We can't go on a honeymoon until months after our wedding

theunbreakablevow · September 2014

I know this is petty, but I always had the idea in my head that after I get married, I would be able to have an entire week of a honeymoon to enjoy my newly married status. It was a fantasy, but I just found out that due to my fiances job we will probably not be able to go on our honeymoon until months after the fact. I feel like that that is just a vacation at that point, not a honeymoon (I know, pretty pretty princess how ever will I survive?) I'm just disappointed, mostly because he is taking time off to go to Vegas with his best man and groomsmen right before the wedding but we will not be able to have our own time (in his defense, he is only going to Vegas for 2 days whereas our honeymoon will be at least 8 days). I'm disappointed, and it makes me a little sad. It's not the end of the world, I know, but I saved up all this vacation time at my own job for this purpose and now... Wah wah wah!!!

6fsn · September 2014

Eh it's ok to be sad, just don't dwell on it. I spent the day after the wedding sleeping and eating and the first day of our honeymoon still in recovery. So bright side you won't have that.

Can you get away for a night or two?

thejucheidea · September 2014

We only took like two days off after our wedding so we could visit with our friends who stayed for a little while after the wedding. We got married in October and didn't go on our two-week-long honeymoon until February, and we LOVED the delay. We got to get a little ways away from the wedding and had something awesome to look forward to for almost four months. It may seem lame to you now, but it is AWESOME to have the delayed honeymoon to look forward to!!

MesmrEwe · September 2014

6fsn said:

Eh it's ok to be sad, just don't dwell on it. I spent the day after the wedding sleeping and eating and the first day of our honeymoon still in recovery. So bright side you won't have that.
Can you get away for a night or two?

I agree with this! Instead of the 8-day trip right away, what about an extended weekend 2-3 day trip? Instead of doing a gift opening on Sunday, take off right away that morning and come back Tuesday night for work on Wednesday. Two days off is a lot easier to obtain than 8 and My guess is that in several months it's not going to be any easier for him to get that time off anyway if his career/employer is anything like DH's (I had surgery and he could only take off the day of and the day after). It sounds cynical, but best to see about a compromise.

rm17 · September 2014

I'm sorry you won't be able to go right away.

My fiance and I can't either, wedding in October and honeymoon not until December since he's back in school. Still not used to the adult student schedule.

fbmandy55 · September 2014

We are getting married in 5 days and knew all along we would have no honeymoon. FH is still in school so he wouldn't be able to take off and miss classes.

We have a 7 year old son so we agreed we would MUCH rather take a family vacation with him next summer.

MNNEBride · September 2014

We did a gift opening the next day (probably a MN thing) and then left for an overnight trip to quaint little town for a get away. I started work at a new job on Tuesday so there was no time for an extended honeymoon. We actually didn't take our "HM" until our 5 yr anniversary, when we went on a week-long cruise. I think we enjoyed it more because we started the trip rested and settled.

It's ok to be disappointed but don't dwell on it. Regular life responsibilities happen and you do what you can.

*Barbie* · September 2014

if it means waiting for a few months to take the trip that you really want, it will be worth the wait and will give you something fun to look forward to.

We spent our wedding night in one of the airport hotels so we could be at the airport at something like 6am for our flight. It would have been nice to have the extra time to wind down from the wedding, rather than spend a majority of the next day travelling.

primafaba15 · September 2014

I hear you -- that's rough, and I completely understand being bummed.

We won't be able to take an extended honeymoon immediately either -- not so much because of work, but because we just can't afford something like that so soon after the wedding. Our plan is to take a long weekend somewhere local-ish, then do a real honeymoon the next year, when we'll have recouped expenses a bit and might be able to afford to go some place we'd really like to go.

It's a little bit disappointing, especially as everyone from vendors to family keeps bringing the subject up and we have to explain over and over again that no, we won't be doing a big honeymoon until at least our first anniversary. But in the end, it'll work out better for us.

Does your job allow you to roll over any vacation, or is that time lost? If you can roll over any days, try reserving those for that longer trip later. And if not, maybe use a few for yourself to give you more time for planning or just to get a breather before the wedding, instead of having to spend lunch breaks / evenings / weekends trying to get ahold of vendors etc. :-)

short+sassy · September 2014

This advise goes for anyone, but especially for the OP (if applicable). If your work has "use it or lose it" policy for vacation time, double check your state labor laws.

