Small wedding with bigger one next year

Knottie47436215 · November 2014

Hi ladies!

So I feel a little lost. My fiancé and I have opted for a smaller wedding this year, and then a larger one (when we can afford it) next year. (Please don't come at me with the whole "you only get one wedding" stuff. I've heard it all and quite frankly I don't care.) My fiancé is an active duty marine and we need to be married ASAP but just don't have the money for a bigger wedding yet.

So the reason I'm writing here…

Our smaller wedding is in literally a month and a half. To make this even easier, the wedding is in California, 2000 miles away because both of our families live there. I'm wondering how I can inform people that our plan is to have another wedding next year on the invitation? I realize this is going to confuse pretty much everyone lol, but I want a way to word our invites so that people are at least aware. Help!

Thanks in advance!

Victoria

misshart00 · November 2014

A poem is the best way.

JennyColada · November 2014

I think part of the reason that you think everyone will be confused is because this is just something that people don't do.

So you want to send them an invitation to two parties a year apart on the same invitation? If you want to have a PPD that is neither here not there I suppose, but it doesn't need to be mentioned on the invite for your wedding a month from now.

misshart00 · November 2014

JennyColada said:

I think part of the reason that you think everyone will be confused is because this is just something that people don't do. So you want to send them an invitation to two parties a year apart on the same invitation? If you want to have a PPD that is neither here not there I suppose, but it doesn't need to be mentioned on the invite for your wedding a month from now.

But seriously, this. If you're going to have another "wedding" in a year, just send the invitations to that one 6-8 weeks before it. No need to prewarn everyone about it.

NYCMercedes · November 2014

Knottie47436215 said:

Hi ladies!
So I feel a little lost. My fiancé and I have opted for a smaller wedding this year, and then a larger one (when we can afford it) next year. (Please don't come at me with the whole "you only get one wedding" stuff. I've heard it all and quite frankly I don't care.) My fiancé is an active duty marine and we need to be married ASAP but just don't have the money for a bigger wedding yet.
So the reason I'm writing here…
Our smaller wedding is in literally a month and a half. To make this even easier, the wedding is in California, 2000 miles away because both of our families live there. I'm wondering how I can inform people that our plan is to have another wedding next year on the invitation? I realize this is going to confuse pretty much everyone lol, but I want a way to word our invites so that people are at least aware. Help!
Thanks in advance!
Victoria

So you want to invite people to your wedding this year and a party next year. These two events call for two separate invitations.

CMGragain · November 2014

There is no polite way to invite someone to two weddings. I cannot be done.

If you are having trouble finding proper wording for an event, it is usually because your plans are not proper.

climbingsingle · November 2014

NO.

doeydo · November 2014

http://forums.theknot.com/discussion/1036614/legally-married-now-having-a-real-wedding-stop-here-first-aka-the-ppd-faq-thread#latest

Have the wedding you can afford now and maybe have a party next year, but it is not by any means a wedding and should not have any of the trappings of a wedding.

holyguacamole79 · November 2014

Knottie47436215 said:

Hi ladies!
So I feel a little lost. My fiancé and I have opted for a smaller wedding this year, and then a larger one (when we can afford it) next year. (Please don't come at me with the whole "you only get one wedding" stuff. I've heard it all and quite frankly I don't care.) My fiancé is an active duty marine and we need to be married ASAP but just don't have the money for a bigger wedding yet.
So the reason I'm writing here…
Our smaller wedding is in literally a month and a half. To make this even easier, the wedding is in California, 2000 miles away because both of our families live there. I'm wondering how I can inform people that our plan is to have another wedding next year on the invitation? I realize this is going to confuse pretty much everyone lol, but I want a way to word our invites so that people are at least aware. Help!
Thanks in advance!
Victoria

Here is the invitation wording:

The honor of your presence is requested at the pretty princess day of

Victoria

and

Victoria's Man

The real wedding will occur on X date, and we want you to bring us gifts when we recreate our wedding in California.

Kthxbye

Jen4948 · November 2014

There are two polite courses of action open to you:

1) Don't do the "small wedding" now. Jut wait until next year and do everything then.

2) Do the small wedding now with whatever trappings are feasible and admit to everyone that this is, indeed, your one and only wedding. Then next year, perhaps on your anniversary, have a big party to celebrate with everyone you couldn't invite to the wedding, but leaving out the "wedding" trappings such as a big white gown, attendants, registry, first dance, and so on. Recognize that this party is not your "wedding reception" but a celebration of your marriage, and totally separate from your wedding.

Either of these options are okay per etiquette. But having a wedding now and then pretending it didn't take place, and then "getting married" later is not appropriate per etiquette. Nor is having a re-enactment of your wedding later. Only one wedding per marriage.

theartistformerlyknownas · November 2014

misshart00 said:

A poem is the best way.

