Invitation situation

BrianaJane · November 2014

1.) My FIL passed away. His sister has very severe alsheimers and is living at home but compeletly unaware of anything. She has nurses taking care of her. They live in a different state and I never met her. Do I still invite her or just her husband?

2.) My best man has not had a significant other in the 8 years me and FI have been together. Does he still get a +1?

Teddy917 · November 2014

1. Still invite her. If she has even a sliver of sense left, she will appreciate that someone's thinking of her, whether or not she can come. Plus the husband is sure to appreciate it.

2. I would. Weddings are more fun with someone, even if the person already knows people there. Plus as your best man, he's probably doing a lot of extra things for you (even if it's just renting the attire that you requested) so it might be nice to let him bring someone.

allispain · November 2014

1. Yes. It would be rude to just invite her husband - you should never invite only one member of a couple, even if you are positive the second person will be unable to attend.

2. You aren't required to, but it is a nice gesture. We gave everyone who was in the BP a +1, unless they were in a relationship already in which case their SO was invited by name. About half choose to bring someone as their guest. The other half only RSVPed for 1.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

1. Yes, I invite them as a couple even though you know she won't be coming. She is still alive and to her husband, they are still a couple, even if she doesn't realize it mentally. Now you just have to decide that should he decide to come and maybe not want to come alone, if he asks to bring a friend or a different relative from his side, like a sibling so he won't be alone, would you be ok with that.

2. You don't have to include a +1 for him. We didn't include +1 for all of our single guests (the ones who were truly single). When making the decision to allow a +1 for single guests or not we looked at, how many people will this people know at the wedding besides us (bride & groom). If they wouldn't know anyone really, then we gave them +1 so they would have at least one person there that they knew and would enjoy hanging out with since we couldn't spend our evening focusing on just one or two guests.

Jen4948 · November 2014

1. Yes, Couples, even those that don't live together, those where you only know one of the couple, and those where only one is expected to come, are still couples and should be invited as such. If you are asked if her husband can bring someone else in place of his wife, you'll have a decision to make, but by default, his SO is his wife.

2. You don't have to, strictly speaking, if he's an unattached single. It is considered a nice gesture to do so for members of your wedding party and for people who have to travel long-distance to the wedding, but ultimately it's up to you.

huskypuppy14 · November 2014

1) Who cares if you have never met her. This is your FI family, so if he wants to invite the husband, you must invite the wife as well. Seriously, I met most of my husband's family at the wedding, because many of them live all over the country.

2) It's up to you. You don't have to give anyone who is truly single a plus one.

annakay511 · November 2014

1) Yes, invite her. They most likely will not come (or her husband will come without her) but it would be very rude not to invite her.

2) Personally, no I would not give him a plus one. We aren't doing any plus ones, even for bridal party members, unless they are in a long-term relationship (dating over 1 year, living together, and/or engaged)

Viczaesar · November 2014

annakay511 said:

1) Yes, invite her. They most likely will not come (or her husband will come without her) but it would be very rude not to invite her.

2) Personally, no I would not give him a plus one. We aren't doing any plus ones, even for bridal party members, unless they are in a long-term relationship (dating over 1 year, living together, and/or engaged)

You should be inviting SOs of ALL guests, regardless of how long they've been together. Also, invitations to guests with their named SO are not plus ones.

climbingsingle · November 2014

BrianaJane said:

1.) My FIL passed away. His sister has very severe alsheimers and is living at home but compeletly unaware of anything. She has nurses taking care of her. They live in a different state and I never met her. Do I still invite her or just her husband? 2.) My best man has not had a significant other in the 8 years me and FI have been together. Does he still get a +1?

I'm sorry about your FIL. Yes, I would still invite his sister along with and her husband.

I gave my MOH a plus one, even though she's single. I think it's a nice thing to do for your bridal party.

climbingsingle · November 2014

annakay511 said:

1) Yes, invite her. They most likely will not come (or her husband will come without her) but it would be very rude not to invite her.

2) Personally, no I would not give him a plus one. We aren't doing any plus ones, even for bridal party members, unless they are in a long-term relationship (dating over 1 year, living together, and/or engaged)

Uh, no. That is rude. Etiquette says anyone that considers them self in a relationship needs to be invited with their SO. How is a relationship under a year not long term? My husband and I were engaged after dating for 5 months. So the week before we got engaged, I wouldn't have been able to attend a wedding with him by your guidelines?!

esstee33 · November 2014

annakay511 said:

1) Yes, invite her. They most likely will not come (or her husband will come without her) but it would be very rude not to invite her.

2) Personally, no I would not give him a plus one. We aren't doing any plus ones, even for bridal party members, unless they are in a long-term relationship (dating over 1 year, living together, and/or engaged)

Uh, no to #2. How rude. You invite the partner of EVERYONE who is in a relationship, even if it doesn't fall within your arbitrary guidelines for "seriousness." Significant others are invited by name, as a guest, along with their partner. They're not "plus ones."

peachy13 · November 2014

annakay511 said:

1) Yes, invite her. They most likely will not come (or her husband will come without her) but it would be very rude not to invite her.

2) Personally, no I would not give him a plus one. We aren't doing any plus ones, even for bridal party members, unless they are in a long-term relationship (dating over 1 year, living together, and/or engaged)

2) I think it's kind and polite to invite your wedding party members with a plus one regardless of their relationship status. So if one of your bridesmaids has been dating someone for 6 months and officially calling him her boyfriend, boyfriend doesn't get an invite because it's not "long-term" by your definition? Maybe no one in your WP falls into that category but I bet they're all snarking hard on you.

[Deleted User] · November 2014

peachy13 said:

annakay511 said:

1) Yes, invite her. They most likely will not come (or her husband will come without her) but it would be very rude not to invite her.

2) Personally, no I would not give him a plus one. We aren't doing any plus ones, even for bridal party members, unless they are in a long-term relationship (dating over 1 year, living together, and/or engaged)

2) I think it's kind and polite to invite your wedding party members with a plus one regardless of their relationship status. So if one of your bridesmaids has been dating someone for 6 months and officially calling him her boyfriend, boyfriend doesn't get an invite because it's not "long-term" by your definition? Maybe no one in your WP falls into that category but I bet they're all snarking hard on you.

"Boyfriend" is not a plus one, he's a Significant Other and gets invited whether he's been her Boyfriend for six hours or six years.

Invitation situation

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