A LOT of states do not allow this. For example, I live in one of those states, but I can't tell you how many times I have heard of companies here doing that. I think it is usually more ignorance than purposely flouting state law, but still. And it is based on where your work site is, not on where the corporate office is headquartered.

Off the top of my head, I know Mississippi, Louisiana, and California don't allow vacation time to expire...but there are more. I'd say at least a third of the states don't allow this.

cinnamonsauce · October 2014

I'm not able to take a honeymoon right after the wedding due to finances as well--I can't afford to miss any more work and also be spending the extra money on top of that. Instead, we decided to have a couple of days at a nice hotel where we can feel pampered, and to go wine tasting and try different restaurants we've always wanted to visit. It's not the French Riviera, but still relaxing and fun. I think if you guys can pamper yourselves for a couple of days and plan some fun activities nearby, it'll be a nice "minimoon" until the big vacation! Best of luck to you and enjoy!

Sromz06 · October 2014

Don't dwell on that. Many people aren't able to afford a honeymoon period, so look on the bright side

. My fiancé and I are getting married this December and due to the holiday season and expensive flights, we made the decision to wait a few months to actually take a honeymoon. We will be taking a few days after the wedding to relax and stay at a resort. So maybe if you are able to do something small like that, it might make you feel a little better and at least you get to relax for a few days.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826 · October 2014

I'm not taking one until next year. I honestly didn't feel like planning a honeymoon on top of a wedding. I just want to take a break and be married for a bit. I get why you're bummed, though.

knottie75e99fe4be548d97 · October 2014

I can totally understand how you feel because if I were put in that situation, I would have felt the exact same way. I have been in that situation with my husband for "regular" vacations where he has used up all his time doing vacations with friends and then I have a week to use, but I'm not going to go by myself! Having went on a honeymoon the day after my wedding (after doing a triathlon that morning, nonetheless), here are some things you can be try to be happy about that I found as a negative as leaving right away:

1) You don't get to spend any extra time with out-of-town guests

2) You don't get to open wedding gifts right away

3) You don't get to discuss your wedding and all the details with your girlfriends or mom. Sure, they were there, but isn't it fun to reflect on an event with your ladies right after it happens!

4) Double the work to plan a wedding concurrent with a honeymoon.

5) You actually don't get to build the excitement that you normally would for vacation because you're building it for your wedding and then all the sudden it's over and it's like, vacation time! It loses something when you don't have that focused anticipation leading up to it.

I know it's a bummer, but I'm sure you will relish in relaxing in the few days afterwards and unwinding. Have fun!

flutteringinfl · October 2014

I'm probably going to be in the same boat as you. We're getting married the week before Thanksgiving, and with both our jobs it'll probably more feasible to wait until late December to go on our honeymoon. I work in higher education and my boss would probably kill me if I took a week or more off so close to the end of the semester, and my FI works in TV news and it's probably going to be bad enough that our wedding is during sweeps, let alone the honeymoon. So I'm thinking we'll probably wait until the semester and sweeps are both over.

At first I was a little bummed but then I realized since we're going to have almost all out-of-town guests (we live far from most of our family and friends, and we're getting married in a city even farther from everyone), some of them will probably want to stay a few days after to get some kind of mini-vacation in (my dad has mentioned this), so it might be nice to have a little extra time to spend with people I don't get to see much.

chkmeowt · October 2014

We didn't want to take our honeymoon right after the wedding - MN is beautiful in August - we wanted to save our island getaway for when its below freezing and snowing!

theunbreakablevow · October 2014

Thank you for all of your responses, everyone! The more I think about it, the less bummed I become. I asked FI if we could go away Saturday night (we are getting married on Friday) for just the weekend (one night) at least, and he agreed that he could definitely make that work. Which means that will be less money I need to spend combined with the wedding, and I can take a break from spending for a few months until we can plan our actual honeymoon. Plus, it gives us something to look forward to in the future instead of "getting everything all done at once." When I put it into perspective that way, I feel a bit better.

We can't go on a honeymoon until months after our wedding

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