Wedding Etiquette Forum

WR Vent: Guests bringing guests

One of my fiancé's friends is bringing a guest to the wedding but hasn't given us his name yet. We already had to get in touch with her after the deadline to even get her RSVP, and when we did, she said they were both having the beef, but didn't say who she was bringing with her.

Since then, my fiancé has had ZERO luck getting in touch with her. We already ordered placecards, so we have a blank one ready and waiting for this guy's name. But the friend isn't responding to Facebook messages or text messages, she's not answering her phone, and her voicemail is full.

I'm really frustrated, but this guy's gonna have "So and so's Guest" on his placecard at this point, and there's nothing else I can do.

Moral of the story: Don't do this.
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Re: WR Vent: Guests bringing guests

  • It's annoying but not the end of the world. We ended up having "& Guest" on a number of escort cards. We didn't want it but we had a few people tell us that they were bringing dates but not know who their dates would be until the last minute. Ironically, most of the these folks ended up showing up alone.
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  • So annoying! We had someone do this too. One of H's friends was in a brand new relationship that began after the invites went out. We told him he could bring her, and he didn't write her name on the RVSP. We contacted him numerous times - we needed not only her name for the place card, but for the entree list and for the security at the gate house. And of course, neither of them are on Facebook, so we couldn't stalk her name either. He finally got back to us the week of the wedding. 
  • How annoying! I wonder if something happened between her and the guest, like a falling out, and now she doesn't know what to say? Either way, she should let you guys know.

    I went to a wedding where this close friend of the groom was invited with a guest (he's single), but said he was coming solo on the RSVP. Then a day before the wedding he changed his mind, so the bride and groom had to scramble to get an extra plate/seat. They didn't have time to put the guest's name on the placecard, and apparently the guy and his guest were super pissed about it. Like, what do you expect to happen when you do that a day before their wedding?!

    Formerly martha1818

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  • It's annoying but not the end of the world. We ended up having "& Guest" on a number of escort cards. We didn't want it but we had a few people tell us that they were bringing dates but not know who their dates would be until the last minute. Ironically, most of the these folks ended up showing up alone.
    Every. Damn. One of them did this at ours. 


    We will be the best wedding guests ever. Moral of the story: invite knotties to your wedding, not your rude family and friends :)
    This is clearly the best solution.

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  • I brought a friend to a coworkers wedding several years ago. Despite writing him name on the RSVP and telling my coworker his name again several weeks later, we still showed up to the wedding with "Charlie & Guest" on an escort card. I was a little annoyed, but only because I had gone to the trouble to tell my coworker multiple times. She has forfeited her right to snark at this point. I don't think it's a big deal.
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  • Eh, I mean, I know that there's nothing else we can really do. I'm just venting. It's just yet another issue we've been dealing with this week.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • I can totally relate. Here we are 6 days out and I had 2 friends who RSVPd for themselves (we extended a guest invite as well)  casually mention they are still trying to find a date. Um. You RSVPd already without one! And then my fiance's Grandma had guests over for dinner last night and started talking about the wedding, they asked if they were invited, she said yes (they weren't) and then she realized her mistake later. She asked me what to do, I told her sorry, it's too late to add them, so she explained and they said they understood but still, super awkward, and I feel awful.
  • Maybe I should change my name to "Ann Guest".....
  • I brought a friend to a coworkers wedding several years ago. Despite writing him name on the RSVP and telling my coworker his name again several weeks later, we still showed up to the wedding with "Charlie & Guest" on an escort card. I was a little annoyed, but only because I had gone to the trouble to tell my coworker multiple times. She has forfeited her right to snark at this point. I don't think it's a big deal.

    This happened to me at my cousin's wedding a few years ago. I wrote the name of my BF at the time on the RSVP card, Facebook clearly showed that we were in a relationship, and yet my escort card read "lmcooper86 and Guest". So irritating.

    @phira - You've done what you can, you've tried numerous times to get the guest's name, it's their problem if they don't provide it for you. Sorry they're being such a pain!

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  • Emilio829 said:
    I can totally relate. Here we are 6 days out and I had 2 friends who RSVPd for themselves (we extended a guest invite as well)  casually mention they are still trying to find a date. Um. You RSVPd already without one! And then my fiance's Grandma had guests over for dinner last night and started talking about the wedding, they asked if they were invited, she said yes (they weren't) and then she realized her mistake later. She asked me what to do, I told her sorry, it's too late to add them, so she explained and they said they understood but still, super awkward, and I feel awful.
    SAME WEDDING DAY *high five*
    Anniversary
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  • I hope this is the biggest problem you have this week =)
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  • I hope this is the biggest problem you have this week =)
    I mean, I've got a bird on hormone treatments for a tumor (so he's misbehaving like whoa), I've got paternal grandparents who are guilt-tripping me about how I've rejected their family, I've got a huge problem with my coursework, and I've been having problems with my research. This is probably the smallest problem I've got so far :\
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • Ugh @phira ... I had to do this too with a guest (who is known as having a girlfiend "flavor of the month" unfortunately).  I just put Mr. X and Mr. X's guest and hoped she wasn't too offended but I also assume she had heard of his reputation if he was dating her (he has at least always been honest with people he dates about his tendancy to move on quickly).
  • phira said:
    I mean, I've got a bird on hormone treatments for a tumor (so he's misbehaving like whoa), I've got paternal grandparents who are guilt-tripping me about how I've rejected their family, I've got a huge problem with my coursework, and I've been having problems with my research. This is probably the smallest problem I've got so far :\
    All the more reason to just let it go! 

    Have a very happy wedding day!!!
  • Maybe I should change my name to "Ann Guest".....
    Going to the courthouse tomorrow to get the paperwork started....I hope I get a judge that will agree with me on my reasons for changing my name!

  • And this is one big reason why we are not allowing our single friends to bring guests.

    Don't sweat it! You're getting married this weekend! Woohoo!
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