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Do I have to ask my brother's wife to be BM?

jlmuncyjlmuncy member
Third Anniversary
in Wedding Party
I was just wondering if I have to ask my brother's wife to be a bridesmaid?
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Re: Do I have to ask my brother's wife to be BM?

  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Goodness NO. Unless she's your best friend, your nearest and dearest. Best advice I saw on here in regards to this was "Would you be calling her/him to help you move a dead body?" I think you know how to proceed accordingly. And being in someone's wedding before doesn't automatically make them a part of your bridal party.

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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    What?  No.  Why would you?
    Anniversary

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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    No. Include the people who mean the most to you. And include the number of people you want, not what you think you're "supposed" to have as bridesmaids.  
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    No. Definitely not.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • JaxInBlueJaxInBlue member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    You do not have to.  Your bridesmaids are your choice and should be your nearest and dearest.  If it's important to your overall family harmony that she participate in some way, you could always ask her to do a reading during the ceremony - if you want readings/readers, that is.
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    Anniversary


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  • peachy13peachy13 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    No, unless you are very close, you definitely don't have to ask her. 

    Are you asking because you were in your brother's wedding? My FSIL is putting up a bit of a fight that my FI isn't asking her husband to be a groomsman, and is using the argument that my FI was in their wedding, so her husband should be in our wedding.

    I'm just like, that's not how it goes!!! 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    peachy13 said:

    No, unless you are very close, you definitely don't have to ask her. 


    Are you asking because you were in your brother's wedding? My FSIL is putting up a bit of a fight that my FI isn't asking her husband to be a groomsman, and is using the argument that my FI was in their wedding, so her husband should be in our wedding.

    I'm just like, that's not how it goes!!! 
    Ugh. I just had to fight this same fight with my mother over my SIL. "She had you stand up with her. You could at least invite her to be a bridesmaid for you." No. No. NO. Not. Happening.

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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    Hell even if you're really close, you don't have to invite her. Even if you were in her wedding. You don't need any bridesmaids, or a certain number of bridesmaids, or a matching number of bridesmaids to groomsmen, or coupled off bridesmaids and groomsmen, or tit-for-tat bridesmaids. 

    Ask whomever you feel "my day would not be complete without ____ standing by my side."
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Nope. 
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  • danamwdanamw member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2014

    The "dead body" comparison is distasteful to me. I know it is just a colorful metaphor, but there is no one who could call me, who I would help in anything illegal!

    And I would never kill anyone, so it is moot for me.

    And being a bridesmaid at a wedding is not as serious as life and death, despite how any bride feels!

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  • theartistformerlyknownastheartistformerlyknownas member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    @slothiegal your siggy just made my life complete.
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
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    I aim to please!
    Anniversary

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  • Lauderdale PinkLauderdale Pink member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Have to? No. But it would be nice.
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  • danamwdanamw member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2014

    You must be fun at parties.


    Everybody damn loves the hell out of me at parties!

     I give expensive gifts, and I don't drink their liquor!

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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    danamw said:

    The "dead body" comparison is distasteful to me. I know it is just a colorful metaphor, but there is no one who could call me, who I would help in anything illegal!

    And I would never kill anyone, so it is moot for me.

    And being a bridesmaid at a wedding is not as serious as life and death, despite how any bride feels!

    Lighten up, Francis.
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  • danamwdanamw member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper

    Well, everybody lighten up then, Lady Edith.

    I know it doesn't mean a literal dead body disposal, but still, this is a wedding board, and aren't there prettier word pictures you could create?



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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    danamw said:

    Well, everybody lighten up then, Lady Edith.

    I know it doesn't mean a literal dead body disposal, but still, this is a wedding board, and aren't there prettier word pictures you could create?



    Lord help us if we're expected to be pretty and frilly just because it's a wedding board.

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    The point being made is, if you wouldn't go to someone when you're in imminent trouble, you're not close enough for them to be in your wedding party.
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  • danamwdanamw member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    That's better.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    danamw said:
    That's better.
    This just makes me want to be distasteful all over the place. 
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  • slothiegalslothiegal member
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    Viczaesar said:
    show previous quotes
    This just makes me want to be distasteful all over the place. 
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    Anniversary

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  • danamwdanamw member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Oh that is cute! You and your husband look like a fun couple.
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  • beetherybeethery member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    danamw said:
    Oh that is cute! You and your husband look like a fun couple.
    This is dumb. Cut the shit.
    --

    I'm the fuck     out.

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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer

    No, you do not need to include brother's wife as a BM.  Traditionally the BM's should be your closest friends or people you are closest to.  And you are not REQUIRED to include anybody in your party.  You could have one person, 10 people, or not have any.  It's up to you.

    But, some people do choose to include all the siblings or keep the party completely or mostly family.  My sister's bridal party consisted of all siblings & sibling spouses from both sides.  So, BM's included bride's sister, bride's brothers wife, grooms sisters, grooms brothers wife.  Groomsmen were same way (brothers, husbands, etc.).

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  • AliceBarakAliceBarak member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    edited November 2014
    No
    http://www.weddingtipsforall.com/the-secrets-to-writing-a-memorable-father-of-the-groom-speech/
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    AliceBarak said:
    No
    http://www.weddingtipsforall.com/the-secrets-to-writing-a-memorable-father-of-the-groom-speech/
    The link is not relevant to the topic of this thread.
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