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Destination Wedding - Do I have to send thank you notes if no gifts?

TH28754TH28754 member
Knottie Warrior 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I had a wedding in Las Vegas and had about 35 guests.  Most of the guests were from the East Coast.  I've sent thank you notes to everyone that sent gifts, but my MIL feels that I should send a thank you note to everyone that attending.  What are your thoughts on this?
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Re: Destination Wedding - Do I have to send thank you notes if no gifts?

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    TH28754 said:

    I had a wedding in Las Vegas and had about 35 guests.  Most of the guests were from the East Coast.  I've sent thank you notes to everyone that sent gifts, but my MIL feels that I should send a thank you note to everyone that attending.  What are your thoughts on this?

    I agree with your MIL. Guests had to incur some serious expense to attend your wedding. While you were only required to thank guests for attending in person at the wedding itself, I'd do this as well. It's an extra way to show your guests that you appreciate what they did.
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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    You don't have to but since it is such a small guest list, I would go ahead. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.
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  • destinationtake2destinationtake2 member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    misshart00 said:
    You don't have to but since it is such a small guest list, I would go ahead. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.
    I agree with this. Definitely a nice gesture.
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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Normally I would say no because it generally looks gift-grabby, but since they had to travel, their presence WAS your gift.
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  • msuprincess04msuprincess04 member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I sent them to everyone who came to our DW even if they didn't give a gift.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
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  • XrebeccaXXrebeccaX member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    Same - I sent them to everyone who came. It was a big gift of their time and a major expense for them.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Traditionally, thank yous are not sent to guests who did not bring a gift, because they have already been thanked by the reception.

    Personally I'd read a "thanks for coming" card as a passive aggressive call out for not sending a gift. The sentiment is nice but I think better saved for maybe a Christmas card.
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  • mrs4everhartmrs4everhart member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I sent them. I thanked them for coming, because it was an expense they incurred to join us and we were appreciative that they spent their time and money to be there. 

    If anyone took it as passive-aggressive call out for not giving us a gift than I'm confused why they came, because they clearly don't know us very well.
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  • erinlin25erinlin25 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    Given the travel expenses they incurred I would definitely send a thank you.  I never feel like a thank you for coming is a gift grab or passive aggressive.  I genuinely appreciated everyone who took the time to come gift or not (ours was at least a 1.5-2.5+ travel for our wedding so I sent a thank you to everyone).
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  • loro929loro929 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    erinlin25 said:
    Given the travel expenses they incurred I would definitely send a thank you.  I never feel like a thank you for coming is a gift grab or passive aggressive.  I genuinely appreciated everyone who took the time to come gift or not (ours was at least a 1.5-2.5+ travel for our wedding so I sent a thank you to everyone).
    This. Present or not, people took time off of work, made and paid for travel arrangements all for you. There should be no doubt to send a TY note. It is not gift-grabby at all. In fact, people will probably feel very appreciated. 
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  • graciegragraciegra member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    Personally, I'd probably want to send them a note. Pick out notecards that don't say thank you and write them about how much fun you had seeing them and that it meant so much us that you could be there. Keep the rest of the note more social, like you'd write to a friend you don't get to see often. 
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  • NymeruNymeru member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I think it would be a nice gesture.  If you had a huge wedding, then you could probably pass on it, but since you had so few guests, it wouldn't take much extra effort on your part to write the rest of them thank you notes.
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  • TH28754TH28754 member
    Knottie Warrior 10 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Thanks everyone for your response.  I have decided to go ahead and send thank you notes.  I do have a question however  I have 2 guests that have indicated to me that they are sending a gift (they told me without me asking).  I have no idea when and its been a month since the wedding.  Do I send them a thank you note as well or wait until the gift?
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    TH28754 said:
    Thanks everyone for your response.  I have decided to go ahead and send thank you notes.  I do have a question however  I have 2 guests that have indicated to me that they are sending a gift (they told me without me asking).  I have no idea when and its been a month since the wedding.  Do I send them a thank you note as well or wait until the gift?
    You can't thank them for something you haven't received.  To do so prematurely runs the risk of it looking like you are hinting that they need to get their shopping on.  Things happen.  People change their minds.  Wait until you actually receive the gift before sending out a note.
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    Most of the 25 guests that came to my DW gave some type of gift.  But, even for the ones that didn't give a gift, I did send a note saying "thank you for joining us" to all guests. I also sent each guest  photos that had them from the wedding (most people had one or two photos plus a group photo). 

    image 

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