July 2014

As PP said color is a factor. Typically I prefer to have a short dress so I could possibly wear it again. But if its in a color I will never wear again (like an orange BM dress I have hanging in my closet still) then length doesn't matter as I know I wont wear it again either way.

ETA - at my cousin's wedding a few years ago we wore beautiful long teal satin gowns with tulle under it and everything. The dress was beautiful but impractical when walking up the stairs to the alter/chuppah and also while dancing the Hava Nagila my leg ripped right through the tulle causing it to hang down and have to go find scissors to cut it off. Short dresses are just easier!

sarawifenow · July 2014

I ditto Maggie in that it really depends on the dress you are looking at. Have you thought of a material you like? For example, I prefer satin for short dresses. I would maybe take your bridesmaids to the bridal shop and have them try on a variety of dresses. See what looks good on everyone and then go from there.

jenna8984 · July 2014

bubblegum1309 said:

As PP said color is a factor. Typically I prefer to have a short dress so I could possibly wear it again. But if its in a color I will never wear again (like an orange BM dress I have hanging in my closet still) then length doesn't matter as I know I wont wear it again either way.

ETA - at my cousin's wedding a few years ago we wore beautiful long teal satin gowns with tulle under it and everything. The dress was beautiful but impractical when walking up the stairs to the alter/chuppah and also while dancing the Hava Nagila my leg ripped right through the tulle causing it to hang down and have to go find scissors to cut it off. Short dresses are just easier!

I also have a pumpkin orange bridesmaid gown in my closet. I would never wear it even if it were short. So I agree, if you're going for something can can be worn again go short. But if you're just going for something they will enjoy more at the wedding itself, probably still short. Easier to dance, not as hot, usually a little less expensive. As long as everyone is comfortable with that, some people don't like to show their legs at all so ask them first.

manateehugger · July 2014

100% dependent on color, fabric, and style. If you put me in full length bridesmaid satin, I will never forgive you.

Liatris2010 · July 2014

Instead of asking people who don't have to wear the dresses, why don't you ask the people who do? I'm sure your BMs have a preference and that they would be happy to tell you. You should also consider budget. Long dresses are usually more expensive. Can the BM with the smallest budget afford a long dress?

southernbelle0915 · July 2014

What time of year are you getting married?

artbyallie · July 2014

Liatris2010 said:

Instead of asking people who don't have to wear the dresses, why don't you ask the people who do? I'm sure your BMs have a preference and that they would be happy to tell you. You should also consider budget. Long dresses are usually more expensive. Can the BM with the smallest budget afford a long dress?

This!!! Why are you asking us?

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I'd rather wear a short dress. My colors are gray and yellow so I decided to have my BMs wear gray instead of yellow and they can pick their dresses (in hopes they'll actually like them), I just requested they be short and they all were fine with that.

anh8705 · July 2014

I think it depends on the theme you're going with. I personally prefer shorter dresses, but sometimes longer ones can fit a romantic or classical theme very well. I also feel like shorter dresses are good for the bride being "unique" in her long dress - but also just my opinion. I say go with what you want! It's your wedding!

climbingsingle · July 2014

Liatris2010 said:

Instead of asking people who don't have to wear the dresses, why don't you ask the people who do? I'm sure your BMs have a preference and that they would be happy to tell you. You should also consider budget. Long dresses are usually more expensive. Can the BM with the smallest budget afford a long dress?

Yeah, this. Why are you asking us? This is so a personal preference. Ask your BMs.

atlastmrsg · July 2014

Short so there's a greater chance I can wear it again if it's not tragically bridesmaid-y. I'll never wear some long satin monstrosity from David's Bridal ever again. Ever.

abbyj700 · July 2014

I love my long black satin from Davids.

I felt so formal and beautiful in it. I actually may wear it for my rehearsal dinner if I can figure out a costume with it! (our rehearsal dinner is a costume party on Halloween)

And ask them!

lc07 · August 2014

I'm baffled they all want to wear the same dress given the option not to.

jynxiie · August 2014

Whats your dress like?
I think if you have something slimming/tight - short would be nice.
But if you have a ball gown - definitely long.

labro · August 2014

lc07 said:

I'm baffled they all want to wear the same dress given the option not to.

It happens. My bridesmaids chose to do this. We went shopping with the intent for everyone to select their own dress but they all fell in love with the same style.