Please join us at a party

Where I'll become a wife

But then I'll have another one

I've wanted all my life.

Because, you see, attention

Is all I really crave.

Even though I know quite well

That's no way for adults to behave.

So I'll get all the benefits

A military wife is due

But then, come back again next year

And bring more presents, too!

MairePoppy · November 2014

You should send wedding invitation to those who are invited to your actual wedding.There's no nice way to say 'Hey, we're getting married in six weeks. You're not invited to the main event, but you will be invited to a celebration about a year from now. So stay tuned.'

After your marriage ceremony, send simple announcements so your loved ones will know it's official.

When you've decided on a date and location for your party, let the VIPs know so they can save the date, if they wish. Send those invitations out 6 weeks prior to the party.

CMGragain · November 2014

lolo883 said:

misshart00 said:

A poem is the best way.

Please join us at a party
Where I'll become a wife
But then I'll have another one
I've wanted all my life.

Because, you see, attention
Is all I really crave.
Even though I know quite well
That's no way for adults to behave.

So I'll get all the benefits
A military wife is due
But then, come back again next year
And bring more presents, too!

OMG! I love it! Did you write this? It should be a sticky!

AddieCake · November 2014

Yeah, I don't know why you need to tell people about both ceremonies in one invitation. Invite people to your wedding now and then send invitations for your vow renewal in the normal time frame next year. Maybe send STDs or inform your VIPs by word of mouth.

MobKaz · November 2014

Knottie47436215 said:

Hi ladies!
So I feel a little lost. My fiancé and I have opted for a smaller wedding this year, and then a larger one (when we can afford it) next year. (Please don't come at me with the whole "you only get one wedding" stuff. I've heard it all and quite frankly I don't care.) My fiancé is an active duty marine and we need to be married ASAP but just don't have the money for a bigger wedding yet.
So the reason I'm writing here…
Our smaller wedding is in literally a month and a half. To make this even easier, the wedding is in California, 2000 miles away because both of our families live there. I'm wondering how I can inform people that our plan is to have another wedding next year on the invitation? I realize this is going to confuse pretty much everyone lol, but I want a way to word our invites so that people are at least aware. Help!
Thanks in advance!
Victoria

The clearest thing to do would be to send out the divorce notice inbetween the two ceremonies.

MairePoppy · November 2014

@MobKaz - I'm old enough to remember my local paper printing divorce notices, complete with the reason for divorce- adultery, abandonment, abuse etc.. YIKES!

@ CMGragain - we do need a sticky with the proper wording for wedding invitations and marriage announcements. If you'd like to do the honors, I'll sticky it. @lolo883 could offer her invitation as a 'what not to do' if she likes.

redoryx · November 2014

Knottie47436215 said: Hi ladies!So I feel a little lost. My fiancé and I have opted for a smaller wedding this year, and then a larger one (when we can afford it) next year. (Please don't come at me with the whole "you only get one wedding" stuff. I've heard it all and quite frankly I don't care.) My fiancé is an active duty marine and we need to be married ASAP but just don't have the money for a bigger wedding yet.So the reason I'm writing here…Our smaller wedding is in literally a month and a half. To make this even easier, the wedding is in California, 2000 miles away because both of our families live there. I'm wondering how I can inform people that our plan is to have another wedding next year on the invitation? I realize this is going to confuse pretty much everyone lol, but I want a way to word our invites so that people are at least aware. Help!Thanks in advance!Victoria ** edit: quote box not showing up**
Nobody needs to be married ASAP. That is a choice you are making. You are choosing to get married now for financial reasons and military benefits and blah blah. You are choosing to get married now instead of just waiting and saving up money to have the big to-do when you can afford it. It's fine. Lots of people choose to have small ceremonies, lots of people get married in a rush for financial or immigration reasons or whatever but please at least own that it's a choice.

Now. There is no need to send out invites now to the second party (because that's what it is, it is not a wedding) next year. Invite you who you are inviting to the wedding ceremony now, send out marriage announcements after, and then next year send out invites to the party/vow renewal.

slothiegal · November 2014

Knottie47436215 said:

Hi ladies!
So I feel a little lost. My fiancé and I have opted for a smaller wedding this year, and then a larger one (when we can afford it) next year. (Please don't come at me with the whole "you only get one wedding" stuff. I've heard it all and quite frankly I don't care.) My fiancé is an active duty marine and we need to be married ASAP but just don't have the money for a bigger wedding yet.
So the reason I'm writing here…
Our smaller wedding is in literally a month and a half. To make this even easier, the wedding is in California, 2000 miles away because both of our families live there. I'm wondering how I can inform people that our plan is to have another wedding next year on the invitation? I realize this is going to confuse pretty much everyone lol, but I want a way to word our invites so that people are at least aware. Help!
Thanks in advance!
Victoria

SO WHY ASK.

Small wedding with bigger one next year

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