Pre-wedding Parties

Ladies Lunch (Edited)

edited October 2014 in Pre-wedding Parties
    So in two weeks my family will be meeting some of my fiance's family for the first time at a ladies lunch and tea, along with staying with some of my family members overnight. Along with church the next day and a brunch! I am so nervous! If you have read my other post of future mother-in-law has a very difficult personality and didn't want the wedding to happen this year to suit her own needs as she is very selfish. My parents are not together and there are also conflicts that have arisen within my own family when it comes to my wedding that have brought up things in the past between my mother and my fathers family who are hosting and planned the event. My mother has a history of being impulsive and creating a storm basically while, my fathers family always are pleasant and tolerate her kindly. Everyone can not get along for one reason or another. 
      My paternal grandmother organized this luncheon with all the ladies my mother, my sister, grandmother (fathers mother), aunt, two cousins (bridesmaids), my future mother-in-law and my future sister-in-law (her mothers mini-me aka difficult-thinks the same). How do I not have so much anxiety over this event? It is the start of events that lead up to one of the most important big days of my fiance and my life! How can I calm this anxiety and stop a conflict to arise either with my future mother-in-law or my mother? Help!

Re: Ladies Lunch (Edited)

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I think if you have this much anxiety over it, you should have declined the lunch. I guess you could speak to your mother and ask that she not start any drama. Beyond that, have a margarita and relax. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    MairePoppy
  • AddieCake said:
    I think if you have this much anxiety over it, you should have declined the lunch. I guess you could speak to your mother and ask that she not start any drama. Beyond that, have a margarita and relax. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen.
    I wanted to decline it but my grandmother was so excited over it and our families have never met I didn't want to "rain on her parade" or hurt her feelings. Yeah I have mentioned it to her and she's like, oh ill be good but I just can't trust her but ill try to relax about it. I do like your Margarita idea!lol 
  • chibiyuichibiyui The Boring Part of MD member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    AddieCake said:
    I think if you have this much anxiety over it, you should have declined the lunch. I guess you could speak to your mother and ask that she not start any drama. Beyond that, have a margarita and relax. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen.
    I wanted to decline it but my grandmother was so excited over it and our families have never met I didn't want to "rain on her parade" or hurt her feelings. Yeah I have mentioned it to her and she's like, oh ill be good but I just can't trust her but ill try to relax about it. I do like your Margarita idea!lol 
    Controlling difficult adults is like herding cats. You don't achieve anything and you get covered in scratches. Just remember that anyone who starts drama at this is the one who will look bad, not you. 

    Drink lots of margaritas.
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    Anniversary
  • chibiyui said:
    AddieCake said:
    I think if you have this much anxiety over it, you should have declined the lunch. I guess you could speak to your mother and ask that she not start any drama. Beyond that, have a margarita and relax. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen.
    I wanted to decline it but my grandmother was so excited over it and our families have never met I didn't want to "rain on her parade" or hurt her feelings. Yeah I have mentioned it to her and she's like, oh ill be good but I just can't trust her but ill try to relax about it. I do like your Margarita idea!lol 
    Controlling difficult adults is like herding cats. You don't achieve anything and you get covered in scratches. Just remember that anyone who starts drama at this is the one who will look bad, not you. 

    Drink lots of margaritas.
    Thanks, you are right they will look bad not me. Oh yes those margaritas are calling my name, I need all I can get to getting ready to handle these "cats". :)
  • You are not responsible for anyone's behavior except your own.  You are the bride-to-be and honoree.  Just ignore any drama and smile.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    pumpkincreamcake15cafarrieMairePoppy
  • I have been there. 
    It's hard when families are quarelsome. There's always a bit of that 'does this reflect on me?' worry- and trying to corral them.

    The thing that helps me is to let it go. I can't control other people's behavior- just my own- so it's best I keep to the people that are supportive and not embarrassing, and ignore the ones whose behavior is not what I like. 

    My maid of honor and fiance aren't allowing me to be alone with my gran or mother the week of the wedding, as my gran and mom love to stir up drama when no one else is around. They're acting a bit as drama buffers for me. 

    Find your 'happy place' and stick with it! :) I'm sure you're lovely and your behavior speaks for itself. :) 
  • cambryn said:
    I have been there. 
    It's hard when families are quarelsome. There's always a bit of that 'does this reflect on me?' worry- and trying to corral them.

    The thing that helps me is to let it go. I can't control other people's behavior- just my own- so it's best I keep to the people that are supportive and not embarrassing, and ignore the ones whose behavior is not what I like. 

    My maid of honor and fiance aren't allowing me to be alone with my gran or mother the week of the wedding, as my gran and mom love to stir up drama when no one else is around. They're acting a bit as drama buffers for me. 

    Find your 'happy place' and stick with it! :) I'm sure you're lovely and your behavior speaks for itself. :) 
    Aww, thank you! I need to get my own drama buffers. lol Thats so nice of them.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    The best you can do is just go with the flow and be as gracious as you can.  If your mother or anyone else causes drama, it's up to your grandmother as the hostess to deal with it.  Should it happen at the wedding, hopefully you will have venue staff, a DOC, and/or security who can remove the people acting out.
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