OP, I think you need to ask your BMs their preference. Personally, as a BM I like getting all dressed up in a long flowy glamorous gown, as long as it isn't satin anyway. With so many BMs and opinions it might be easier to just state your preference to them as far as length...like you prefer long or short and then go from there.

JCbride2015 · August 2014

I remember your previous posts. I'm guessing based off the budget and country club location this is a very formal wedding, right?

Go long.

OliveOilsMom · August 2014

Since they all want the same dress, anyway you can schedule a dress shopping day with them all? Then together they can decide the dress to purchase.

I wanted my girls in the same dress, but I didn't care which dress. So I scheduled shopping for all 6 together. I let the girls narrow down the dresses. Then they got down to a final 3 and asked me to choose the final dress. It worked well for our group.

Ven&Radio · August 2014

I hate hate hate dresses that are short enough to show my knees. I also agree polling your BMs for their preference (and budget!) is the best way to go.

doeydo · August 2014

Depends on the BMs' budget, season, formality, etc. But if it were me, I suppose I would prefer a short dress because there is a greater likelihood of me wearing it again.

princessleia22 · August 2014

Definitely ask your BM's their preference. There are a lot of factors and they may have their own preferences. Everyone saying they want dresses to match is easy, but it will likely get more difficult as they realize they have different tastes & styles. Maybe ask everyone separately what their preferences are (maybe when you privately ask them about their budget), so you can get true view of what each person really would like to see chosen. Then you know where they majority stands to have a starting point.

If your wedding is highly formal, then you should go with long gowns, as they are more formal.

I personally hate anything above my knees... my legs just look weird in dresses above the knee (others have told me this, so it's not just my skewed opinion). But, if I can get it just below the knee or mid calf, it looks okay.

Short dresses are easier to wear after wedding, but it depends on fabric & color. Most people aren't going to wear odd colors again on a regular basis. Or satin. Even on short dress, satin is a formal material that usually requires a more formal event to wear it.

Different fabrics go better with certain lengths. And people may have preference on fabric. I personally love the flowiness of chiffon or organza. And I'm not a fan of satin. Plus, I find that satin tends to show off every body imperfection. Chiffon & organza are easier to find in short or mid-length dresses, than in long.

Even if event is inside, time of year can be a factor. They still need to arrive there in the attire, which will require some outside time.

What about shoes? Do you/they want to match all shoes also? Is there anyone that has specific need for shoes? I was in a wedding several years ago where all girls matching heels, but I had just had back surgery and couldn't wear them, so I had to find different shoes. Luckily, we had long dresses, so you couldn't even see the shoes anyway. But, if you want short dresses & matching shoes, you may want to take shoes into consideration.

smhubbel · August 2014

I would most like to have a dress that can be worn for other occasions! Take that into consideration. Just pick a dress that is going to be cute and flattering to the body types and sizes of your BMs. Maybe ask your BMs what cut of dress they would like, beyond even the length. Does the majority prefer dresses with an empire waist-line/drop waist/whatever? Then find something like that. The cut is important because I find that I personally do not wear certain types of dresses because I do not think they are flattering to my figure. I have curves. I can't wear a sheath dress or something like a mermaid style anything.

cafarrie · August 2014

Does anyone else think it's just SO much easier for the bride to pick a BM dress? I understand wanting to be considerate (which it sounds like you were OP - asking for budgets and generally if they want the same dress), but as a BM I find it frustrating and stressful to have to make these decisions! It's your wedding, just tell me what you want

Maggie0829 · August 2014

cafarrie said:

Does anyone else think it's just SO much easier for the bride to pick a BM dress? I understand wanting to be considerate (which it sounds like you were OP - asking for budgets and generally if they want the same dress), but as a BM I find it frustrating and stressful to have to make these decisions! It's your wedding, just tell me what you want

It depends. If the bride and I have similar taste/style then yeah I would be all pick away! But it the brides taste/style is questionable I would want to be a bit more active in the picking process.

[Deleted User] · October 2014

Just ask them!

frewinclaire · October 2014

When all said and done it's your day but they have to wear something they are comfortable in. Plus, they will be in your wedding photos for a VERY long time so it's in your best interests to have them looking tip top

Mine didn't look bad and I wrote a whole blog piece on bridesmaids (see below). I have been one 7 times so I have a lot of experience!

Read my Blog at http://bridechiller.blogspot.co.uk/

As a bridesmaid, would you rather?

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